Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Do as I say, not as I do

Are you a hypocritical parent? No? Are you sure?

Are you absolutely positive?

Ever said to your child "No, you can't have any more crisps, they're full of salt and fat and very bad for you" and then finished the packet when they've left room?

Ever doled out a measly handful of chocolate buttons, and then wolfed the rest down yourself when no-one is looking?

Have you ever said "Right, that's enough television for now. Let's get outside into the garden, it's a lovely day." and then spent the evening watching mindless drivel and repeats of 'Friends'?

Have you ever commented on the fact that your child's bedroom is a tip and insisted everything is tidied away before the fun stuff happens, whilst stoically ignoring the fact that your own bed looks as if it's a stall at the local Bring and Buy fair?

Have you ever insisted your children finish their dinner because it's full of vitamins which they need to grow big and strong, and then eaten a frozen pizza (with a salad, of course) after they're in bed?


Me neither.


  1. *stands up*

    My name is Laura and I AM a hypocritical parent.

    Ever systematically worked your way through your children's Easter eggs over a period of days and only given them the smallest chocolate button one?

  2. I am absolutely 100% a hypocrytical parent. Do as I say, not as I do is my motto (thanks mum). Now, where are the remainder of the chocolate buttons...I have an episode of Dr Who to watch before I tackle the dish washer/go for a run/do something remotely useful.

  3. How about "don't say 'hate' it's not nice".. and promptly say it yourself five minutes later.

    Ditto - 'oh my god'.

    Ditto - 'shit'.

    Ditto - 'don't shout'

  4. Oh yes, know that one. Always making the boys eat fruit(all that 5 a day stuff) and yet hardly ever bother with it myself any more. Getting them to switch the TV off and go to bed, then sitting down to watch Eastenders. I could go on.

    But I guess it's better that they know what they are supposed to do now? Then, like us, they can choose to break all the rules and become slummy, lazy slobs later on in life...

  5. I've never done ANY of those things. Not one. And I've certainly NEVER told the boys they've spent far too long on the computer and then jumped on there and and spent the next few hours on GoogleReader and blogs. Oh no. Not me.

  6. My name is Nicky and I too am a hypocritical parent.

    I too have done all the people above me have done, I have also uttered the dreaded phrase 'Because I say so, thats why!'

    Consider my head hanging in shame.

  7. God, you're so right. I never let mine eat junk, but sometimes I take the toddler to the park just so I can eat a mars bar unseen while I push him (from behind) on the swing...

  8. No. Absolutely not. I've never done those things.

    And I never fib either. That is something I wouldn't tolerate in my children, so I'd never do it myself.

    I love More than a Mother's confession of the behind-the-toddler Mars bar!

  9. I'm right there with all of you. Although I can honestly say that I tend to tell them not to pee in their pants and it's not often that I find myself wetting my knickers (trampolines do fabulous things for pelvic floors). So on THAT issue, I can hold my head high.

  10. I don't know what you're talking about! ;-)

  11. Potty, I'm shocked!
    but...not as shocked as I am at Laura!!
    My goodness, how lucky my children are to have a perfect mother (hic!..dribble)

  12. Laura, how dare you suggest that? (Do you have webcam to our house or something?)

    Nicola, I thank god we don't have Sky Plus. There but for the grace of god...

    BM, ummmmm. Oh, OK. I do that too. But add 'bugger' in for good measure, would you?

    NVG; like their parents, right? But yes, totally know where you're coming from. Their decision to eat fast food and never exercise will at least be and INFORMED one...

    GPM, we're all going to hell, aren't we?

    Tawny - thanks for the visit, and as for saying that - find me someone who hasn't...

    More Than; a Mars Bar - or a Snickers - or a Crunchie - or...

    Iota, so true. What's a friendly white lie between friends if not a fib?

    H.O.M., thanks for visiting and good point. (Note to self; buy trampoline...)

    WM, who? What? Sorry, did someone say something?

    Frog; I'm assuming you tell the Vampire that alchohol is EVIL as well...?

  13. Yes yes yes yes yes.

    Oh god Potty Mummy, you've outed the lot of us.
    Damn you.

    Oh and MTAM, don't feel bad because I've done that too. Oh god, I feel so much better for getting that off my chest!

  14. R told me off the other day for slamming the door. I had stomped out of the room because she wouldn't stand still to have her buttons done up. Amazingly, she didn't tell me off for stomping and throwing a tantrum.

    Fortunately, she doesn't see me eat the four biscuits to her one. And she didn't see me when I pushed her round the park eating chocolate and drinking cans of coke. And she doesn't yet know that fizzy pop isn't actually only for grown-ups, like beer and wine, and nor are the sweeties that line the post office.

    No hypocrisy there, no. Not at all.

  15. Frog, you know you love it...

    Tara, that's the point. We ALL do it!

    Tasha, well of COURSE pop is for grown-ups. Just like Kettle Chips, Pringles, expensive chocolates, premium ice cream (no scratch that, they tried the G&B ice creams, have been rumbled there), and oh, the list is endless.

    Jo, you are a saint in human form. I suspected it, and now I know it.

  16. My plan is to be a hypocritical parent but she's a bit too young yet. I shall just read and learn!!!

  17. It pays to have a loophole when practicing hypocrisy.

    Yes, I do tell her she should eat so many chips - but she wouldn't have salt & vinegar anyway so there is my loophole!

  18. But all those edible or drinkable things are BAD for children, their little digestive systems cannot handle so much complexity. Of course when they are older they can indulge in such substances with impunity - as long as they are prepared to ignore their burgeoning shape and variable degrees of malaise engendered by said consumption... As for TV or computer screens, everybody knows they cause children to develop square eyes or a need for spectacles (you can ask my younger son about that!), whereas the more sophisticated (or already damaged) structure of the adult ocular equipment is able to deal with the constant flicker with no problem at all.

    Who, me? A hypocrite, whatever made you think that! Go wash your mouth out with - well anything you fancy really, you're not one of your children ;-)

  19. Okay. Seriously. Do you have a spy cam fitted in my house that is beamed to a screen in the Potty Household? Do you?

  20. Now that I've received training, I just need daughter to start speaking!


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