Burn before reading (out loud)

OK. If I've hit publish on this, it's because I've just listened to myself reading a post on Radio Four's 'Woman's Hour' (how many apostrophe's can you fit into three words?) and rather than wanting to jump off a cliff at how strangled I sounded, have decided that it was actually OK.

It's an interesting experience, being given the opportunity to read some of your own - pre-considered - words to an audience the size of Woman's Hour's. Nevertheless, that's what I, Sandy Calico and Amy from 'One More Means Four' did this morning. I wonder if the other two felt the same way about it that I did; on the one hand, I wanted to scream it from the roof tops to everyone I know, everyone I don't, and their respective friends and relatives. 'Turn on the radio!' I wanted to say. '10.00am! Tuesday the 11th July! Don't miss it, because it's likely to be the one and only time I ever get the chance!'

On the other hand... what if my reading was rubbish? What if I ended up sounding like that woman in 'Brief Encounter'*? Everyone might laugh at me. I might never live it down. And as for what I actually had to say - people might not like it. They might think I am a self-indulgent fool. The effort I'd put into crafting what I saw as a coherent, honest post might be drowned out by a chorus of disapproval over the meaning behind it. After all, it's one thing to put a post out there for people to read to themselves using their own voices, but to be given the incredibly rare chance to read it to them, in the way that I want them to hear it, and then they still think it's rubbish, well...

But I'm a thick-skinned cow at the end of the day. And bearing in mind that my blog is 'anonymous' - ha! - even if it has all gone horribly wrong, I'll get over it...

So what the hell - I'm going to hit publish now, before the radio programme goes out.

And I can always delete it afterwards if my worse fears come true - that is the beauty of the internet, after all...

If you're interested in hearing the original programme, it's at the beginning of this, and for the full version of the post I read click here...

*And just to cheer us up the first rainy day in 2 or 3 weeks, here's a youtube clip I found when I was googling Celia Howard and Brief Encounters (for those of you who had no clue what I was referring to earlier on). It's not Brief Encounters, but instead is a pastiche by the fabulous Victoria Wood, which seems to work quite well with the whole Women's Hour theme of this post. Enjoy!