Monday, 5 January 2009

Washing machine temporarily reprieved

Dearya Fowah.

(I can do it! I totally have this phonetic Geordie accent thing down. Thanks Expat Mum... And for those of you who have no clue what the incredibly obvious words above mean, it says 'Day 4' in Geordie...) (Oh yes, it does...)

Boy #2 seems to be getting the hang of this potty lark a little. Not a lot - but a little. We've still gone through 2 pairs of pants and one pair of trousers and socks so far today, but we're not talking biblical floods here, more rushy streams that - gasp - Boy #2 was able to put a stop to once he realised what was going on. Not perfect, but a start...

I would now write about something a little more interesting but having been confined to barracks for the last 3 days in the interests of ditching the nappies, my knowledge of goings-on in the real world are somewhat limited.

Here's what I know...

I know it's cold. I know it actually sleeted here this morning - which is a bit of an Event here and is probably the closest we'll get to real snow in Central London until sometime in 2010 - so I took the opportunity to put on my Timberland boots since this is the closest the poor under-utilised shoes will get to 'extreme weather' this winter. I know too that they looked ridiculous clumping round Sainsbury's on the Cromwell Road.

What else? I know Husband is immersed in work and monosyllabic as a result. I know that both my sons are SOOO ready for school again tomorrow. I know that I am even readier for this to happen than they are. And I know that on our trip to get the Boys' hair cut this afternoon I will end up bribing them to behave with lollies, and still have to drag Boy #2 kicking and screaming away from the toy locomotive he's sitting in when we leave...

And finally, I know that I would like to write the following e-mail and send it to multiple recipients, but that I won't, not really...

From: Potty Mummy
To: Editors (of certain free magazines)
Re: Etiquette

Dear Editors (of certain free magazines),

Hi, me again, Potty Mummy. You remember, perhaps..? I wrote to you a couple of months back and asked if I might possibly be of help by providing free content which fitted in with your overall editoral approach. You don't remember?

Anyway, you didn't get the chance to get back to me yet, and I do appreciate that you are busy. You are, no doubt, Very Important. May I suggest though, that even so it probably wouldn't slow you down too much to set up a standard reply saying, 'Thanks, but no thanks'.

Best regards,



  1. Yes, some of them can be very rude. (Oops, forgot to do it in Geordie. Too early in the morning over here.)
    Perhaps telling them how many readers you actually have will help? I have found that you have to be incredibly boastful to get anywhere.

  2. Oh bother. Poor you re the magazines. How disappointing.

    Can I do you a Scottish rendering of Day Four? Yes? Thanks. Well I reckon it would be Dee Foo-rrr (Foo as in how you and I would say food).

  3. My poor washing machine actually upped and died during Mac's Potty Training Time. Literally expired on me. I could hear it whining "Not MORE least scrape some of it off before you expect me to deal with it". Hats off to you.

    We had actual snow here in Nunhead. Actually enough to pick up and fashion a teeny tiny snowman which Junior Dog insisted was just a lump of snow and ate it.

  4. EPM, the problem may be that I'm not sure whether my reader number is actually something to be boastful about... (varies 300 - 400 per week. Compared to the heavy hitters like Wife in the North, that's very small beer!)

    Iota, thanks and long may your lum reek (don't think that's relevant but I'm told it IS Scottish...)

    NH Mum, we'll be over shortly as the boys are desparate to make a snowman and given the very poor showing on the white stuff here it's not going to happen in S. Ken!

  5. Nice to hear there has been some progress. No doubt the Nursery staff will be able to help things along too. I'm sure I'll be able to hear your huge sigh of relief all the way Downunder once both boys are safely ensconced in their schools tomorrow. Small boys (and girls) at home in poor weather conditions are very trying. Wrap up warmly and enjoy!!

    I have a theory that the first things many people with even a modicum of power lose are their manners. There is NO excuse for failing to reply to a letter. Even a pro-forma 'thanks but no thanks', whilst not welcome, would be acceptable. Don't give up though, you have a gift for words that should be shared with a wider audience.

  6. Glad things are moving forward with the potty training!

    I agree with Expat Mum - you got to sell yourself! 300-400 readers is alot!!

  7. Sharon, did you hear it? My sigh of relief as Husband left the house with both boys to drop them off this morning? I'm told it registered around a 5 on the Richter scale...

    Thanks Laura. And you and EPM are right - I must get onto the selling thing... (once I've picked the fluff out of my hair and wiped Boy #2's snot off my jumper). As you can, self promotion comes naturally...

  8. It's bloody FREEZING isn't it?!

    I was actually crunching through snow yesterday morning in deepest darkest N16.

    For the first time in my life I am seriously contemplating buying a pair of Uggs. Loads of my colleagues are wearing them today and I'm jealous quite frankly...

    Happy New Year PM - and good luck with the potty training!

  9. I can't believe the eds haven't replied!
    When I was features ed at a newspaper I would have snapped anyone's hand off right up to the elbow, if they were offering me decent free content.

  10. OK PM - let's test your newly found Geordie skills over at my place.

  11. I'm not so sure about ditching the nappies right now...It's so cold over here, I'd quite welcome one myself...I'm freezing my arse off!
    Happy New Year to you, lovely Potsy, to your busy, monosyllabic but ultimately super-charming hubster (I'm assuming!Guessing!?Hoping!) and of course to your highly entertaining boys.
    Mya x

  12. LBB, you're right, it's brass monkeys out there. Not sure on the Uggs though - apparantly they would have been no use in the snow as they're not actually waterproof. Stick to timberlands, I say. Or wellies. (I hear Barbour do some lovely printed ones these days - though perhaps that just the south ken mummy in me talking?) Happy New Year to you too!

    Tara, thanks. Will be in touch to pick your brains!

    EPM, I got it, I got it, I rock, I rock... (ahem. Sorry).

    May, thankyou and right back at you. I think that even though it is freezing here by London standards you probably have the edge on us in low temperatures. To that end, would you like me to source some incontinence pants in Boots that may have the same warming effect as nappies?


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