Sunday, 5 April 2009

Observation Post

First off, sorry to all who have have commented and to whom I haven't replied directly; internet time is limited, as I'm sure you'll understand. Especially when two small boys and a husband are currently having a nap and I don't know how long that will last...

And now, for your reading pleasure, here are a few random observations I have made whilst at this hotel...


Our beach-side hotel has a buffet. This spells Disaster for Diets. You know how it is, you walk up there with the best intentions; 'Just a small salad, I think, and then maybe some grilled chicken with roasted vegetables for main course. Absolutely no pudding. And water only. Beer is so bloating and my swimsuit isn't getting any looser.'

But here's how it works. You reach the buffet. OK, you put the lettuce leaf on your plate. Add some blameless tomato, and some innocent cucumber. Maybe just a little of that nice egyptian white cheese. And that beetroot salad looks good. Mayo? Gosh, no. But some potato salad would be good. And dressing, well olive oil never hurt anyone. And that flat-bread is freshly made. I mean, how often do you get the chance to have freshly made flat bread? And butter - it would be rude not to. Right, let's just heave this back to the table....

Gosh, I'm full.

Well, maybe just a little plate of noodles. With some shrimp. And dip. And roasted veg, for the vitamins. And a beer would be lovely and refreshing.

Pudding? Well, I really shouldn't... But look! They have that delicious milk pudding. And some very nice looking Egyptian sweetmeats - I don't get those at home of course because of all the nuts and sesame... Maybe some halva? And that baklava-looking thingy - better try that...

See what I mean? Disaster for Diets, on a plate.

National Traits

Next up, I don't know about you but I always thought that myth about the Germans sneaking out at the crack of dawn to reserve their preferred sun-loungers by the pool was just that: a myth. Not here, it ain't. And the really scary thing is what happens to you when you realise that. Suddenly, you want to do it too! Of course, I haven't. But I must admit to chivvying the boys up just a little over breakfast to make sure we don't get forced out... Oh, the shame.

I won't of course go into detail about the Brits and their national traits. You know them. Though participating wildly in my next point could not be said to be one of them.


There are 'activities' in this hotel. One of them is Aqua Fit every morning at 11.30 in the main pool. We've not participated, but it makes for excellent viewing. And two things have occurred to me. First, do the people doing this really imagine that 25 minutes of splashing (and believe me, that is all it is) about is really going to have any effect on their holiday equivalent of a full english? There's an (unheated) exercise pool 20 yards away that would have far more impact on their holiday tummy. Though I have to say, it is jolly cold in there. And more than a bit lonely.

And my second question is, am I the only one who suspects the jolly rep leading the aqua fit to be a bit of a fraud? I'm sure he's no more qualified to do this than I am (which is not at all), and I imagine him rolling about on the phone to his mates, saying "And then I got them to wiggle their bottoms in the air and splash their hands whilst shouting in Egyptian. They thought it was '10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 -5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1!' Of course, what I really got them to say was 'I like to take it up the behind!' And can you believe it, they baksheeshed me for the pleasure! Hahahahahaha!"

Although of course it could just be that I have a diseased imagination...


  1. Of course you have to eat the baklava, all those nuts protect from zinc deficiency and honey aids the immune system - done deal. Any other excuses needed just ask, I am the master of the specious apologia ! (and slightly ashamed of it)

  2. Well, PM, you are on a vacation and I don't think you are supposed too diet while on a vacation. I think you're supposed to enjoy every minute of your stay and that includes mealtimes, especially mealtimes, for goodness sake. Worry about the added pounds when you get home, but in the meantime enjoy! All that wonderful food is part of the deal and is not going to be available to you when you get home again. I am sure your husband is ladling the food on his plate in heaps. Do as he does and have not a care.

  3. Glad you are having a lovely time and go for it on the food front girl.. you are on hols for goodness sake.. diet later!

    Are you in Sharm el Sheikh perchance? My mother is just back from there and spoke of a very similar Aquafit class..

    BM x

  4. Glad you are having a lovely time and go for it on the food front girl.. you are on hols for goodness sake.. diet later!

    Are you in Sharm el Sheikh perchance? My mother is just back from there and spoke of a very similar Aquafit class..

    BM x

  5. Ooh you're making me hungry. Baklava and halva - haven't had that for a while. Am only a teensy bit jealous!

  6. There's no hope of eating "sensibly" when you are on any sort of holiday- resort, road trip, even cycling 500km (don't I know it), so just give in and ENJOY.

  7. I love reading about your holiday adventures. Keep the laughs coming!

  8. sheesh! and there was me feeling bad that you didn't go skiing. then i look away for five minutes and you're living it large, big styley in an Egyptian hotel!

    i have a simple antidote to diet buffet hell. a kaftan and/or a sarong (depending on how confident you are about your tits). et voila, smear yourself in baklava and go wild!


  9. I think you should be proud of getting your five a day in at the salad bar, surely a healthy holiday?

  10. TR - well, thankyou! Now I know who to call in to justify that next square of dark chocolate...

    Irene, you're right, as ever. Though my waistband is somewhat tighter than when we left!

    BM, no, not Sharm el Sheikh - though the boys were convinced it was, what with the promotion running on Capital just before we left! We were actually in El Gouna, north of Hurghada...

    MT, thanks for the visit and the comments. And in reality, not too much baklava and no halva (I might sneak the odd nut in in front of the boys but halva - with Boy #1's sesama allergy - would be pushing it too far...)

    Tracey, you are a wise woman - and I did just as you said!

    RB, anything to oblige!

    Pig, well, no need to ask what you get up to in your local turkish deli then?

    MH, I do try. It's the covering it in dressing and sneaking snickers out of the mini bar that do for me. And, oh yes, the side portions of fries...


Go on - you know you want to...