Boy #1, sitting next to me at breakfast on Thursday morning, said in a delighted tone of voice "Mama! You're getting fatter and fatter!"
Needless to say, given the amount of food I haven't been eating and the amount of exercise I have been doing, I was somewhat less than delighted by this revelation. Grasping at straws, I replied: "Do you mean 'fatter', Boy #1, or do you mean 'thinner'?
Boy #1 realised he may have made a tactical error. "Thinner. I think."
"Because you know, 'fatter' means bigger, and 'thinner' means smaller."
Boy #1 glanced at my chest, clad in my most supportive sports bra and work-out vest top as I was on my way to the gym after dropping him and his brother at nursery. "Fatter. Definitely."
Out of the mouths of babes. But it was definitely the sports bra.
So, when I woke up this morning, I had even more incentive to do some exercise. Swimming today, I thought. The offending costume from last week had been binned and whilst I had taken Guinea Pig Mum's advice and checked out a swimsuit website, I hadn't actually been organised enough to make a purchase. Consequently, the only option swimsuit-wise was a Boden number that I inspected closely for fraying and perishing before leaving the house. Thankfully, it passed. No way was I going to put my merchandise on display again.
Note to self; beach swimsuits, one piece or otherwise, are not designed for energetic front crawl in a pool. 1 1/2 lengths in, I realised that the pleasant feeling of freedom I was experiencing in the nipple area was because they were just that; free.
I completed the swim. But not without stopping at the end of each length and pulling up my suit at the expense of exposing a bikini line that could do with some attention. But hey - at least that was below the water line... You've got to compromise in this life, right?
And then, fully clad, no nipples on show, I went upstairs to gym reception and bought a new swimsuit. One fit for the job, that I had been planning on purchasing on-line. It was £6 more expensive to buy at the gym of course, but at least I now have it in my possession. And whilst paying, I tried - and failed - to ignore the tv screens behind the desk showing full views of the pool through the surveillance cameras...