Subjects any dinner with friends you've known since you were 19 must cover... .
I have decided to petition the government to make this law after spending yesterday evening eating too many crisps, eating too much food and talking non-stop with Girlfriends A, B, and C. It made me feel so much better that I think it should be made available on prescription.
1. Long conversations with Girlfriend C's children about the latest cool tv programmes, complete with re-enactment of particular sketches they find amusing and, if you are lucky, some guitar practice thrown in for free. (This last is very important as it will remind you that under no circumstances - ever - should you allow your children to pick up a violin, since not only you but any guests you have will be treated to impromptu recitals. Believe me, a guitar is fine, but having played the violin for 7 years, I have only admiration for my parents that they persevered through the first - oh, I don't know - 5 years or so).
2. Gossip concerning people you don't know, will probably never meet, but who are key parts of two of your girlfriends' working lives. This is particularly entertaining when Girlfriend A absentmindedly lets slip something that she really shouldn't have, since it directly concerns the partner of a person working with Girlfriend B. Luckily Girlfriend B was already aware, but the comedy possibilities of asking Girlfriend A to 'keep a secret' now stretch off into a long and shining future.
3. The new haircut that Girlfriend A is sporting, taking at least 10 years off her and reminding you, B, and C, that short-short hair doesn't only have to be worn by Isabella Rossellini or Juliet Binoche to look good...
4. But that putting any weight on around your chin might not be a good idea with said haircut.
5. The recycled Dolce & Gabbana reversible mac that same Girlfriend is wearing, which whilst it is designer somehow manages to successfully channel the pink plastic mac she used to wear whilst we were all in college.
6. How we can't believe the amount of air-time and newsprint devoted to analysing the Brand / Ross debacle on Radio 2, and thank god for the US elections finally taking it off the front page so we have something else to talk about.
7. Spending the next 10 minutes talking about the Brand / Ross debacle on Radio 2.
8. Our children. Between us we have 8, ranging in age from 14 to 1. The list of topics provided by this are of course endless, spanning girlfriends, spots, Doctor Who, Irish Dancing, front trotting, school uniforms, broken arms, monkey bars, and potential additions to the total of 8.
9. Birth control.
10. Hair colour - or the lack of it.
11. The state of the economy. (But not for long - far too depressing)
12. 1950's tea sets and mis-matched dinner services.
13. Vintage clothes. Even though only one of us (Girlfriend B) can claim any real affinity with or possession of said items.
14. £260 parking fines (pah!) incurred in times of 'having to keep the receipts' and subsequent tight-lipped conversations with spouses. And how it could just as easily have been Husband who got into that mess since he gets far more tickets than I do, but simply hasn't been towed yet. (Thanks, girls, for the support on that one!)
15. Of how my boys share educational establishments with celebrities children, and how I am shamefully poor in getting to know their parents, having them over for dinner and including Girl A (particularly) in the invitation. We came to the conclusion that since Girl A is an avid reader of Hello, Grazia etc she should do my school run as she would be able to spot said celebrities far better than I. We also came to the conclusion that it's probably better for everybody if she doesn't...
So, that's the first 20 minutes of my evening covered. How did you spend US Election Night?