Observation Post

First off, sorry to all who have have commented and to whom I haven't replied directly; internet time is limited, as I'm sure you'll understand. Especially when two small boys and a husband are currently having a nap and I don't know how long that will last...

And now, for your reading pleasure, here are a few random observations I have made whilst at this hotel...


Food

Our beach-side hotel has a buffet. This spells Disaster for Diets. You know how it is, you walk up there with the best intentions; 'Just a small salad, I think, and then maybe some grilled chicken with roasted vegetables for main course. Absolutely no pudding. And water only. Beer is so bloating and my swimsuit isn't getting any looser.'

But here's how it works. You reach the buffet. OK, you put the lettuce leaf on your plate. Add some blameless tomato, and some innocent cucumber. Maybe just a little of that nice egyptian white cheese. And that beetroot salad looks good. Mayo? Gosh, no. But some potato salad would be good. And dressing, well olive oil never hurt anyone. And that flat-bread is freshly made. I mean, how often do you get the chance to have freshly made flat bread? And butter - it would be rude not to. Right, let's just heave this back to the table....

Gosh, I'm full.

Well, maybe just a little plate of noodles. With some shrimp. And dip. And roasted veg, for the vitamins. And a beer would be lovely and refreshing.

Pudding? Well, I really shouldn't... But look! They have that delicious milk pudding. And some very nice looking Egyptian sweetmeats - I don't get those at home of course because of all the nuts and sesame... Maybe some halva? And that baklava-looking thingy - better try that...

See what I mean? Disaster for Diets, on a plate.


National Traits

Next up, I don't know about you but I always thought that myth about the Germans sneaking out at the crack of dawn to reserve their preferred sun-loungers by the pool was just that: a myth. Not here, it ain't. And the really scary thing is what happens to you when you realise that. Suddenly, you want to do it too! Of course, I haven't. But I must admit to chivvying the boys up just a little over breakfast to make sure we don't get forced out... Oh, the shame.

I won't of course go into detail about the Brits and their national traits. You know them. Though participating wildly in my next point could not be said to be one of them.


Activities

There are 'activities' in this hotel. One of them is Aqua Fit every morning at 11.30 in the main pool. We've not participated, but it makes for excellent viewing. And two things have occurred to me. First, do the people doing this really imagine that 25 minutes of splashing (and believe me, that is all it is) about is really going to have any effect on their holiday equivalent of a full english? There's an (unheated) exercise pool 20 yards away that would have far more impact on their holiday tummy. Though I have to say, it is jolly cold in there. And more than a bit lonely.

And my second question is, am I the only one who suspects the jolly rep leading the aqua fit to be a bit of a fraud? I'm sure he's no more qualified to do this than I am (which is not at all), and I imagine him rolling about on the phone to his mates, saying "And then I got them to wiggle their bottoms in the air and splash their hands whilst shouting in Egyptian. They thought it was '10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 -5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1!' Of course, what I really got them to say was 'I like to take it up the behind!' And can you believe it, they baksheeshed me for the pleasure! Hahahahahaha!"

Although of course it could just be that I have a diseased imagination...