Yet more despatches...

>> Thursday, 4 September 2008

So. News from the Potty Home Front (for which read; no real news):

1. Boy #2 is continuing his campaign of civil disobedience. The Naughty Chair saw active duty again this evening - before he even sat down at the table for dinner - as a result of an unfortunate incident involving the Polar Express being hurled from a great height as I carried him, protesting at the unfairness of being forced to eat, to the table. There were no reported injuries on board, but the engine had to be recoupled to the carriages in a tricky and complicated operation completed in record time whilst he sulked on the NC around the corner (i.e. 2 minutes). There is some improvement, however; today we managed to get the total time taken for him to complete an entire 2 minute session on the chair down from 20 to 10 minutes.

2. Boy #1 is still kicking up a stink about the 'Big School' Experiment. I foolishly thought there was reason for hope and celebration yesterday when we managed to complete the drop-off without a single tear, but this morning he remembered that he was supposed to be unhappy about it and laid on the full works, even going so far as clutching at my coat sleeve as I left. I'm struggling to find anything amusing to write about it, actually.

3. Planning for Boy #1's birthday party this weekend continues apace. Out of the 26 invitees, 20 have said yes, 4 have issued regretful refusals, and 2 still haven't got back to me. Which, I have to say, is a bit off. I mean, I've heard of keeping your options open, but surely it's a simple yes or no to a couple of hour's free entertainment for your 4 year old on a Saturday? If we had been at the school longer than a week, I would stake out the classroom and try to apprehend the relevant parents, but seeing as I don't know who they are, and that that is a ridiculously controlling and anal thing to do, I'll just assume they are accepting...

That leaves only one thing to deal with; The Smartie Situation. Can you believe, when I went to the supermarket this morning to buy ingredients for the birthday cake(s), there were none to be found? I mean, what's a Smartie-covered chocolate cake without the Smarties? I'm hoping to track some down tomorrow - otherwise there could be riots in South Ken this weekend with disgruntled 4 and 5 year olds rampaging through the streets demanding their coloured candy... And oh yes, I remembered to buy forks. (See last year's post on birthday parties to find out why...) .

And before you ask, would I be so foolish as to think I can offset the turmoil created by the start of term by creating a Perfect Party, where my little angel can bond with his new classmates and put the nerves of the last few days behind him? Of course not...

And now I have to sleep. The new school term is just over one week old, and already I'm exhausted and full of admiration for all the mummies who have done this before me without losing their mind, sense of humour, and natural hair colouring. And without eating their own body weight in Green & Blacks or Krispy Kremes...


Kitschen Pink 4 September 2008 at 22:23  

who says we didn't eat our own body weight in Green and Blacks, or anything else I could lay my hands on after such trauma!
Non-RSVP ers are annoying. My best was "well we might be invited somewhere else but if we're not we'll come to yours". I don't think there's a polite way to withdraw an invitation but I was tempted to try! t.x

Iota 5 September 2008 at 02:25  

Leaving an unhappy child at school ranks as the all-time lowest of the low school mother experiences. Anything worse would have to involve a casualty department or operating theatre. All I can say is, if you get through this, the rest will be a piece of cake (smartie-covered or no). "If"? Did I say "If"? Oops, sorry. I mean "When" of course.

Mom/Mum 5 September 2008 at 05:20  

Apologies PM, but a big parcel arrived today from England and I think all your Smarties are currently languishing in my Tupperware marked, 'MUMMY'S UK STASH. DO NOT TOUCH!'

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk 5 September 2008 at 09:47  

I know exactly what you're going through. I have my daughter's 3rd birthday party tomorrow with six of her friends coming to our house. Of course they're also bringing their older brothers and sisters, so there will be 12 hyped up children in my house and my plan to have them racing around the garden has gone out of the window now it hasn't stopped raining for four days. Gah!

overtly trite 5 September 2008 at 17:07  

your lucky only 2 haven't RSVP'd yet that is a never ending battle each birthday season! us rude Americans I suppose...

Potty Mummy 5 September 2008 at 17:20  

KP - so glad to learn that it isn't just me! And love the RSVP story...

When, Iota, please, when... (Actually today's drop-off was fine. Long may it continue - but I'm not holding my breath!)

M/M - I KNEW it!

Tara, you and me both, though at least ours isn't at home. Having said that, the plan was to have them outside collecting mini-beasts and pond-dipping. I think the wellington boots might come in handy for more than the pond...

OV - thanks for the visit and for commenting, and as for the RSVP thing, I've decided to assume they are coming. Better too many sandwiches than too few, right? (And as Nigella Lawson once said, I never knowingly under-cater...)

Pig in the Kitchen 5 September 2008 at 17:52  

'...I'm exhausted and full of admiration for all the mummies who have done this before me without losing their mind, sense of humour, and natural hair colouring. And without eating their own body weight in Green & Blacks or Krispy Kremes...' but Potty M, that is the ONLY way we got through it!!! It is a harsh and brutal shock to the system, a bewildering onslaught where you suddenly realise that not all Mummies are like you, and in fact there are an AWFUL lot of freaks out there on the school run, and yet they are STILL allowed to have children!!!!! oopps, was that a mildly fascist viewpoint that escaped me? sorry.

It's truly miserable having to leave a sobbing child. On the first day of term this year, 10 mins before school run I found my big, bold Year 1 boy of nearly six cuddling a big fluffy monkey on his bed crying. 'i want to take monkey'. Maternal hearts are made to break aren't they?

There is no such thing as the perfect party; one woman's smarties are another woman's evil e-numbered devil spawn. Resolve NOW to always give your child the party you and he want, and a one-fingered salute to the carrot stick, no-refined-sugar, 'oh-my-Jolyon-simply-LOVES-Thai-green- curry' brigade.

wow. was I ranting? I hope you have a fabulous party PottyM, and never misunderestimate (love George Bush)the trauma of leaving small children at school!

ps. would just like to clarify that we DO eat carrot sticks, but in moderation, and as part of a healthy, occasionally junk-peppered diet.

aims 5 September 2008 at 18:17  

What are green and blacks?

And no smarties! I'd be screaming through the streets myself! (although I can't eat them anymore they have flour in them - dammit!)

Potty Mummy 5 September 2008 at 22:33  

Hi Pig, thanks for the heartening words, and will remember them in my times of need. As for the party, well we are just about ready - or as ready as we're going to get at 10.30pm the night before - and the smarties have been sourced, at last. Hallelujah! Funnily enough, I don't seem to have included any carrot sticks in the dinosaur lunch boxes though... (time enough for healthy food on Sunday). Oh, and feel free to rant here any time you like!

Aims, 'what are Green & Blacks?' Need you ask? It's a brand of chocolate. But not just any old chocolate. Delicious, organic, fairtrade, premium chocolate... Mmmmmm. Let's just say that once you try it, Cadburys never seems the same again.

aims 7 September 2008 at 18:49  

Hey PM! I was in a drugstore yesterday where they have all kinds of imported stuff and guess what I found! Yup! Green and Blacks. I bought a bar and have yet to taste it...I know - I'm torturing myself...but I'll let you know when I do!

Potty Mummy 7 September 2008 at 21:20  

Aims, I so hope you enjoy it. Otherwise you will just doubt EVERYTHING I say from now on. So, no pressure then...

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