Sunday, 26 October 2008

It's a Mystery

Some of life's great mysteries (to me, at any rate):

Whatever happened to Shergar?

How can it be that so many men swear blind they like the natural, non-surgically augmented girl-next-door look, and yet Pamela Anderson is a star?

Did my older son really believe that the bogies he's wiped on to the wall next to his bed would never be spotted?

Why can't I walk in reeeaaaaaallllly high heels without doing myself and anyone around me an injury?

Did anybody actually properly understand the novel 'Sophie's World'?

Who decided that black and blue don't go together in a fashion sense?

Will I ever manage to wean myself off Diet Coke?

Backcombed hair, 80's style. Why did we do it? Actually there are a whole load of 80's fashion crimes I could ask that question about. Ra-ra skirts. Robotic dancing. Jumpsuits. Legwarmers. Pantaloon trousers. Batwing shirts. Knickerbockers. Ruffled necklines. Fluorescent bead necklaces...

How come Tracey Emin's unmade bed is 'art' and mine is just messy? (Or rather, would be, if I didn't bother to continuously remake it after my sons have snuck in and used it as a tent / hiding place / jungle / trampoline / train ten times a day).

And finally...

How can a man reach the grand age of nearly 40, excel at just about everything he does, be a wonderful husband, father and friend, and yet still not be able to put a cover on a duvet?


  1. Didn't get Sophie's World either, too like a lecture dressed up as a novel. MH
    ps the heels - the stars call them limo shoes, in other words you need a limo to get you from photo op to photo op because they're impossible to walk in. They are however, so pretty that us silly women wear them despite the housekeeping not stretching (pun!) to a limo.

  2. Can I add "and still not be able to find room in the freezer?" to the end?
    P.S. I can't walk in high heels either!

  3. And the real tragedy is that the 80's fashions are coming back.

  4. Loved the list.

    We have a very sneaky duvet cover which has the opening halfway down the top, with decorative buttons across (M&S circa 1996). It's easy to put on, because you just lie it flat, put the duvet on top, and then tuck the duvet inside corner by corner, then do the buttons up.

    I had no idea it was so revolutionary when I bought it - I just liked the design. I can't think why it hasn't caught on. I suggest you get one.

  5. The answer to most of those questions is because you are female and they are male. I leave it to you to arrange them in the correct order. Nice to know my second son was not the only one who thought bogies were an attractive embellishment to the wall-covering you chose for his room!

  6. I don't know who these people are who can walk in heels. Not only do I get injuries but huge red blisters start to appear after about 20 minutes in the damn things. How come this doesn't happen to Gwyneth Paltrow?

    My bed is currently home to four teddy bears, who are 'having their nap'.

  7. How some people can arrive at work looking chic and unflustered and I always look as though I've gone 2 rounds with a wind tunnel.

    How I can still remember all the words to I Should Be So Lucky - and nothing of the meeting I have just been in.

    How I always remember to pack loads of socks for work trips. And so few pairs of knickers that I have to wash them in the hotel sink.

    There are many mysteries in my life too!

  8. i have also noticed that a man can rebuild a computer system when he is sitting at the desk next to me but declares himself out of his depth when faced with the 'on' button of the dishwasher.

  9. A few thoughts popped into my head on reading your questions:
    Shergar - probably dog food by now.
    Wall bogies - I am SO glad you said that. My little one keeps doing that and has now extended his "art" to the hallway outside his bedroom. Yuck - and removing it is even worse.
    High heels - you're not the only one. Margot has a story over at "A Mother's Place is in the Wrong.
    I weaned myself off Diet Coke - I much prefer Diet Doctor Pepper these days.
    Despite the bad 80's stuff, my daughter had a day at school last month where they had to wear 80's fashion. My vintage lace fingerless gloves were a real hit!

  10. Why do I feel like I am 39 years old and dress like it and feel like I am entitled to that age, when in my passport it clearly states that I am 54? How is that possible? My mind refuses to except this and I will go down only after a long hard struggle.

    Also, why do I like music of the generation after me and why do I not feel like I have to settle down?

    My sister used to wipe all her boogers on the wall beside her bed.

  11. I agree about Pamela. What the heck?

    And I'm glad I missed the 80s hair. I was in elementary school and could care less.

    So I avoided the gaseous poisoning that was the hairspray of the day.

  12. MH, I know, so so pretty. But killers...

    AM, yes, you can. I may even post all the suggestions I've got...

    Ped - and it's cutting edge, apparantly. I've been there. It is NOT cutting edge. Burgundy and navy? No thanks...

    Iota, I would LOVE one of those. In fact, I would love 3 of those. But can I find them? Nope.

    Sharon - such a relief to know it's not just my boy.

    NVG - the blisters, oh the blisters. And yet, we still put those instruments of torture on our feet. Anything for an elegantly elongated calf, eh?

    Mud, as I said to AM, I think there could be a post of everyone else's 'mysteries' coming up!

    Grit - see above!

    EPM, you still had the gloves? Wow, you are organised.

    Irene, this bogey on the wall thing seems to be quite common. It's another one of those things they don't tell you when first jump on board the baby bus, it seems.

    J's Mommy - so now you're just showing off, about your age. Elementary school. Ha!

  13. He-he! Great list.

    I'm sure your husband does know how to put the duvet cover on - these men are very good at studied helplessness.

    Why do kids look so angelic when they're asleep?


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