Friday, 26 September 2008

Future shock

You know how in my last post I said I wouldn't be picking my son up from school on foot again? Well, the best laid plans, and all that...

We did it slightly differently today, though. Instead of walking to the nearest park as yesterday, where I had handily parked the car for the remainder of the trip home, this afternoon we were forced to walk the entire way. It's a fair step: the way there, without Boy #1 (but with his brother in the buggy) took all of 25 minutes. That's quite a distance when you're 5 and you've had a long week at school.

Anticipating this I had bought each of the boys (and their mummy too, of course), a decent-sized cookie to take the edge off the first 10 minutes or so. "It's for extra energy" I told them. "What, the raisins too?" asked my eldest poppet, curling his lip at the thought that he might unwittingly eat something wholesome. "Yes, the raisins too. Try them, you never know, you might like them."

Shock number 1: he did like them! Not a lot, it has to be said, but they were eaten without further complaint. Which only goes to show how tired he must have been feeling at that point: his resistance was clearly low...

The subsequent sugar hit fuelled us along the pavement for a while, with only a few pauses for complaining and fretting that the pavements weren't smooth enough for his scooter to coast on at optimum speed, but eventually, as I had known it would, the energy rush ran out. Our pace became slower and slower. Comments about how far we'd come and how he couldn't go any further increased in frequency. It didn't help that Boy #2 was still munching on his cookie at this point, sitting in his buggy like a little pasha, and taunting his brother with the remains of his treat. As we were on the home straight by this time though, I was hopeful we would all make it back in one piece.

Suddenly, we ground to a halt. "What is it, Boy #1?" I asked in my sweetest and most reasonable voice (aren't blogs great for rewriting the past?). "Come along, we're nearly home!" Amazingly, this was in fact true. So near home that we were by the girls prep school around the corner from our flat. It appeared that it was the sound from the playground (it was break) that had stopped my exhausted son in his tracks. "What's that?" he asked. "A girl's school." "Oh."

Slowly, he began to move again. As we drew level with the school gates, his gaze became fixed on the girls inside. So fixed, in fact, that as he continued walking and pushing his scooter, not watching where he was going, he ran into the gate post...

Far from being perturbed by this turn of events, however, Boy #1 made the best of having found himself an audience. He got back on his scooter, crouched low over the handle bars, literally growled (think Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones, revving the engine of his flash car as he picks her up for their 'mini-break'), and sped off down the street, leaving his admiring audience gasping at his derring-do.

He's 5. There may be trouble ahead...

Still, I shouldn't complain. At least that flash of dash got us home.


  1. When your blog is made into a film, this is going to be a great scene.

  2. Not sure how that's going to work in the opposite direction. Perhaps a word with the headmistress about the possibilities of co-ed! t.x

  3. oh don't underestimate when it starts! My dearest eldest girl is having hormone rushes that are affecting her body (ok, so her boobs are starting to grow), she's young enough to still feel excited and we all chat about her boobs (sometimes, not at every meal you understand). I'm a bit bemused by this early hormonal thing (she's not yet in double figures) and the other day i exclaimed, 'god! you really are getting boobs!'
    'am I?' she exclaimed delightedly
    'hold on' interjected son...'you've got to look from the side', he then crouched down low, eye'd her up from the side and declared,
    'yep, you're getting boobs'.

    Who has taught him this manly behaviour?????!!!

    Beware boys, girls and testosterone. I think it's a rocky path ahead.

  4. It's started, probably 10 years before you thought it would... MH

  5. Any tips for getting a girl to get a move on? The walk from the infants to the staff car park at my school should be 5 mins - not with daughter in tow!

  6. Ha ha! Littleboy 1 does exactly the same on his scooter. He shows off to anyone who's watching, but especially when there are cute, small blonde little girls in the vicinity.....

  7. What a star! Certain gender specific behaviours really are hard wired into the brain. Has he started trying wheelies on the pavement outside the school gate yet?

  8. PM - he is clearly a total dood.. well done.

    BM x

  9. i thoughtyou were going to finish with "just like his daddy"!
    So is he just like his mummy then I wonder . . .

  10. Iota - are you offering to write the screenplay?

    KP, luckily Boy #1's school is co-ed. It simply seems that he can't let an opportunity to impress the laydees pass him by...

    Pig, you read my mind. Rocky indeed. Downright boulder-strewn, I expect. And your son sounds very authoritative!

    MH, I know! What to do?

    WM - chocolate. Works for me...

    VG, we really must get them together sometime (or maybe that would be a recipe for disaster!)

    Mud, if he had been less tired, who knows?

    Tara, far be it from me to admit to being something of an exhibitionist, but...

  11. Been catching up on your last few recent posts and they are great!
    Must be a male thing as my boys show off on wheels much more when they have an audienc and esp a female audience.
    Cheeky moves up a gear on his little Jeep and tries the odd handbrake type turn in front of the little girl next door. When he's just with me, he pootles along in the slowest gear.

  12. Hi M/M - sad, isn't it, how we aren't worth impressing?

  13. Do you mean he goes to an all boys school, already deprived at the age of 5?

  14. Hi Irene, no I don't mean that, his school is mixed. He clearly just likes girl attention... (heaven help us!)


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