Thursday, 8 January 2009

Life lessons

A random selection of lessons learned over the last 24 hours...

1. Do not assume that because you pick up Boy #2 from nursery with a full complement of clean trousers and pants that you have reached a successful end to the matter of Potty Training. It is only 'Day 7' (Geordie accent please, as usual), and as such it seems he is legally required to wait until you arrive at friend's house for the Boys to have a playdate with her two daughters before (wait for it....) parking a fatty in his pants. Again. (Sorry Bush Mummy, I know that expression is yours, but it makes me laugh each time I write it, and god do I need to laugh about this).

2. Do not for a moment think that because when you left the house for the Christmas break you left tempting bowls of mouse poison scattered artistically across the floor, the little varmints will actually have eaten them.

3. A few days after your return from that break, if you think you hear a mouse when you are alone in the house, during the day? You probably have heard a mouse.

4. It is a good idea to have a husband home when you hear the noise again in the evening, because good god, that sounds like a big one. (Do these creatures carry tools or something? I swear the one I heard last night was using a pneumatic drill as it tried to break through the door of the office where I had, coward-like, trapped it before screaming like a girl and running to Husband for help.)

5. Mousetraps may be gross. But they work.

6. If you do decide to use the Box of Death, it is a good thing for Husband to be home first thing the following morning to dispose of the evidence. (He tried to get me to look at the damn thing to see it wasn't that big. I did have a quick glance - but only to confirm that it was, in fact, wearing a tool belt and a hard hat).

6. That amazingly sometimes persistence does pay off. The editor of one of those free magazines (not one that I had previously mentioned, obviously, but a different one, I swear it!) has accepted a piece of my writing. Hurrah!

Now, it's Boy #2's birthday tomorrow. This time 3 years ago his big head was stuck, and I was mooing like a cow. Long live drugs and emergency c-sections, I say. But seriously, to all those who think natural child-birth is the way to go and that there are far too many interventions nowadays, I applaud the sentiment, but ultimately all I cared about was having a healthy baby. In the end there was only one way to make sure that happened, so we took it. And the result is our beautiful Boy #2; smart, loving, independent, stubborn, funny, bright, not yet potty-trained, and a light in my life.

Also? If I think about lessons learned, I have to say, having been through the birth process twice, and having used both the front door (Boy #1) and the sunroof (Boy #2), that the first experience made me appreciate being able to sit down after the second time I gave birth like you wouldn't believe...


  1. All this talk about sitting down and pushing large objects out makes me think that you and your youngest son have more in common than you realise...

  2. And forgot to say big congrats, of course, on the publication.

  3. Backdoor/sunroof - just hilarious! Some chap is going to come over and read that and be all 'what the?'

    That's brilliant that your writing has been accepted. You go girl!

  4. PM - if you go to Hadriana's Treasures and Lakeland Jo, as well as my recent posts, you have a lot to answer for.
    Geordies unite - and make everyone else sick and tired of trying to work out what on earth we are saying.

  5. Congratulations on the acceptance. It really does pay to persevere - even if no actual cash is forthcoming just yet! Maybe next time.

    Boy #2 is well on the way, give him another couple of weeks and I'm sure all will be well, and the cheapo 'disposable' pants - brilliant idea.

    OK I understand about the trains now but maybe try negotiating a limit to the carriages because the table isn't big enough for them and they might get damaged...?

    Bit green (with envy, not nausea) re your sunroof delivery. My boy #1 got stuck because he turned his large oval head sideways during delivery. The 'lovely' obstetrician on call shoved him back up (and yes, that did hurt) turned him round and yanked him out on the end of a large set of forceps! Just over a year later I was back in hospital for surgery to repair the damage! Fun, although to be brutally frank, the worst thing was that I found out afterwards that such a delivery could have broken my baby's neck!

  6. Sorry to hear the mice are back. I am still wallowing in the illusion that ours are gone, so if I hear a suspicious noise at night in the kitchen I just close my ears...and as for mousetraps, I won't even go and LOOK when one is caught in there.

    As for the front door/sunroof? I've only done the latter, (and thought that was bloody painful) so am interested to hear your perspective!

  7. sorry to hear about those pesky mice making a reappearance. We have been putting trays of poison everywhere to try to ward them off this year, i am quietly hopeful but now i have said that we will get an invasion tomorrow, i know it.

    Congrats on the magazine publication!

    And the sitting down after giving birth has been on my mind a lot recently and i am really trying to appreciate the whole sitting down without grimacing in total agony thing at the moment while i still can...

  8. Oh, my god, you make me laugh. Parking a fatty? Bwahahaha. And sunroof and front door? Brilliant.

    Huge congrats on the publication. Not so much on the mouse.

  9. Thought the mice were gone.

    Found a poo yesterday.

    Here we go again...

  10. Happy Birthday to Boy 2 and well done you for having him safely.. your pelvic floor must be in much better nick than mine.

    Hope you've had a lovely day with your boys.

    BM x

  11. Ah, Iota. You rumbled me... And thankyou!

    Tara, it's code, clearly. They think they have that down pat with footie? They have no idea...

    EPM, will be off to check them out asap!

    Sharon, ow ow ow ow OW OW OW! (Did you get a medal for that?)

    NVG, you box-fresh chick, I can only say that I'm sure for some people natural childbirth is less painful. But since both my sons were big (I drank too much milk - or ate too much chocolate, more likely), I have to plump for c-section as the winner in terms of sitting down afterwards. (Having said that, straightforward natural child-birth does mean you are less likely to have post-birth complications - apparantly. Like the disclaimer?)

    Elsie, thankyou, and just keep drinking the raspberry leaf tea (yeuch!).

    Thanks, RC! And the mouse is lying low for the moment. I am running a campaign to starve them out, hoovering up crumbs the moment the kids drop them. Mind you, since these one's have tools, they probably have a back way into the fridge as well.

    Mud, well, isn't it lucky there might be someone around to help deal with them? Even if his contribution is only to pick up the phone and call Rentokill...

    BM, thankyou and as for my pelvic floor, did I mention Boy #1 was big? 'nuff said...

  12. LOL Iota's comment. Congrats on the publication too, well done lovely Potty. And Bush Mummy's term is fabulous. Hee hee.

  13. Love the front door/sun roof!! x


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