Saturday, 5 July 2008

Oops, I did it again.

Boy #1, sitting next to me at breakfast on Thursday morning, said in a delighted tone of voice "Mama! You're getting fatter and fatter!"

Needless to say, given the amount of food I haven't been eating and the amount of exercise I have been doing, I was somewhat less than delighted by this revelation. Grasping at straws, I replied: "Do you mean 'fatter', Boy #1, or do you mean 'thinner'?

Boy #1 realised he may have made a tactical error. "Thinner. I think."

"Because you know, 'fatter' means bigger, and 'thinner' means smaller."

Boy #1 glanced at my chest, clad in my most supportive sports bra and work-out vest top as I was on my way to the gym after dropping him and his brother at nursery. "Fatter. Definitely."

Out of the mouths of babes. But it was definitely the sports bra.

So, when I woke up this morning, I had even more incentive to do some exercise. Swimming today, I thought. The offending costume from last week had been binned and whilst I had taken Guinea Pig Mum's advice and checked out a swimsuit website, I hadn't actually been organised enough to make a purchase. Consequently, the only option swimsuit-wise was a Boden number that I inspected closely for fraying and perishing before leaving the house. Thankfully, it passed. No way was I going to put my merchandise on display again.

I thought.

Note to self; beach swimsuits, one piece or otherwise, are not designed for energetic front crawl in a pool. 1 1/2 lengths in, I realised that the pleasant feeling of freedom I was experiencing in the nipple area was because they were just that; free.

I completed the swim. But not without stopping at the end of each length and pulling up my suit at the expense of exposing a bikini line that could do with some attention. But hey - at least that was below the water line... You've got to compromise in this life, right?

And then, fully clad, no nipples on show, I went upstairs to gym reception and bought a new swimsuit. One fit for the job, that I had been planning on purchasing on-line. It was £6 more expensive to buy at the gym of course, but at least I now have it in my possession. And whilst paying, I tried - and failed - to ignore the tv screens behind the desk showing full views of the pool through the surveillance cameras...


  1. Hi Potty - I haven't had a chance to comment in awhile but just wanted to drop in and say fantastic job in keeping up with the exercise. By now you are probably close to it becoming an addiction that you cannot live without. First comes pain, then comes work-out addiction. It's great because that will keep you coming back for more - well that along with actual notices of weight loss from others - WHICH WILL COME!!!

  2. Oh man, cctv of the pool...have you seen yourself on You Tube yet??
    We have a huge mirror to pass as we leave the changing room to enter the pool, it does wonders to shatter your self confidence, but does make me hold my stomach in and stand up straight.

  3. I'm almost disappointed that you've bought a proper swimsuit; I'll miss these hysterical stories!

  4. very funny! of course (and i am not taking the piss) it was the sports bra. and your swimming antics are hilarious. speaking of swimming pools, and this is not really related to what you were saying, although does involve swimming pool embarrassment - when i was about 12 i went swimming with my friends, and my mum was in the spectator area - suddenly she stood up, shouted across at me 'ELSIE EEELLLSIE - woohoo, i have found your knickers! as she waved them in the air. mortified.

  5. They aren't under water cameras are they? Or is that just me being uber-paranoid?

    Mya x

  6. Hi SB, thanks for the encouragement. Still waiting for the positive addiction - and the notices of weight loss. Ah well, fingers crossed they'll be along shortly...

    Frog, you know I haven't checked... and probably won't.

    Hello WM, I wish I could promise the stories of embarrassment at the gym would end here - but something tells me there are plenty more waiting to show up!

    Hi Elsie; mums, honestly, they have no idea do they? And now we're mums, we obviously won't do anything like that to our children, will we? Will we?

    Mya, no they weren't. I think they keep those views of the pool for their office consoles.

  7. Dear potty, bigger is not always badder. Have reflected on how to present the justification for saying this, but can find no words that do not condemn me utterly.

  8. Oh sweetie! Everyone knows that fat turns into muscle and you 'bulk up'....

    and it's the cameras in the change room for 'security reasons' that you really need to be worried about...

  9. you have an award and a tag at my place!

    NMO x

  10. Oh, I'm delurking on this one, I have just done the same trawl through my swimsuits with pretty much the same results. Luckily they don't seem to do CCTV at the local lido but I'm sure it's only a matter of time...

  11. Potty - if you want to blitz yourself back to fitness then go along for a free trial class in the park ( it might look scary, but these guys know what they're doing and you *will* see the effects.
    (and you get to watch fit men in uniform doing press ups which provides added motivation!)

  12. You just have extra muscles and your son thinks your "fatter" Don't worry, my niece poked me in the belly one day, giggled and said "You have a fat belly, Aunt Lisa."

    Yeah. Thanks, kid.

    Wait until her metabolism slows down. Just wait... :-)

  13. Hello Ernest, thanks for the visit and I definitely agree that bigger is not always badder. Though I must say that when I say that, I'm normally talking about a chocolate brownie or similar...

    Good point Aims. Haven't spotted those cameras so far - long may that continue!

    NH Mum, thankyou, and I will be over asap!

    Hi Sparx, thanks for delurking. And I must say that I am very (VERY) thankful the pool I was in was inside. Daylight would not have been kind...

    Mud, really, what kind of woman do you think I am? (Which park did you say again? I may not join but simply go along for the show!)

    J's Mommy, kids, got to love them, right? Was talking with another (slimmer) mummy on Sunday saying how I was making all this effort because I wanted one last opportunity - even if I don't take it - to wear a bikini. "Oh, I just wear one" she said. "I don't care what other people think." Easy to say when you're an American size 4...

  14. Potty - Hyde Park and Battersea Park. Come along for a laugh - has to be good for the stomach muscles!

  15. What a delightfully funny post. Great to have the new swimsuit - worth the extra I'm sure. Is it fat that turns to muscle or the other way round? Never mind, you're gorgeous. M xx


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