>> Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Sainsbury's, the Cromwell Road, South Kensington, London. 3.00pm yesterday.

Walking through the fruit and veg section, taking care to be environmentally conscious and pick items which have travelled as little - or as economically - as possible. My two beautiful boys accompanying me, Boy #2 in the trolley, Boy #1 making himself useful by darting backwards and forwards to pick up various items, proudly counting lemons out, bagging apples, and shunning bananas (which went in anyway).

We move towards the fish counter. I smile graciously at a fellow mummy I recognise from nursery school, looking at her 2 year old chewing on a dummy (pacifier if you are US-based) thinking to myself; "SO glad the boys both stopped with those voluntarily at only 6 weeks old..."

Boy #1 turns in my direction. Runs towards me, waving his right hand importantly as he shouts at the top of his voice;

"Bogey!"

Swallow me up, ground.


But enough of my retail humilations. The Lovely Mya has given me an award which you'll find on the right at the bottom. Thankyou Mya, I should probably have a long list of additional people to thank in an Oscar styley for getting me here, but since the latest format for award ceremonies is featuring none of that rubbish I consider myself exempt...

She has also tagged me to reveal 7 Random Facts. Lots of soul-searching here; what can I tell you that is going to be the remotest bit interesting?


Long pause.


Sod it - this lot will have to do.

1. Aged 8, my parents gave me a pair of folding scissors in my Christmas stocking. Not smart of them really. They realised this when I cut a hole in the curtains. In my defence, it's important to test these things out on materials other than paper, and the spot I chose couldn't be seen when the curtains when they were open. When they were shut, however, the sun shone through like a spotlight on a stage.

2. After a particularly nasty break-up I got so drunk with two girlfriends that I was still inebriated when I reached the office the next morning. I had to spend 2 hours sleeping under the boardroom table before I was sent home... (not my finest hour)

3. I met Husband on a blind date. You saw it here first; they can work.

4. Aged 17 - this one is really going to date me - I was so appalled by the news footage from Ethiopa that the next morning I collected £200 for Oxfam, by going round every class in school first thing in the morning and refusing to leave until they had handed over all their spare cash. The only reason I got away with it was because I had only moved to the school 3 weeks earlier, so had no reputation to trash...

5. I learnt to drink vodka working in the Student Union bar of my college because it was - we thought - the only spirit that you couldn't smell in a glass of lemonade, so could help yourself to when the bar manager's back was turned. Even if the myth about the smell were true (it's not), he probably spotted his bar staff getting increasingly drunk on glasses of clear liquid. I think he probably worked it out.

6. Husband and I once met Matthew Macfadyen and family on holiday. Very nice guy - much fatter in real life. (His wife Keeley Hawes, however, is disgustingly beautiful).

7. I have no waist.


Random enough?

23 comments:

Kaycie 15 January 2008 at 14:09  

Quite random. And very interesting!

Stratford Girl 15 January 2008 at 14:54  

This is the first post of yours that I've read (I come to you by way of Mya)... but I'll be back!
Thanks for sharing your random facts!
SG
x

aims 15 January 2008 at 16:42  

Your son says all the right things at the right time - lovely!!

And - no waist?? I guess it's better than no neck.

Good post PM!

Potty Mummy 15 January 2008 at 20:10  

Kaycie - you're too kind. No, really...

Stratford Girl, thanks for the visit; will return the favour very soon!

Aims - am assuming that this is not your way of trying to say you have no neck? In any case, I agree, as it's easier to disguise the waist deficit. If you can be bothered...

Mya 15 January 2008 at 21:10  

Great stuff!
Lying drunk under the boardroom table is really quite impressive. Respect!

Mya x

Potty Mummy 16 January 2008 at 10:21  

Aaaaah, the glory days Mya. When we were all young(er) and, in my case, a dress size smaller... However, I can't claim to have had a job interview - and got it - whilst drunk. Like some people.

Iota 16 January 2008 at 14:21  

Well done on the much deserved award.

You say you were 'taking care to be environmentally conscious and pick items which have travelled as little - or as economically - as possible'. The bogey is hardly a surprise then. Just evidence that you have trained Boy#1 well in picking out organic items.

Sorry.

Frog in the Field 16 January 2008 at 15:34  

Congrats on the award, I say, lets crack open another bottle I'm getting quite tiddley this afternoon dropping in on Dulwich Mum and then you, I might drop in on the Pig and sample some French plonk next (hic!) hope Elsie Button has some strong coffee on the go.
Did you ever watch Dick & Dom playing "Bogies!" on Saturday TV? Fantastic.

Frog in the Field 16 January 2008 at 15:35  

ps Aims has an excellent point!

Jonny's Mommy 16 January 2008 at 15:52  

I'm a dumb American so I swear, sometimes I have no idea what you are talking about, but oh my...I laugh so hard it makes my sides hurt. Glad I logged in today because I needed the laugh too.

ped crossing 16 January 2008 at 16:35  

What is it with children and "Bogey's?" My three year old will suck his thumb and pick his nose and then curls his pointer finger in and holds on to the booger. So before I can hold his hand, I have to tell him to take care of his booger. Then he wipes it on his pants.

Children. You gotta love them.

Thalia's Child 16 January 2008 at 18:52  

I just read through your front page and quite enjoyed myself.

To answer the question you posed on my blog, Mike Rowe is a TV host who does a show called 'Dirty Jobs' - he travels around, spending a day doing such glamourous things as working in sewers and garbage dumps and tanneries. He also narrates a number of other shows on Discovery channel. It was his voice that first started my obsession - the man has a gorgeous voice. And he's easy on the eyes too.

Potty Mummy 16 January 2008 at 19:56  

Iota; thanks. And YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! But I am ashamed to say that when I asked him to hand it over so I could dispose of it on a bosky tissue I found at the bottom of my bag, it had disappeared. I hope it had fallen on to the floor. But I don't think so. Aren't small boys lovely?

Hi Frog, thanks to you too. Never saw the Dick & Dom thing (Saturday morning tv is yet to dawn in our house), although I have just started to catch them on Radio 1 at the weekend and they are quite funny... Anyway, must go and chill that champers. Haven't had the chance to have a drink all day and I think now would be a perfect time! Shall I make yours a large one?

J's Mommy; glad I made you laugh and you have all this to come - be warned. You want them to start talking and then...

Ped; I knew this one would strike a chord with mums. Aren't kids just darling? (Of course his worst crime here was committing in public, I have to admit that...)

Hi Thalia's Child, thanks for the visit and glad you found it entertaining (ish). We seem to watch nothing but Discovery here (due to a 4 year old with an obsession about animals), so I may already have heard his voice; I will be watching for his name on the credits from now on! Loved the conversation between you and your husband on that, by the way...

Pig in the Kitchen 16 January 2008 at 22:30  

very good and random, trying to work out if having no waist means you are disgustingly thin or if it means...oh right.
Pig :-)

The Brave 17 January 2008 at 03:55  

Falling asleep under the baordroom table - that is classic. How I laughed! Sounds like a scene from a Seinfeld episode.

Elsie Button 17 January 2008 at 11:19  

haha the sleeping under the boardroom table sounds very familiar! I remember I was so so hungover/drunk still - i got a taxi to work, made him wait outside, while I raced in, checked my (personal) email, and then jumped back in the taxi and went straight home to bed. my boss was pretty pissed off

Potty Mummy 17 January 2008 at 12:26  

Frog, of course I don't. Silly question, really... Shall I just pass you the bottle?

Pig - disgustingly thin? Only if I'm standing opposite one of those elongating mirrors at the fun-fair. But sweet of you to suggest it's a possibility!

Hello, The Brave. Thanks for the visit - I don't think my boss at the time would have made the comparison with Seinfeld, however. Actually, come to think of it, it was rather more like The Office...

Elsie - Way to go! Am seeing you in a new light... I would have pulled the same trick but at that time I was working an hour's drive from home (luckily I'd stayed round the corner), so a taxi home was not an option. Although it probably should have been!

dulwichmum 17 January 2008 at 16:23  

Dear Chum. I met my husband on a blind date too! Indeed, they do work - very well!

Jenn in Holland 17 January 2008 at 16:37  

Love the randomness and the facts themselves! Mostly I loved the long pause and the SOD IT line. Very funny indeed.

Wasn't kidding by the way about the card offer. Come back round and leave me your email or better yet, send me an email with your snail mail address. It will be fun, eh?
aeinoyou AT yahoo DOT com

Potty Mummy 17 January 2008 at 20:50  

Aha DM - I knew you were a woman of substance! You're right - we should meet up at the Oriel and compare notes...(before checking out all those 'bargains' on the Kings Road, of course)

Hi Jenn, I'm onto it, will be sending that e-mail shortly. And glad you liked the facts. I'm sure I must have some more interesting ones tucked away somewhere, but for the life of me, I can't remember them...

Omega Mum 17 January 2008 at 21:21  

No waist, no worries. That's what I say, and I'm sticking to it.

Potty Mummy 17 January 2008 at 21:35  

OM, after 40 years without one I'm forced to agree with you.

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