Monday, 13 July 2009

Who's in charge here?

It's Day 4 (or thereabouts; I'm already losing the ability to reason and count above three) of the summer holidays, and my Boys - the little darlings - have begun to gang up on me.

They could at least have waited until Day 8.

Yesterday afternoon I was involved in some job or other (laundry, cooking, tidying, who knows? I've also lost the ability to remember what I did 5 minutes ago...), and could hear Boy #2 wailing inconsolably in the next room.

Now, Boy #2 does a good line in inconsolable wails, and pulls them out for everything from a nasty bump on the head to not being able to find his blanket, to not being tall enough to reach the book he wants. Bearing that in mind, and figuring that I had the whole summer to reach the stage where I would drop everything and rush to his aid at the first whimper, I decided to finish whatever it was I was doing (emptying the dishwasher? Putting away the shopping? It will come to me, I'm sure...) before going to check it out. Let them know who's boss, right? And besides, if it was really serious I was confident that Chief Tell-tale Boy #1 (more of which another time) would come in and find me.

5 minutes later I finished what I was doing and arrived at the scene of the crime. Boy #2 was sitting on the floor, distraught because he was unable to do his shoes up. Not life threatening, I think you'll agree.

I knelt down next to Boy #2 as his brother looked on, and not having a tissue about me, used my hand to wipe away his tears, comforting him as I did so. Then I gave him a cuddle for good measure. Looking at me sorrowfully with his big brown eyes, he grabbed my hand again and took it back up to his cheek.


Then, he blew his nose on it.

Through my subsequent protestations of how disgusting that was, I could hear his older brother in the background. "Good job, Boy #2! Well done!"

So much for showing them who's boss.

I'm toast.


  1. I simply love Boy #2, I don't know why, but he's my favorite, but don't let Boy #1 know that, because he's a good boy too. Boy#2 is just such a stand up comedian with excellent timing.

  2. That had me in stitches!

    You show 'em (not)!

    Reminds me of a quote I read somewhere by Nigella Lawson's first husband of how he had an enduring memory from when their kids were little, of Nigella wandering round in a dressing gown and wiping their children's noses with a sock.

  3. Perfect. You are, indeed, Toast.

    As am I. Not only have they discovered that by working together I'm in trouble, they also know that if they laugh when I am totally freaking I will either get the giggles or lose it so completely that I can't do anything. Toast indeed.

  4. He's such a funny boy! The summer holidays stretching out in front of you... oh dear...

  5. Too funny! I hope you wiped it on his hair or something.

  6. LOL - welcome to the summer hols. I'm gathering my line of defences ready to start on Friday.... ear-plugs, chablis and husband booked off work within two weeks. Hope it's a great holiday. Love the new potty picture by the way :-D

  7. It's alright Irene, your secret is safe with me!

    HMHB, what, doesn't everyone do that?

    BiB/FM, spread some marmalade on me please. And make sure it's proper butter. I can't abide that ersatz stuff!

    Elsie, he is funny. In retrospect, at least!

    Mwa, no, I didn't. Can't believe I didn't think of that, actually. Ah well, there's always next time (and I have no doubt there will be a next time...)

    Thanks Mrs A! And chablis - would you mind if we made it sauvignon blanc?

  8. Oh dear - why is it that boys are just that much more gross than girls?? I feel for you...really I do!!

  9. and have you found that when they come to you for a cuddle, snuggle up in your arms, become your adorable child all over again, then that is the moment they allow their bottoms totally free expression?

  10. Eew! Yuck! Good luck for the next few weeks...

  11. There is an award for you at mine

  12. Brilliant!
    I've got two boys. They're going to gang up on me too eventually. I'll be ready for them.. ah, who am I kidding?!

  13. Yesterday Jonathan was sharing some ice cream with his father. He would finish one bit, come over to me and wipe his hand on my shirt, go eat some more ice cream and then come back to me to wipe his hand on my shirt. It's nice to know I'm good enough to be a napkin, isn't it?

  14. Yes you are toast. Good luck. Only seven or so weeks to go?!

    -A Modern Mother

  15. Brilliant...and more effective at showing his disapproval than any words would have been.

  16. Brilliant! (well not for you, but for comic blogging goodness that was pure gold!)

  17. Well played Boy#2, well played.

  18. Is it worth focuing on the positive that it is lovely the 2 boys get on so well?

    Or is that made slightly harder by the snot?

  19. Too funny, and a little gross. I'm sure that my son will be doing to this before too long!

  20. MT, I don't know. But they most certainly are!

    Grit, as a rule, no. Except for when they're on the sofa before bed. Then, it's gas mask time.

    Rachel, I am going to need it!

    Thanks NM!

    SC, keep on dreaming is all I can say...(as in, I thought that once, too...)

    Lisa, yes, that's lovely. Although maybe you should convince him to share the love a little with his daddy?

    Modern, yes, 7. Thanks. For reminding me. Because I'd forgotten, obviously.

    Jen, I know it - and what's worse, so did he and his brother.

    Oh DF, you've got the hang of this mummy blogging stuff already!

    SPD, that's quite enough from you, thankyou very much...

    Mud, it is worth it. Especially when they are fighting tooth and nail 5 minutes later!

    Kate, thanks for visiting and yes, I'm sure he will. Or possibly - if you're really lucky - something even more disgusting.

  21. Ba hahaha!! The spud often puts his arms up for a cuddle, blows his nose on my shoulder and then asks to get down. In a hurry he just rubs his nose on my trousers, sometimes just as I am about to leave the house in full office meeting regalia


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