Thursday, 19 March 2009


You know you've earned your Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Parenting Award when...

1. You, who used to blaspheme for Britain at the slightest opportunity, catch yourself using one of the following as a curse word, even when there is no-one around...

For Goodness' sake!

2. You find yourself turning round to point out the tractor blocking the road to your cherubs in the back of the car - and realise it's the middle of the school morning and there is no-one to view it's yellow JCB-ness but you.

3. You get more pleasure out of shopping for your children than for yourself. There is less trying on, no extra poundage/roll of flab/tummy sucking in issue, and most importantly, you can get a complete outfit for them in Gap without breaking a credit-card related (will they/won't refuse the Visa?) sweat

4. You know the words - dammit! - to Chuggington on C-beebies

5. You feel a sense of achievement when you catch yourself checking your childrens' school uniform for cleanliness and suitability for another day's wear when they take it off rather than first thing in the morning. This removes the necessity for last minute tumble-drying and / or yesterday's sock recycling. (Though isn't the latter better for the environment?)

6. You find yourself googling 'how to draw a horse' and being quite impressed with your own efforts in that direction. Hell, no-one else is going to do it, the original request came from your son who - five minutes in - rushed off to play Power Rangers elsewhere.

7. You remove a sizeable splinter from your younger son's hand without resorting to a trip to A&E. OK, so there was chocolate involved. Want to make something of that?

8. Both Boys are asleep in bed by 7.30pm having fallen for your "gosh, look how late it is! Off to bed now!" routine a dastardly half an hour earlier than normal. And you don't feel guilty in the least about fibbing to them.

Now. How do we get to Silver and Gold? Anyone?


  1. Chuggington. Chugga. Chugga. Chugga. Chuggington.

    Do you need my address for the cert, or will there be a ceremony?

    Just like the real thing you could have camping breaks, of varying magnitude, for the silver and gold.

  2. SPD; with wine, of course. There would have to be wine on the camping breaks...

  3. Silver is achieved when the young reach 16-18 without no obvious psychological damage to either yourself or them.

    Gold, when they come home to see you, there has been no mention of money changing hands and spontaneous conversation takes place.

  4. The young man sitting next to me on the bus to town one morning after the school run was very grateful to me for drawing his attention to the particularly fine digger we were about to pass ;-)

    PS.Do I get a diamond award for having a son who has come 'home' for a week 'just because' and is taking us out to lunch tomorrow for the same reason?

  5. Chugg - ing - ton. Chugga. Chugga. Chugga. Chugg - ing -ton! Catchy tune I think they will go far.

    Oh bother. I can just hear that echo out of SW London...

    A half hour early, well done, and what did you do with that precious time? Go online? ;-)

  6. I think Titian Red is right - other levels of D of E are commensurate with the age of the child. You might even get a life time achievement award if you end up actually getting on with your future daughters-in-law

  7. I'd say you are on your way to a silver at least. :-) The drawing thing? son is totally uninterested in the fact that I can draw a rocket ship on it's way to the moon. Totally *sigh* All that "artistic talent" just out the window.

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  9. TR, aha. Now I know - I will write it down and keep it safe for if I ever - EVER - reach those heady heights.

    Sharon, you do get diamond. Though I'm such a cynical cow I would still be looking for ulterior motives...

    Thames - you clearly know me too well!

    Mud, is that possible?

    J's Mommy, that lightheared disdain for mummy efforts? Don't know what you're talking about. Never happens here. No sir...

    Claire, thanks. will look out for the e-mail.

  10. Bravo Potty, I aspire to reach these heights of grandeur!

  11. And don't forget the times when you push an (adult) friend's glass in from the edge of the table. Or the rocking backwards and forwards in the supermarket queue even when there's no little baby in sight.

    Nowadays it's the nagging about revision even if there aren't any exams to nag about... Oh, but there are.


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