What are we doing today, Mummy?

>> Friday, 11 January 2008

Yesterday's posting was a bit sad at the ending of an era. But don't worry - I've spent a rainy day (well, morning, actually) at home with both boys and I am SO over that.

SO SO over that.

If you have children you will be very familiar with the phrase I've used as the title of today's posting. It's just a few words, but - unless you are much better prepared for a rainy Friday than I am - I imagine it drives mothers crazy the world over.

'What are we doing today, Mummy?'

Do you ever dream of answering that question honestly?

"Well, darling, today we are going to clear up the breakfast things, start the dishwasher and the washing machine, reorganise the laundry on the drying rack to minimise drying time, rush around opening all the blinds and curtains, and do the first of many rounds of tidying up. This is in no particular order, and one task may interrupt another at any time for no good reason (other than the fact that I am incapable of staying focused on only one job for more than a couple of minutes), thus resulting in most of them taking them twice as long as they need to.

Then, I am going to ask you put on your shoes - 4 times, probably, before you take any notice - bundle you and your brother into your coats and hats, realise it's raining cats and dogs and that I've left the umbrellas in the car down the street, and manhandle the buggy up the steps. I will then run back down the steps to double check I've locked the front door (which I know I have but hey, let's just make sure), before embarking on a splashy walk to the shops.

About half way there you will start to complain that your legs hurt, and I will endeavour to distract you by pointing out the biggest puddles I can find for you to jump in (thus ensuring a change of clothes and yet more washing is required when we get home). This technique will restore relative calm until we are nearly at our destination, when your brother will start to shout for food because he wouldn't touch his breakfast and is now - an hour later - starving.

As we leave the bakers -with you and your brother stuffing your faces with bread roll and doing a pretty good impression of children who are never fed at home - you will announce at the top of your voice that you need a poo. This will cause all the tourists eating their breakfasts (who had been enjoying the picturesque view of you and your brother looking winsome, nudging each other and smiling in an avuncular style) to turn away and hurridly finish their coffee. We will then need to go into the shop with the nearest guaranteed to-be-not-too-disgusting loo to avert disaster. As usual, this means Starbucks, so my resolution not to buy myself a hot chocolate will go out of the window, and you and your will brother demand a chocolate coin. All 3 of us will then be totally sugared up before 10.00am..."

However.

What I actually said was something like "Oh, well, let's see. This morning you're coming to the dentist to watch mummy get her teeth checked so you can see what happens there, and later this afternoon we'll see Fred and Jamie in the garden - if it ever stops raining."

You've got to hold some of the good stuff back, right? No point getting them totally over-excited...

16 comments:

Iota 11 January 2008 at 14:23  

Housework, rain, Starbucks, wiping bottoms, dentist, laundry. Your challenge for today is to fashion those words into a charming 21st century nursery rhyme to share with all your friends.

I can get "housework, rain and wiping bottoms" into the tune of "Polly put the kettle on" but that's as far as my creative juices will run this morning.

I need to get out more.

Frog in the Field 11 January 2008 at 14:53  

Excellent post, as usual, very funny.
ps. Get over here with your hat on right now...HUGE SNOWFLAKES!!

She's like the wind 11 January 2008 at 14:59  

Just came across from Frog in the Field, although I've been over before, whether I commented or not it escapes me, but I went by the name of self employed mum, I have changed my identity as my mother intends to blog, no futher explanation needed.

Anyway.....this post cracked me up, my children are now 8 and 10 and so we are by this to a certain degree, although I do go through the list of chores followed by 'so if you would help me we would be able to go and do something that you would like' cruel mother, but I remember it well, especially checking the door was locked and the poo conversation. Now I wish I had left the chores and spend every minute enjoying their company! Soon they won't want to spend time with their mother. God you made me laugh so much and now I've saddened myself thinking about how they are not small and dependent for long.

SEM xx

aims 11 January 2008 at 15:04  

Gasp! Children do this too?!
And here I thought I was being original when I shout "I need to poo" at 'The Man' as we are out and about....

Kaycie 11 January 2008 at 16:34  

Ha. I remember those days so well. All I can say is this particular tourist would still think those boys are cute as buttons even when yelling about needing to poo.

Of courses, I'm American. It's so much harder to embarrass us. ;)

Jonny's Mommy 11 January 2008 at 16:58  

Oh I am laughing so hard. Needed that today....Thanks for sharing, your "honesty" is so refreshing.

Elsie Button 11 January 2008 at 17:42  

phew, i feel exhausted now! - i was there with you for a while - it really made me laugh.

i am begging my husband to buy us a dishwasher - at least that means one less chore eh.

Potty Mummy 11 January 2008 at 20:29  

Iota, how about:

Housework, rain and laundry,
All seems very ord'n'ry,
Though bottoms will stay clean with luck,
and I can have a Starbucks.

Starbucks Starbucks Starbucks,
Round the corner through dogmuck,
Home again to make the lunch,
and hear the glass in the dishwasher crunch...

I could go on but it's not going to improve my rhyming skills. Think you should do this one - you're much better at it than I am... And I suspect we both need to get out more.

Frog, thanks. And SNOW? God, why do you get all the fun?

SLTW (do you have a handy abbreviation, by the way?) thanks for the visit and the comment and happy to have made you smile. You're so right about them not being this for very long; even in my darkest poo-ridden moments at 3 am I try to remember that. But obviously, I don't always...

Aims, you made me laugh out loud. Think you and Boy #1 have more in common than I realised

Kaycie - not sure. I think that some of those tourists were American. But they were probably from Boston or something - I understand those guys are rather more fussy... (in the nicest possible way and not wanting to offend any Bostonians reading this. As if).

J's Mommy; I aim to please. And if you can't be honest on a blog, when can you?

Elsie, you're right, but would you believe it for ages I refused to use it? Something to do with childhood memories of arguments about who had to load and unload it. Anyway - I am over THAT now. Keep trying to persuade your husband; I reckon it saves me an hour at the sink a day...

Frog in the Field 11 January 2008 at 21:43  

The snow has gone - you missed it!
We had 30 power buts (sorry I mean cuts!)during the storms ( oh how I wish I was exagerating ).
You wouldn't use your dishwasher??Now, I let it pass that you had a skoda, but now I know I was right really to worry about you!

Iota 11 January 2008 at 23:26  

Rhyming laundry with ord'n'ry is inspirational.

The Rotten Correspondent 12 January 2008 at 02:52  

kaycie and I are from the Midwest. You can't offend us. Really. People have been trying for hundreds of years and we're just too relentlessly cheery. ;)

Great post. You really make me laugh out loud - a lot.

Potty Mummy 12 January 2008 at 10:47  

Frog, 30??? Good grief. I was going to comment on your actually counting them - but then I thought, with the power off, what else is she going to do? (Don't answer that). And the dishwasher thing - well, I 'fessed up, come-on! At least I use it now.

Iota; or desperate. Most likely desperate.

RC - must be that pioneer, Laura Ingalls spirit. (They were my favourite books between the ages 7 and 9, did I ever say that?).

Mya 13 January 2008 at 11:02  

Glad normal service has resumed. Starbucks must love you guys!

Mya x

Motheratlarge 13 January 2008 at 15:38  

Oh, how horribly true. It's the relentless tidying up that gets me. Have gone on strike this weekend - and the place has degenerated into a tip within hours. Your days sound very similar to mine - but we haven't got to potty training. Chin up. Spring will come. Things will get better.

Tracey 14 January 2008 at 11:08  

Ah just catching up on your blog since being away, and this one was a classic. Oh the memories. (Plus some of it still is a bit close to home..! Plus, my 9 year old still asks "What are we doing tomorrow?" (By that age they start thinking ahead!). Things don't necessarily get 'better'.. they just 'change'!!!

Potty Mummy 14 January 2008 at 12:00  

Hi Mya, not sure we are their favourite customers as the pantechnicon buggy does clog up the aisle a bit - but yes, they get a fair amount of custom from us. We're probably entitled to use the loo from time to time...

MAL - I recommend inviting people over; it's the only time i can get Husband to actually pick up his shoes... Mind you, he also then reorganises the cd collection which gets on my nerves because a) I can never find anything I want to play and b) there are so many more useful tidying up jobs to be done than that!

Tracey; What are doing TOMORROW? Oh god, it never ends, does it...

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