Can you tell me a fitting end to a day that has included the following?
A visit from the British Gas engineer because, no, the boiler still isn't fixed, which I discovered at 7.30am - with a window of approximately 3 minutes to make sure we would leave on time to get Boy #1 to school - when the water ran cold on me as I stood under our serving plate sized shower head. Our shower cubicle is not as big as you might expect given the size of the shower head - so there was no escape from the icy jet...
A visit from the painters (and subsequent depletion of our stocks of tea, coffee, sugar, milk and loo roll) to finally make good the damage done to our flat on two separate occasions when the numpty builders gutting the first floor flat in our building messed up. I mean; once, well it happens, but twice? And then to drag your feet over the insurance claim for 6 months? In any case, it's all being sorted now, thank heavens, but as a result the paint fumes mean that my Boys are sharing a room tonight and I can hear the whispering and giggling from here. Any minute now the 'I need the loo!' and 'I'm Itching!' will start, I can feel it...
Dealing with a cross and snotty 2 year old who's been kept off nursery for the second day running due to a nasty cold, and who, due to the afore-mentioned painting of the sitting room, is unable to ensconce himself on the sofa channel surfing for any mention of Chuuuuu-ggington (Chugachugachugachugachuggington!).
Dealing with same cross and snotty 2 year old who is also on antibiotics for a skin infection on his ankle, and who unsurprisingly hates the taste of his medicine with a vengeance, shouting "Don't bend me back, Mama, don't bend me back!" every time he sees me approach with a plastic syringe full of it. (The only way to administer it, I'm afraid, is to manhandle him over my lap and squirt the stuff in, ignoring the screaming and struggling, and waving a square of Green & Black's finest at him throughout as a post-dosage reward. The chocolate doesn't make it any easier to give him the medicine, but it does mean he forgives me for forcing him to take it a little more quickly...)
So, yes, a fitting end to the day?
Here's one; leaving your 2 year old safely strapped into the buggy on the pavement whilst you secure his older brother into his car seat, only to find as you are about to transfer your younger son to the car that he has been using his left hand to remove what he thought were leaves from the top of the rear tyre of your car.
Except, they aren't. Leaves, that is.
It's dog shxt.
And it's all over his hand - the very hand he's using to reach for his raisins....
So, if you were in Chelsea this afternoon at around 4pm, and passed a manic looking woman shouting "Stop! Don't move! Just... stop!" at a cute little boy in a buggy, whilst ferreting in a nappy bag and waving wet wipes all over the place - I guess I've just blown my cover...
Now, I've been tagged by Little Miss Rachel to do two things. The first is to pick up the nearest book, turn to page 56, and write out the 5th sentence. However - I'm in our office. The nearest books are either my husband's study books (think exciting titles like 'Fixed Income Securities' or 'Corporate Finance Theory') or his even scarier collection of 'bloke' books. By which I mean the finest works of Robert Ludlum, Bernard Cornwell, Wilbur Smith etc. All very well if you're stuck on holiday, you've finished your chick lit / educational biographies, and the hotel has no library, but really. This is a mummy blog. I am not going to inflict that on you. Not tonight, at any rate.
So, I'm sorry Rachel; no book excerpt, I'm afraid. (If you want to see a previous post detailing the full horror of my reading habits, check here... Sadly, they haven't particularly improved since then).
The second part of the tag though is to come up with 4 things I value, and 4 I don't.
Hmmm. Only 4?
I could go on for ever here, so rather than that I'm going to treat this as a stream of consciousness exercise and write down the first thing that comes to mind. Here they are then, in no particular order...
4 things I value:
Time off. (This is particularly pertinent to me right now after 2 days of dealing my normally gorgeous 2 year old who has currently been replaced by a willful snot monster...)
Sunshine. (As if - I live in a basement - in London)
Family. (And being a grown-up, and making it work)
Knowing what is the right thing - and doing it.
4 things I don't...
Reality tv (It usually isn't - real - and there's enough of what is in the news and all around me)
Conspicuous consumption (By which I mean 4 x 4's, £20 party bags for children, designer children clothes, £300 sunglasses, increasing your mortgage to buy a brand new car...)
Computer games (read a book, take a walk, get a life. Or, alternatively, live through your blog...)
Dog poo. Particularly today.