It's Saturday so, rush rush rush. Whoever said the weekend was for relaxing either had help, or no children... This is just a quick post to share a couple of pearls of wisdom with you whilst the troops are on manouvre in Holland Park with their father;
1. Should you develop diziness and have difficulty seeing, do not automatically assume you have developed sinusitis leading to orbital cellutis * like your father did last week. Before hitting the panic button take the following steps;
a. Go to the bathroom
b. Remove contact lenses
c. Switch them over to opposite eyes
d. Resume every day life
e. Feel slightly embarrassed over drama-queen tendancies
2. If, having spent 2 fruitless weeks trying to potty train your son, you decide to put the whole sorry business on hold for a while, be sure to advise the relevant child. Otherwise he will come bustling into the kitchen, plump little buttocks flashing for all the world to see, and proudly hand you his easily-removed pull-up nappy which is now full of pooh. He may not have got the point about delivering the pooh into the potty rather than his pants, but he certainly understands that it's not particularly comfortable to wander around 'fully-loaded'. As you gingerly dispose of the evidence in the loo whilst trying not to tip it all over your shoes, he will then ask for a chocolate button for being so helpful.
3. It doesn't matter how tired you are, how distracted you are by arguments over which Power Ranger is best - the Blue or the Red one - or that you are racing to get your children into their pyjamas before 'A Farm Life' starts on Discovery so they can have their daily slice of muck, bullets and orphaned lambs. Forgetting to put your un-potty trained younger son into a nappy before bedtime is never a good idea.
Although Febreze does help with the clean-up process the next morning.
* Note; Orbital Cellulitis is actually a very serious condition - click on the term to check it out. I had never heard of it before and yet it kills 20% of those develop it, with a further 20% of survivors losing part of their sight. If you ever develop double vision (non-alcohol related, clearly!), go straight to hospital.