Thursday 26 November 2009

Today's definitions...

Today's definition of 'WTF Were You Thinking?'...

... is agreeing when, during a post-school play-date, your children ask to continue erecting the lego monstrosity they started and abandoned yesterday afternoon. (And which you had since hidden in the study in the hope they might forget all about it).

Today's definition of 'Diplomacy'... working out how best to deal with the discovery that your son's playdate visitor is a bit of a lego fiend and has issues with 'sharing' and 'taking turns' when it comes to deciding who gets to put which piece of useless moulded plastic where.

Today's definition of 'Relief'... when 2 out of 3 participating children decide after 15 minutes that lego is 'boring' and you see an end in sight to the horror, the horror...

Today's definition of 'Dashed Hopes'... when your younger - and more obstinate - son refuses to give up the ghost and insists on continuing to build the police car that comes as an essential part of the 'City Police Station' kit.

Today's defnition of 'Pain'

... is the sensation in your knees as you 'find' yet another tiny walkie-talkie / street sign / railing / choking hazard without using your hands.

Today's definition of 'Frustration'... when you spend 20 minutes looking for the one tiny piece of plastic shrapnel without which said police car cannot be completed.

Today's definition of 'A Sense of Achievement'... when you find the piece and can finish the damn thing.

Today's definition of 'Resignation'... when you look up from attaching said piece and find you are alone in the room, surrounded by a sea of brightly coloured plastic, and realise that no child has been involved in this project for at least a good 15 minutes.

Today's definition of 'Groundhog Day'... when you hand the finished police jeep to your delighted son, turn around to start the clear up operation, and hear the crash as the dratted thing falls to the floor and disintegrates into a million tiny pieces.


  1. That final one was beautiful. Horrible for you, but written down like that, beautiful to me. ;-)

  2. Karma - nightmare. We have two star wars peices waiting to be rebuilt. I refuse to do anymore!!

  3. My younger son, age 25, still has a huge container of Lego. If he doesn't find another job soon should
    I send him (and it) out to you, he won't mind living in Russia as he likes the cold ;-)

  4. ok this is madness. You are also living my daily life of lego hell. Complete with Lego city police, or whatever the hell it is called. Completely hilarious post. The funny thing is, sometimes I get so crazy that I just want to sit and do all the lego while the boys are asleep instead of painstakingly waiting for them to afix each tiny, miniscule piece. When oh wheh oh when will they be capable of building ALL the lego on their own???

  5. I used to love playing with Lego and couldn't wait for my son to bring it out so we could build things. I should say, when I could build things. It was kind of a tug of war as to who got to do what. I had Lego when I was a little girl and loved it. That's where it came from. My grandson has all the Lego now, but I don't know how crazy his mother is about it. I find it's best done by the dining room table.

  6. That last one is my life. I've kept the boys on Duplo so far but I feel it will all be changing at Christmas. Not looking forward to the lego pains.

  7. Mwa, not horrible, just - well, you read the post.

    MH, I would love to throw ALL lego into the waste disposal. But the thing is, they love it so much!

    Sharon, 'cold' as in -20degC? Really?

    Nicola, that's the scary thing, isn't it? When you get a thrill from finishing a model? WHAT HAS BECOME OF US????

    Irene, that is one of the advantages - it's cross generational, definitely.

    Brit, it's the tiny lights for the cars etc that are the worst bit. I wish you luck! (Of course you could always hold off on it and claim you don't want to have to transport it back to the UK come April? Buy time that way?)

  8. I'm telling you, that police station should be hidden well away from young boys' view.

  9. I can feel the pain of that lego right now!! I've knelt on a few pieces myself and boy, does it hurt. Amy hasn't played with lego for a good few years now, but I'm still finding it down the sofa and behind the bed head.

    CJ xx

  10. guess what will be our next project again??? :)

    I know the frustration... TB is a LEgo freak! :)

  11. I think my boys think the whole point of making a huge Lego tower is to knock it down again - usually to great cries of hilarity as the pieces spin towards the crevice under the sofa yet again.....

  12. Ah Lego. Designed to entertain children, and make mothers who accidentally tread on it in bare feet scream in pain.

  13. It could be worse, it could be Airfix.

    Glue is difficult to get out of hair.

  14. I hate lego! That's all I have to say on the subject. (And you know me - I can go one for quite a while when provoked!)

  15. Vic, I have reached the same conclusion (after spending 2 hours on it yesterday afternoon and STILL not finishing the damn thing!) myself.

    CJ, I think it's one of the great mysteries of life; where did the unexplained lego piece come from?

    Urbanvox, thanks for commenting and I feel your pain.

    NVG, I know; I think I may invest in a game of jenga and just set them loose on that instead.

    Liz, you got it. Maybe they should use that for an ad slogan.

    Solnusha - aha. I see a whole new level of torture ahead in a few years.

    EPM,you go on? Surely not... Green bean casserole, anyone?


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