Summer-time - and does anyone have any diocalm handy?

>> Tuesday, 27 July 2010

I'm falling behind on my blog reading. I'm also falling behind on replying to comments, Twitter, newspapers, books, and practically everything that doesn't involve bouncing around in a pool with small children, soaking up the sun and regretting the croissant with butter and honey I had for breakfast.

But hey, you only live once.

I do, however, want to ask you one question;

Do you, like me, sometimes wonder how you came to partner up with a man so similar to one of your parents?

My sister, for example, married a man who has much in common with our mother (if it's possible to say that without making him out to be some sort of emasculated person, which he most definitely is not). And I? Well, I often wonder if I have ended up with a close copy of my father.

For example, Dad was something of a workaholic when I was growing up. (He still is, actually. Which is a neat trick when you're supposed have retired already.) Most of the time this manifested itself in not being around too much during the week (at least when we children were awake), and being on something of short fuse for much of the rest of the time. (Hmm...). And when it came time for the holidays, you could bet that the first 3 days or so would be wasted due to the fact that he would come down with some illness that pounced on his lowered immune system the moment he slowed down his normal frenetic pace and the adrenalin disappeared from his body.


I don't think I'm stretching the point too much when I think of my beloved languishing upstairs still suffering the after-effects of his stomach upset on Saturday if I say this pattern of behaviour bears certain... similarities... to those displayed by my father. (And no. This is not a one-off).

So I'm wondering. Is it that I've essentially chosen a man who has many of the same qualities I admire in my father (in this instance; being a hard worker, incredibly focused, and with an eye on the long term goal rather than a short-term easy life) and which of course have similardown-sides (finding it hard to slow down, getting ill when he does)? And do we all do the same thing of looking for traits we respect in our parents when we choose a partner?

Or does this sick-holiday syndrome happen to everyone and I'm just reading too much into it?


Nora 27 July 2010 at 17:02  

The last man I was married to, was very similar to my father, so yes, I think we subconsciously marry our parent. Not that it's a smart thing to do, but we can't help ourselves and have to make the best of it. Which I didn't, of course, hence the divorce. Not that you should, you should make the best of it.

Expat mum 27 July 2010 at 17:04  

Mine's turning into his father....

Sparx 27 July 2010 at 22:35  

I had this conversation yesterday. My Frog is a lot like my Dad. But that sick on the first day of holiday thing, that's pretty normal (for a work-a-holic!!!!)

Catching up on some long-overdue blog reading, have been in a big hole for many months.

Mwa 27 July 2010 at 23:00  

LA-LA-LA!!! I did NOT hear that!!! LA-LA-LA!!! Oh no!

Henna @ AboutDivorce Blog 28 July 2010 at 12:51  

well, yes, we do seek similarities as it makes it easy to live with them, some of my husbands habits are really like my dad and i tell me often to please behave like my husband and not my dad:) its funny sometimes too 29 July 2010 at 14:19  

my son's turning into his father so some poor lass is going to end up with a similarly anal spouse ... hope your summer hols lovely x

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