Saturday, 20 December 2008

Christmas Cheer?

Not in my back-yard, thankyou very much...

Someone needs to tell the residents of South Kensington this is the season of brotherly love. In Boots yesterday two late middle-aged ladies behind me succumbed to Grumpy Old Women syndrome. One of them tried to queue barge and was - quite rightly - told by the other that she was there first. "I know that!" came the reply in a cut-glass English accent. "I've got eyes! I can see, you silly old fool!"

Really. This really happened.

Well, Lady #2 wasn't going to stand for this and replied frostily. "I am not an old fool. You are, trying to push in like that."

Lady #1 didn't know when to let up; "For God's-sake, I was just standing to the side. What's the world coming to when a person can't stand to the side of a queue? You stupid woman."

Lady #2 replied "It's people like you that make life so difficult. Stop being so aggressive!"

Lady #1: "Stupid cow!"

Lady #2: "For pity's sake! Stop it!"

At this point, even with my back to them, I could tell they were squaring up to each other, and could hear handbags being hefted, and zips being shut ready to transform them into lethal weapons. British stiff-upper lip and reserve notwithstanding, this was going too far. We were in Boots! I turned around, took a deep breath, and said to Lady #1: "I think... I think... you may be over-reacting. Just slightly."

"Over-reacting? OVER-REACTING! She started it! Didn't she? She started it. Over-reacting..." And Lady #1 - the original queue-barger - subsided into a simmering mass of rage. I turned back to the pharmacist who was handing over my prescription, who was looking at me - me - with something akin to pity and complete astonishment. And it was only at that point I realised the sheer stupidity of getting involved in an argument with two ladies who were queuing up to collect their medication. For god only knows what conditions...

I'm not sure I'm safe to be let out in public.


  1. You are a committed blogger - even putting yourself in the firing line of a LV handbag for the sake of your readers!

  2. Perhaps the fact that the pharmacist didn't intervene means that this is a common occurrence?

  3. Old ladies always try to get away with things, because they think they can because of their age. I am sure my own grandmother was like this and she was holier than a cow. I am glad you intervened for the sake of lady #2. She needed a bit of back up and lady #1 needed to be put in her place. I'm proud of you.

  4. Brave/mad but right. What a crazy moment. I can't believe they used the 'c' word. ;D

  5. Over-react. That's a big word you've got there.

  6. My God you are a brave woman PM. Fancy trying to intervene in a GOW bag-fight!

  7. Too funny. Yes, don't get involved. I liked the image of the zippers being zipped, ready to go into battle!

  8. I confess, I would only have been able to give looks of support to #2. I would never have spoken out like that - snd I have a big mouth at times.

  9. GM, that's me all over - just generous to a fault...

    WM, you know it probably does. What was I thinking?

    Thanks Irene. And I wouldn't call them 'old'. Especially because I will probably be that age in only 15 years or so...

    Jo, I know! Those poor bovine creatures. They never wanted to be dragged into this argument.

    Iota, you know, afterwards I did think it was a little inflammatory.

    Sharon, brave? No. Foolish? Definitely.

    Thames, if I'd waited any longer I'm sure I would have heard leather gloves being pulled on too.

    EPM, and you would have been sensible, not to say anything. Again, what was I thinking?

  10. That's really funny. Things are tense on this side of the pond and pre-christmas cheer is hard to find.

  11. SB, here too, it is pretty grim. One more reason to just lose myself in blogland...


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