Tuesday, 6 January 2009

5 going on 12

Day 5. (Take Geordie accent as read, please)

After only 1 change of clothes today and a good few successful potty sorties, I think I can almost definitely say we're making progress here. There are still a few bridges to be crossed, not least the fact that my gorgeous son does not actually seem aware of it when he produces more than wee, assuring me solemnly that no, he has 'Not. Poohed.' when my nose is assuring me that he most certainly has as I open the windows and wave the rugs around in a fruitless attempt to freshen things up a little.

I'm also a little bemused by his habit of exxageratedly tiptoe-ing his way to the potty if he has had an accident. Perhaps he thinks that this will minimise contact between his legs and the wet trousers? Or, being of a tidy disposition perhaps he is simply trying not to spread the resultant mess around? (He has been known to busily fuss around his room putting trains on tracks or in boxes for hours, before destroying them with attacks from killer t-rexs or cuddly crocodiles - which should go without saying, really.) Anyway, as long as he stops the ballet-steps before he's 10 there should be no lasting damage.

In years to come I can see him and his older brother Captain Adorable cutting quite a dash with the young ladies of Kensington and Chelsea...

Speaking of Captain Adorable, it seems that Boy #1's brush with the hairdresser yesterday has speeded up the onset of adolescence somewhat. As I mentioned on my last post, I took both the Boys for their two-monthly appointment with DEATH, at least that's how Boy #2 regards it. He was as usual easily distracted by a Thomas Tank Engine book, a chocolate, the pretty fish swimming in the tank in front of him, and oh look! Something Shiny! but it was whilst I was in the middle of my impression of a particularly frenetic Red Coat trying to keep my younger son in his chair that the hairdresser cutting Boy #1's hair set to with an electric razor.

Yes. AN ELECTRIC RAZOR! She performed a Number 3 cut - on my 5 year old son.

I could have wept when I glanced up and saw - too late - what was happening. As it turned out, wouldn't you know, he can carry this look off, and now looks older but totally gorgeous. As the east european lady who had carried out the massacre on his hair finished up, she turned to me and said:

"Gorgeoussss! Gor-dge-oussss! If ghe waz 20 'ears olter, Ah would be afffter ghim, Ah tell you!"

I rather wish she hadn't said that. Like all 5 year-olds, given the right opportunity Boy #1 can be rather vain, and consequently spent much of yesterday evening's bath admiring his new look in the mirror. And after I picked him up from his first day back at school today (having had to wrestle him free from the embraces of various little girls), he was using - out of the blue - expressions like 'Whatever!' and 'Fugeddaboudit'. He even had the nerve to ask me, when I wandered into the sitting room to check on him and his brother when everything was suspiciously quiet, what I wanted, why I was bothering him, and informed me that I could go.

After a brief conversation where I made it clear he would not ever be having his hair cut again if this attitude continued, he apologised. I suspect though that the moment I had left the room he checked his look in the mirror.

I blame his father. Obviously.


  1. Oh I hate it when they do those cuts. I take my little one to the hairdresser's rather than let the Ball & Chain loose with him at the barber's. He has beautiful, very straight, light blond hair but when he has a buzz cut his ears stick out. Bless!

  2. Don't you just love 'em to bits !! Though maybe not the attitude, you will need the next few years to garner the additional strength needed for the teenage version of Captain probably-not-so-Adorable closely followed by Captain definitely-not-Cutesey.

    Just before he started school I took my elder son to the hairdresser for the first time (I'd always done it myself before that but I was heavily pregnant and couldn't be bothered). Oh my, what a disaster! The first thing he saw as we left the reception area was a lady having a henna treatment. That was it! He set off a blood-curdling shriek followed by an extremely high pitched "I am NOT having mud in my hair, NO, NO, NO!" and a frantic dash for the exit! Fortunately the young apprentice behind us was a bit quicker than me and managed to grab him. Yes, he did have a haircut, but it was a long time before we tried that again.

    Re your sigh of relief - we did have a power cut early yesterday evening, was that you? Bear in mind we are 9 hours ahead of you at the moment. Dinner was a little delayed.

  3. Eeek. The only reason for a cut like that is lice and/or ridiculously hot weather. It's not even fashionable FFS.....he'll need to wear a balaclava in this weather, poor chap ;)

  4. And they say women are vain?

    I have a great image of him in 20 yrs with a cheesy Capt. Adorable grin and a swanky haircut propping up the bar in a swish club in K&C with Mrs. Adorable wannabes hanging off his every word!

  5. EPM, I probably should be worried about the day when Husband takes him to the barbers, but since he is even fussier than I am about these things (did you ask for a side parting? Not sure it's clear of the ears... etc) it might be a blessing for him.

    Mud in the hair Sharon? Love it. And sorry for the power cut, I hope you had some Lakeland gadget to help you get through it.

    Kelly, are suggesting my son has lice? Only asking because as you may find out yourself when your little bundle of joy starts school, they're a lot more prevalent than we think... Anyway, no he hasn't but if I see some other mummies looking strangely at me I will now know why!

    Mud, you could make money from that gift. (Because yes, the very same thought has occurred to me).

  6. My son too had a number 3 and it really suited him.
    Now he's 4 and he insists he wants it long 'like Doctor Who' and his hair is currently longer than his little sister's!
    Still looks cute though

  7. oh i might have wept if someone had done that to my darling boy! More worryingly Potty, you do realise that he is now well on the way to becoming a banker like his papa, he already has the haircut.

    I am surreptitiously training my son to aim high by adopting a surfer/dive instructor haircut. He will never earn much, but he'll see amazing things and when I'm old and saggy I will be able to go and visit him in gorgeous places. You've got to think these things thru Potty, 'always plan for your dotage' is my maxim.

    Happy new year!


  8. Sounds like you too go to Trotters?
    Last time the Littleboys got their hair cut, the hairdresser spent the whole time berating the previous person who had cut Littleboy 2's hair. Just like hairdressers for grown-ups then!

    It sounds as if you are going great guns on the potty training. It took me almost a year with Littleboy 1 having several accidents per day - I still can't believe we can go out now without a spare pair of trousers....

  9. The number 3 does make them look older. SweetP had one for years. I was livid when I came home one day and the hubby had shorn him.

    Yeah for potty progress!

  10. Ah yes, Tara, but which doctor Who, eh? Which, which????

    Pig, Happy New Year. Can't stop - am off to have my son fitted for a wig in a surfer-dude / saving the world cool-not-nerdy-at-all ecologist hair style...

    NVG, yep, Trotters it is. I take it you know it (and probably the exact same hairdresser?). We're by no means there on the potty training - he came home with two pairs of pants in a bag today - but yes, worlds away from where we were this time last week. Thank heavens...

    Ped, thank heavens my husband knows his - and my - limits.

  11. Waaaaa! Seriously! I love that kid! What a RIOT! Oh that made me laugh and I needed a good laugh today!

  12. Hee hee hee. I'm sorry, but that is just far too cute.


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