Thursday, 6 November 2008

Not for the squeamish

It's all gone a bit quiet on the potty training front, hasn't it? I bet you thought we'd just quietly forgotten all about it, put Boy #2 back in proper nappies, and decided to try again in the New Year? Well, amazingly, no.

So consider yourself warned. If you are of a delicate or non-child friendly disposition look away now, for I am about to share a story that probably only those in the thick of potty training hell will find funny...

This morning I put Boy #2 on the potty as usual, whilst supervising his older brother getting dressed. I wasn't really paying attention, when:

Boy #2: "Done. A. Wee!"

Normally this pronouncement heralds a tiny amount of liquid in the bottom of the throne, the sort of amount a mouse might produce. Still, we rejoice. It's better than nothing. Today, however, he had produced a respectable amount, so Boy #1 and I congratulated him heartily.

Me: "And are you ready to get off yet?"

Boy #2: "Notyet." (Boy #2 speaks either with full. stops. between. each. word, or in one long word - particularly when he says 'notyet'. Which is a lot, and particularly when you want him to hurry up with something...)

Me: "OK, let me know when you are and we'll get you dressed."

I turned my back and continued to check his older brother wasn't putting his leg through the wrong hole in his pants (as happened when he got dressed after swimming at school yesterday, resulting in a rather uncomfortable day for him). Suddenly:

Boy #2: "Doneapoo!!!!"

Me: "Really? Fantastic, Boy #2! Well done!"

Boy #2 stood up and turned round to inspect the evidence. There was an audible intake of breath, not surprisingly, as this was quite an impressive result. Then, he made the following pronouncement:

"That. a. scary. poo."

When I dropped him off at nursery an hour or so later I thought it best to tell them about the 'scary poo' incident, just in case he used the same label later on (like he's going to come up with the goods in the potty twice in one day. Uncharacteristically optimistic of me, I agree). In any case, on hearing this story, one of his class teachers asked him if he had had a scary poo. He looked at her. His expression clearly said, 'of course I did, you know that, I just heard mama tell you.' But what he actually said was:

"Yes. I. did. It. scary. It. had. a. tail."

I can't think where he gets his imagination from...


  1. do you know, i can see why pooing is a big deal for kids. all those years, neatly hidden away in the nappy. however, they take their cue from Mother's face as she undoes the nappy...the screwed up face of horror, the recoiling as you take the full putrid hit, the frenzied screeching, 'don't move! i said don't move!'. It's no wonder they are reluctant to leave their nappies behind.

    And then, they finally see what all the fuss has been about...and they are not disappointed. Poo truly is terrible.

    And it has a tail.

    Life doesn't get much worse.

    But well done to clever boy!!

  2. Pig, 'the frenzied screeching' - have you been standing outside Boy #2's bedroom window during nappy changes?

  3. It's no wonder some kids find potty training so hard, when they have imaginations like that.

    It's quite a common thing for kids (especially boys) to run and hide when they feel the need to poo. I thought it was some kind of caveman behaviour to do with not soiling the home, but now I wonder if they are genuinely scared.

  4. Phew. Not something I'm familiar with - I'll leave that up to much braver women for the time being!

    But that is a story (especially now it is written down) to haunt him when he is much bigger!

  5. Haha- lovely story.

    Poo does seem to be infinitely fascinating to little boys. Littleboy 1 always leaps off the loo excitedly to have a look, and has to comment on the size of his poos (big or small)and the number (he is obsessed with counting at the moment - hopefully this means he will good at maths, like Daddy, and not Mummy...)

  6. I keep telling you - I say those exact same words to The Man!

    He doesn't tell them at work - I don't think. Maybe I should ask him.

  7. "That. a. scary. poo" just brilliant.

    I once read a similar post about poo having hands. Hmm will see if I can find the link cause it will be right up your street!

  8. Found it, found it!

  9. I have to tell you honestly that I am still amazed by some of my own poo and find it quite something that my body has produced it. So I can sympathize with boy #2 very well. It always feels good to flush it down the toilet to destroy the evidence of such strange bodily products.

  10. Ahh! Love him...there'll be plenty more scary ones to come!

  11. Iota, good point. I just thought they wanted privacy rather than mum asking every few minutes; are you done yet?

    Mud, I live in hope the boys won't find this blog until they are parents themselves and will understand...

    NVG - wow. At least he's proud of them rather than scared.

    Aims, better not, I think. Better not to know.

    Tara, great link, thanks so much!

    Irene, well, yes.

    AM, I know. But he doesn't have to, not just yet!

  12. haha. My youngest always lets me know what animal it looks like. Yuckers...

  13. Hee heem that is adorable. Brings back memories of M lasy year who insisted she had pooed a turtle. She wouldn't let me get rid of it till I took a photo to show daddy. So yeah, we do poo here too. :D

  14. Sharing the news with all and sundry is such a joy. And, oh yes, I had one who didn't like to poo in the potty. My health visitor at the time said often boys get anxious as they think it might be a part of their penis coming off!!!! Imagination is a strange thing in the mind of a small boy.

    Our worst experiences during the training process came when, after procrastinating too long on the throne, rising brought the potty, and its contents, with the chubby little bottom. You can guess what came next! 'Uh-oh' indeed!

  15. hilarious. just hilarious. my kids are long past potties but i remember so well the looks of sheer horror that accompanied first poos. as in ''good grief, did that just fall out of me?" reminds me of blonde chicken cartoon - two chickens standing staring with big stupid hen eyes at a newly laid egg, ''what is THAT?!'' squeaks one in alarm. '' i have no idea'', says the other, quite mystified, ''but it just fell out of your bottom''. x

  16. Oh god Sam - is that what I have waiting for me? Wonderful.

    Jo, clearly (see previous comment) that IS what I have waiting.

    Sharon, we had that with Boy #1. Not - yet - with Boy #2. But I know it's just a matter of time...

    RM, yes, that just about sums up my son's face!

  17. Brilliant! Love it... My eldest was so scared of her poo that she would hold on until her nappy went on at night. Not a good strategy. But the thought of actually seeing it was too terrifying.

    My youngest is like Martini..

    Any place, any where, any time..

    BM x

  18. I'm laughing so dang hard my eyes are watering. Holy crap. That is funny.

    No pun intended on that "holy crap" thing, but dang. That is funny!

    You can tell I'm a mama starting to venture into these territories, can't you?

  19. J's mommy, when it gets bad, as you are on hands and knees cleaning up wee for the 4th time in a day, just whisper these comforting words to yourself: 'Blog fodder. Blog fodder. Blog fodder...'


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