Saturday, 11 April 2009

Of Easter Bunnies and conversation

Ladies, I would like to raise a toast. A toast to a shy, retiring individual who brings pleasure to many and relief (in his role as Fall Guy) to countless more. A creature who brings manna from heaven in one hand, and dispenses justice with the other. Who's rather large feet are at odds with his cute little nose, and who's only fault is to leave raisin-like droppings on my parents' lawn...

You know who I'm talking about, don't you?

Yes, let us thank the lord for the existence of the Easter Bunny. Because - and if you have kids, you know this - the Easter Bunny is not just for Easter Sunday, oh no. His shift starts earlier than that; pretty much as soon as those purty foil-wrapped eggs appear in the shops and make their existence known to small Boys.

This angel picks up where Father Christmas leaves off, in fact. Since around the beginning of March he's been checking that toys are tidied away, and books are put back on the shelves. He's been policing the brushing of teeth and the using of napkins at the table. He's quite strict in his own way; if he says 'just one story tonight' he means it. And woe betide the Boy who climbs out bed and runs woohooing round the flat when he's meant to be dropping off to sleep at the end of a long day. (Although admittedly it seems he took an early night yesterday and Boy #2's rampage passed under the radar).


Just in case you've been living in a cave for the last few days and haven't noticed the chocolate frenzy going on in shops, with grown women fighting over the last Barbie and Ben 10 licenced eggs, Easter Sunday is tomorrow. And the Easter Bunny will have come good on his side of the deal with the Boys - chocolate for good behaviour - by around midday.

What the hell am I going to use to incentivise them after that?

And in other news (and as a tribute to Millenium Housewife who I really hope doesn't mind):

Things I have said to Boy #2 today...

Let's go and use the loo.
No, not me, you.
OK, I will too.
But I just sat down!
OK, let me just... Right, you go now.
Do you need to sit that far back?
Doesn't it hurt your legs to sit like that?
But if you sit that far back you'll wee on the...
OK, off you get.
Yes, I know that your bottom is wet. That's because you sat so far back.
And don't stand there, you'll get your socks wet too...
Take them off, then.
Now, are you finished?
Completely finished?
Come over here and pull up your trousers then.
Off you go.
What do you mean you need a poo too?
What do you mean 'it's too late?'
No, don't tell me. I know what 'too late' means.


  1. That's an interesting conversation you had with boy #2. It was rather futile, but interesting anyway. I hope you don't have too many more of them, because they sound rather frustrating, what with wet bums and socks and pooped in pants. Life is no fun if you're little kid does not cooperate well. Even with the threat of the Easter Bunny hanging over his poor little head.

  2. Oooooooo! My mother in law sent some lovely dove Truffle eggs for Easter, think I'll have one.

  3. God I'm so glad I'm past that stage. Now it's usually - "did you flush?" And that's to the teenage son!

  4. Yep, Easter Bunny has been a threat in our house since Christmas. He came today though, so what's next? Ah, I know, her birthday. Cruel mummy, cruel mummy!

  5. Loved the conversation. One day you'll look back and think "I wish I still had conversations like that"...

  6. Is it too early to incentivise with Christmas again? Perhaps we could suggest moving Easter to around August time, so the bribery can be more evenly spaced out.

  7. Irene, I think I just have to be more on the ball...

    RB, hope you enjoyed the eggs!

    EPM, no, stop, don't tell me any more...(I want to leave the future where it is...)

    WM, sadly Boy 2's birthday is AFTER next Christmas, so no go there...

    Iota, I know. Probably sooner than I imagine.

    More Than, I'll sign that petition - definitely!


Go on - you know you want to...