>> Monday, 27 July 2015
At the lunch table today I was not really concentrating on what Boys #1 and #2 were talking about, when suddenly:
Boy #1: "No, I didn't do that. I fighted."
Boy #2: "Fighted? What are you talking about? You mean 'fought'. 'Fighted' is something a Boove would say. Your grammar is as bad a Boove's!"
Boy #1: "Yes, of course. I was trying to sound like a Boove." (He so wasn't).
Me (not really having paid much attention up until this point): "Hang on - what did you say, Boy #2? Did you say Boy #1 sounded like a boob?"
Both Boys fell about laughing.
Boy #2: "No, mum. I said Boove. Like in 'Home'. Not boooooooob." He paused for a moment, considering. "Although, boobs have terrible grammar too. All they do is sit there and look at you."
Me (what?): "What?" (We're not overly modest in our family but, apart from mine from time to time, when had he actually seen that many boobs? And I didn't really want to think too much about the 'sitting there and looking at you' comment - that's the stuff nightmares are made of and which helps therapists pay their bills...) "Which boobs are you talking about?"
Boy #1: "You know, Mum. The ones we saw in the shopping centre this morning."
I blinked. Boobs? In the shopping centre? Again, what?
Me: "Where was I when you saw this?"
Boy #2: "Looking for shower gel, I think."
Suddenly it clicked. They were talking about a large ad for Agent Provocateur perfume on the front window of a beauty store I was visiting. But whilst it was a provocative image (the clue's in the brand name, I guess), I didn't remember any actual breasts on display, and I certainly hadn't paid much attention to it. Then again, I wasn't an 11 or a 9 year old boy...
Me: "Oh, ok. But it was no big deal - she was wearing underwear."
Boy #1: "Yes, but you could see the edges of - them..."
Me: "Well, fair enough. But it didn't really show her Booves. I mean boobs. Did it?"
Boys #1 and #2: "Hahahahahahahaha! You called them Booves! You meant boobs! Booves, not boobs! Hahahahahaha!"
Reader, it definitely was not my slightly hysterical laughter that echoed theirs as I considered the imminent onset of my sons' adolescence and all the joy that it will bring...