Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Back to Reality...

...oops, there goes Clarity (yes, yes, I KNOW it's supposed to be 'gravity' but 'clarity' is more relevant to the following post).

Pulling together a steady stream of conscious thought is tricky right now. It's been a busy couple of days (more of which later), so instead of a thoughtful and insightful post, I'm afraid instead I offer you a couple of snapshots from my week spent 24/7 - otherwise known as half-term 'holiday' - with my boys. Actually, whilst we're at it, I would like to know who originally called the half term break a 'holiday'? Because, whilst I love my sons, having them both at home all day ever day is not particularly holiday-like for me...


Snapshot 1

The Boys were playing with their cousin. Boy #2 - as the youngest and therefore the bossiest of the three - had appointed himself in charge. He was a doctor. Of course. After prodding his older (male) cousin in the nipples a few times - with what I am reliably informed were ice-cold fingers - and tapping away on his imaginery key board to investigate his findings, he decided to operate. At which point, older cousin decided he had had enough, and announced that he - the patient - had died.

My 3 year old son's response to this shocking news?

"Quick! Hide the body!!"

Whatever you do, don't tell the GMC.

Snapshot 2

Boy #2 was playing taxi drivers in the parking spot outside my parent's house, sitting in my car with the windows open. My father walked past. Boy #2 poked his head out of the window and asked my father - very reasonably, I thought - if he wanted a ride to Egypt. Very cheap, only 2p, he added. No thanks, responded my father. I have to mow the lawn.

The taxi driver was not impressed by this shoddy prioritising. Leaning out of the car window again, he shouted out at his disappearing fare "All right, mate. It's your choice..."

And I had thought his older brother was the comedian...


  1. Oh God, that is so funny! I curled up laughing at the 'alright mate, your choice' comment. I tried to imagine my 3 yr old in the same situation but his comedic talents aren't quite so advanced as yet.

    And you're right. Half Term 'holiday'??? What a contradiction of terms.

  2. Will you shut up about the nipples...? (Only joking.)

    Love the taxi driver comment. Has he perfected the insufficient-tip glower?

  3. That's priceless, you nearly made me cry at work!- with laughter of course :D

  4. Nicola, I have NO idea where he got that - though Husband has his suspicions about the Crocodile Hunter DVD they've watched recently...

    Aims, hello!

    Iota, sorry, it's Boy #2 who has the fascination, not me... And the tip glower is more of a 'throwing himself on the floor' tantrum, but I can see that eventually there will be a curl of the lip instead. Can't wait.

    Hi Tracey - and thanks!

    Hello Claire, thanks for visiting and commenting - and I hope you didn't spill tea into your keyboard?

  5. Hehehe so funny! Especially the comment to your Dad! x

  6. Your boys are brilliant, I swear. Just so funny! (And by brilliant I mean the British "That's Brilliant!" ala Gordon Ramsey or...that other British guy I see on BBC America Because you know how great I am at faking a British accent ...er...in writing. So, it's been a long day here.....)

  7. I think I'm in love with Boy #2.

  8. CB, yes - my dad has yet to get over that. I think he'll be chortling about it until - oh, the next comment Boy #2 makes, probably.

    Lisa, well if you watch BBC America then you probably have the accent off-pat by now. Although I don't swear as much as GR. Not all the time, anyway.

    Irene, I KNOW I am...

  9. It is stories like this that remind me not to simply be afraid of having children, there will be laughs as well!


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