Boy #1 is practising for his Christmas play.
Whilst Christian in ethos, his school has made some concession to the vast array of nationalities (around 52 at the last count, I'm told) and the no doubt corresponding number of religious affilitions of the pupils attending, and has stopped short of calling it an out and out 'nativity'.
I don't know who they think they are kidding, however. There's a Mary, a Joseph, an angelic host, some shepherds, and, oh yes, some waiters - of course. Boy #1 is one of them. Quite how they fit in, I'm not sure, but bearing in mind the following conversation anything is possible.
Boy #1: "And we've been practising the songs. And the dancing."
Me: "There's going to be dancing?"
Boy #1: "Oh yes, with jumping, and back trotting, and front trotting (of course). And the Three Kings, who don't say much but roll around on the stage (here he demonstrates very efficiently), and wobble around a bit."
Me: "Sounds great."
Boy #1: "And they're going to be dressed as alvers."
Boy #1: "Yes, Alvers."
Me: "What are alvers?" (Thinking, does he mean elvers? And why would they dress the 3 kings as baby eels?)
Boy #1: "With the hair. You know. Alvers. The King."
Suddenly, it dawned on me. Who else would the 3 Kings be dressed as in a modern day version of a nativity play? It could only be The King himself.
I just can't wait. (And is anyone else thinking of the nativity play in 'Love, Actually'?)