Tuesday, 9 February 2010

More stuff and nonsense

I think the Pottski family may be getting themselves a reputation with the workmen who service the houses in our compound. This morning when our friendly English-speaking manager called to inform me that after only 1 day our washing machine is now fixed, and that we can have it back tomorrow, I had to break the news to her that I had been going to call her anyway to ask if someone could come out to sort out the plug which was stuck in our bath.

Believe me when I say that I really hadn't wanted to stick my head above the parapet on this one, but the thought of putting the Boys in the shower (in the absence of useable bath) this evening and the carnage and mayhem that would ensue (if social services exist in Russia I have no doubt our neighbours would have been looking up the number on hearing the shrieks that would have been issuing from the shower-room) drove me to it.

I'm not sure that she properly understood what I was telling her however, because shortly after we spoke, yesterday's Mild-Mannered Foreman and 2 of the same workment arrived to deal with the hefty problem of removing the plug from the plug-hole. Yet again, I found myself listening in, in the hope I might understand some of what they were saying. Yet again, my fledgeling vocabularly let me down ('lemon', 'white bread' and 'fork' not featuring in their conversation apparantly), so I was forced to imagine what they were saying...

Mild-Mannered Foreman (looking, I may say, a little less mild-mannered this time): Heavy sigh. "OK. What's she managed to do this time? Let's get it over with."

Workman #1: "You're joking, right? We've been called out here to sort out this piece of crap bath plug? What are they doing using it in the first place, I'ld like to know. Has nobody pointed out the shower over the top of the bath?"

Workman #2: "Don't be silly, comrade. They're western imperialists, remember? Why take an economical shower when a bath using 5 times as much water will do? Somebody pass me a bucket, I need to get rid of some of it so I can sort it out."

Workman #1: "Again with the orders! Do it yourself. I'm going to crack the window so I can have a quick cigarette..."

Mild-Mannered Foreman; "How many times, Ivan? No smoking in the imperialists... I mean client's houses. Never mind that your coat smells enough to stink out the entire upstairs..."

Silence and wheezing...

Workman #2: "Somebody pass me the - oh, don't worry, I'll do it myself. There we go. Sorted. But let's keep talking a bit longer so we can make it sound like a tricky job that really needed the three of us. She's western. She'll never know. And get the manager to tell the silly cow that bathing every day is unhealthy."

Workman #1: "They'll never believe you. Just like that police officer didn't believe me that the vodka in my glove compartment was to use as screen-wash. Do you think her mascara suits, me, by the way? What? Don't look at me like that - we're going already? I just wanted to check out her eyeliner..."

Like I said; I really need to learn this language...


  1. Bathing every day is only unhealthy for children.

  2. I really think you just need to give up on the Russian lessons and go with your own interpretations. Far more entertaining.

  3. I second Home Office Mum, I'm digging your translations waaaaaay more then what in reality is probably just a bunch of workmen yapping about the premier league. :)

  4. White bread, lemons and forks....Is your Russian class also a cookery course?

  5. THREE workmen to sort out a dodgy bath plug? Really?!!

  6. So how many to change a lightbulb then?

    LCM x

  7. have actually just spat tea over my keyboard... please tell me that comrade no.2 really looked like he was wearing mascara when he left?
    And I'd say your Russian lessons are coming along perfectly - lemons, white bread and forks; there's not may situations where one of those wouldn't help enormously, I'm sure.

  8. This is brill. I do feel for you and as far as learning Russian goes don't life will become far too mundane!

  9. Ok Having a slight technical problem with blogger can youo send your workmen over???!!!

  10. I think you were probably pretty accurate in your translation actually. :-)

  11. Mwa, have you been talking to Boy #1?

    HOM, the thought has crossed my mine.

    MD, you're right - although it might help on the odd occassion.

    NVG, you know, it may be. Keep your eyes peeled here for a recipe for borscht. Or maybe I'll just ask Pig to create one?

    Sharon, yes, really. It's called job creation...

    LCM, 2 - I do know that, as it happens; we're not allowed to change them if you can believe that. Hence my conclusion about job creation.

    Laura, I hope your keyboard has recovered? Leave it a while to dry out and I'm sure the 'q' will work again eventually.

    Tattie, that will take 3 of them. I also know this because we had a problem with our wireless router... (I think I feel an idea for a post germinating)

    Lisa, sadly I think you're right.


Go on - you know you want to...