It's a question of priorities...

The note from the PTO read: 'Bring us something you love for the Silent Auction'.

The Parent Teacher Organisation at the Boys' school is all-encompassing. It reaches into every corner and has a positive impact on the children's education. Over the years it has paid for a multitude of facilities, from playground improvements, to sports equipment (and I'm not talking about a couple of netballs here, rather a fully fledged ice rink that's in place for a couple of months most winters), to interactive technology for the classroom.

In addition it provides an invaluable support structure for the student's parents; for those struggling to cope with the often brutal transition from living somewhere warm and efficient to somewhere that is... not; for those who are looking for an outlet for the skills which as a trailing spouse (god, how I hate that term) they find themselves unable to use in the work-place of a land where they don't speak the language and even if they could, wouldn't be able to get a work-permit; and for those who find that removed from their comfort zone they don't even know how to begin making friends and building new networks

Amongst it's many other roles, it puts on events for the parents and teachers of the school. One of these is the Silent Auction, when parents are requested to provide goods that are packaged up into hampers of similar themed products and then auctioned off during an evening of fun and frivolity.

They're very organised in the PTO, of course; the first requests for contributions to fill the baskets came home at the middle of last term, and have been increasing in frequency (and urgency) since that point on. Each of these notes have been headed up 'Bring us something you love for the Silent Auction', followed by details of suitable items along with an explanation of themes of the different baskets that would be available. The most far-reaching of these is a range of baskets by country; US, UK, France, etc etc.

Having benefited myself from the community spirit fostered by the PTO I was keen to do my bit for this, and before Christmas gave the request to bring something I loved from home back for the baskets due consideration.

Something British was called for. Something easily transportable. Something not available here. Something - I'm afraid to say - not too expensive. And something I could bring 2 of, since contributions are accepted by class and there is heavy competition within each year group to bring the most gifts (this may be encouraged by the opportunity to win an ice-cream party if your class is top of the tables, although of course I'm sure I don't really know...).

Regular readers of this blog will not be suprised to learn that I plumped for 2 presentation boxes of miniature Green & Black's chocolate bars, since they fulfilled all of the above criteria. I brought them back after our Christmas trip to the UK, and stowed them safely out of temptation's way at the back of the kitchen cupboard.

The week just passed brought the deadline for contributions.

And did I surrender my two boxes of delicious chocolate?

Did I hell.

I meant to. And - oh ye of little faith - I hadn't eaten them, it wasn't that they were full of empty wrappers; they were still intact. It's just that as I was about to bundle them up (along with, it has to be said, a number of items from our present box that had been sitting unused since we got here last January due to the fact that we no longer know any children of the right age to give them to), I remembered an incident just before Christmas when I handed the same thing - a presentation box of Green & Black's - to the Russian mum of a friend of Boy #2's in an attempt to educate her in what real chocolate tastes like compared to - no offence intended - the rubbish you get here, only to discover a couple of days later that she had given the lot to her childrenafter trying it and not really liking it very much. For chrissake. Didn't she understand that in that case she should just have handed the rest back to me?

So the thought that I might be casting yet more pearls before swine was bothering me even before I had a conversation with a friend last week, when I voiced my misgivings and she pointed out that my precious chocolate was likely to be used to bulk up a basket and not be appreciated for the edible gold it actually is.

And that it would make a far better gift, say, for people who invited us for a meal, and who would know it's true value.

And, by the way, had I forgotten we were due at their house for dinner in a few week's time?

She's a woman after my own heart, that one...

Apres le deluge...

My sister's text, 4.50pm Monday 24th January: 'Am sure you've been sent loads of texts already, but just checking...'

My reply a few minutes later read: 'About what?'

That's how it works, you see. In this age of instant information my sister in the west of England knew about the bomb at Domodedovo Airport on Monday afternoon before I did. You think, when you see these events on the news that everybody in the vicinity must know about it. That panic must spread like ripples on the surface of a pond, that whole cities must be lost in confusion and fear, and individual citizens must be too scared to set foot outside their front door.

As ever, real life isn't like that.

When I first moved to London twenty-cough years ago, the IRA was mid mainland-UK terror campaign. Whilst not frequent, the bombings of the city centre were regular enough to give one pause, and to make elderly relatives ask questions about whether it was the right place for me to live. And yet business continued (with the exception of the installation of 'the ring of steel' around the City and increased security measures at certain landmarks) pretty much as normal. Well, it had to; London was the capital of the UK, after all.

I'm sure that that is what will happen in Moscow after this attack; certainly it did after the metro bombings last Spring when commuters were back in the tunnels during evening rush hour, only hours after two suicide bombers struck in the morning of the same day.

The Russians are a resiliant nation - after the upheavals of the last 100 years or so they would have to be - and a fairly stoic one. Certainly they don't waste much time complaining about issues that would have most soft-bellied Westerners (myself included) heading for the hills; they just shoulder the burden and walk on. I'm not sure, mind you, how much of that is out of necessity; the opportunities for a Russian to influence anything other than their own day to day life (and sometimes not even that) are slim. Many don't even bother to vote, arguing that since the outcome is pre-decided in most cases there really is no point*.

*Disclaimer; That's not to say that this point of view is correct, by the way; merely that that is what some Russians believe... (PM glances nervously over her shoulder...)

Of course there is outrage here at this latest terrorist attack, it's not simply water off a duck's back. Today is an official day of mourning for the victims at Domodedovo, and both the president (Medvedev) and the prime minister (Putin) have been quoted taking the hardline on their response. Heads have already rolled both at the airport and in the security services due to the lax approach to enforcing procedures which, if they had been followed, might not have stopped the attack happening but may have ensured it happened in a slightly less busy area.

None of which, however, begins to tackle what it is commonly believed to be the root cause of this and similar terrorist activity; the current situation in the North Caucasaus. And whilst that remains unaddressed, many Russians believe such atrocities will simply continue, and live their lives in the hope that it doesn't affect them directly.

But then, isn't that pretty much the same the world over?

Note: thanks to everyone who checked here and on Twitter to make sure the family and I are OK. We are.

My weekend...

'Nuff said.

(Although... don't hold me to that. More sick-making posts on my 3 days out may follow...)

You can have your cake, and eat it too...

Something's wrong. I am going away, on my own, for 3 days, am leaving the house in 40 minutes and I have time to write a blog post.

Admittedly, the Boys are both in school today, so I have been able to go about my preparations unconcerned by requests for biscuits, hot chocolate, biscuits AND hot chocolate, a story, a game, to be a monster, to be a monster making hot chocolate, to play trains, to bring the train set downstairs, for the computer, for the DS, for some television, for a dvd if they can't have the television, for some cake, to MAKE a cake, to be a monster making cake, and so on.

But still. An uninterrupted morning in which I have made the boy's breakfast and lunch, done the school run, dropped Husband to the station, battled with traffic, paid a visit to the kiosk to put some money on my phone, packed, unpacked, packed again, tried my ski boots on, realised they still feel like leg-irons, checked my e-mail, written a blog post (almost), made bolognese sauce for the starving hordes to eat whilst I'm away, done the laundry, written long lists of probably completely unnecessary instructions for Husband (I knew things had gone too far when I found myself about to suggest sandwich fillings for school lunch tomorrow) filed a long-overdue tax return, and made a cake.

And now it's 25 minutes and counting until I set off on my trip.

Actually, I feel quite rested already...

Only in Russia...

A friend of mine was travelling back to her country of origin from Moscow for the Christmas holiday. There were various problems on the day of her flight, not least that 48 hours before, the city had been struck by freezing rain which paralysed large areas and had cut power to the airport itself the day before. Streets were unpassable, trees were bent sideways, power-lines had snapped under the weight of the ice; you get the picture.

So she and her family were pleasantly surprised when, having arrived at the airport, they were able to board the plane much more quickly than they had expected; much more quickly, in fact, than they had ever done before.

All was calm, everyone was in their seats, the plane was pulling back from the gantry, when the captain came onto the intercom and made the following announcement;

"Ladies and Gentleman, thankyou for boarding so quickly and efficiently today. We should be leaving now, but unfortunately in their rush to get us on our way today, the ground crew forgot to take the luggage from the inbound flight off the plane. We will now need to return to the gantry to allow them to do so..."

Like I said. Only in Russia.

The difference between... Men & Women (Again)

We were at a party to celebrate a friend's 50th birthday in Moscow last night. It was a 60's themed event, which basically meant you could wear whatever you wanted as long as it included boots (for the women) and some kind of hippy themed accessory for the men. There were plenty of wigs, too, ranging from bubble cut to long and straggly, and some killer handbags as well.

The party was in somebody's home, so dancing was impromptu and in a confined space, but nonetheless impressive for that; at one point a guest (a somewhat matronly mid 50's, wearing a short dress, thick black tights, the requisite boots and a blonde bubble-cut wig) decided that she would perform a spontaneous forward roll on the dance floor.

As you do.

Now, here's where that difference I referred to in the title of this post comes in.

I saw a woman doing a forward roll on the dance floor. Admittedly, I also saw her bottom, and the fact that as she finished her gymnastic display she lost her wig, but overall I was impressed with her enthusiasm and commitment. (And, if I'm honest, the fact that she still could or even wanted to do a forward roll in public...)

The guy I was talking to? (In fact, all the guys standing nearby). They just saw her arse.

(Cue heavy sigh).

Not dead, just in Moscow - one year on

As of tomorrow The Potty Family will have been resident in Moscow for a year and one week. (The title above is a reference to the first Russia-based post I wrote back then). I'm not going to give you a round-up of all that's happened in that time (I never have been much good at 'round robin' letters; I gave it a try twice - here and here - a couple of years back, but found the whole process so boring I resorted to masquerading as a mouse...), but I will say that I have learnt more than a couple of things in that time frame:

I've learned that 25 years after leaving school, the major complaint of my school teachers holds true; I still don't do my homework. If I did, I might now be able to understand more than the embarrassingly few words of Russian I can dredge up and crucially, be able to say the word 'write' correctly - rather than mispronouncing it and saying 'piss' instead. (Russians are very forgiving of foreigners making mistakes with their language, but there are limits).

I've learned that there are advantages to not being blonde and gorgeous and driving a big 4x4. Who would have thought it? But whilst it's all very well in London (well, it's not, actually - the 4x4 bit, anyway), here all it will do is make you visible and get you pulled over and fined for such technicalities as having a dirty number plate. Luckily, I am not blonde (I reserve judgement on 'gorgeous' - after a day at home with the Boys it's not something I'm feeling right now, that's for sure), and nor do I drive a 4x4, so up until this point - knocks furiously on wood - I have managed to sneak under the radar in our very basic saloon car, and have not been deemed worth stopping by Moscow's finest.

I've learned that in many circumstances, you can rely on the kindness of strangers. This is of course mostly down to the fact that I often have two fairly edible boys in tow (in my obviously unbiased opinion), but even so I've been amazed by how much the expat community and especially the Russians will go out of their way to be helpful. During our recent trip back home I have to say that of the many comparisons I drew between the UK and Russia that came out in Britain's favour, the way that children are treated was not one of them.

I've learned that when clearing snow off a car, it's always a good idea to include the headlamps in your sweeping endeavours. Especially if you're going to be driving anywhere in the dark and want to actually see where you're going. Oh, and to keep a second set of ice-clearing equipment in the house for those times when the boot is sealed shut with the stuff...

I've learned that it can be incredibly frustrating to sit in a country where so much is happening and not to be able to blog about much of it due to concerns on how doing so might affect your own life. (Oooh - a serious one)

And to follow that one up, I've learned that it doesn't always pay to share your blog address with your nearest and dearest because they might actually read it, and then part of the reason that you started blogging - the free writing therapy and the counsel of strangers - becomes impossible to achieve without impacting on them.

I've learned that dealing with hat-hair for 5 months of the year is so much easier when everyone else is doing it too.

I've learned that Russian women have some sort of hereditary ability to walk through snow and ice in high heels without ending up falling tits over ass - and that I don't.

I've learned that far from being desperate to get back home after 18 months, as I had expected to be, I would in fact love to stay on longer. (The jury's out as to what will happen with that, by the way).

And whilst I could go on ad infinitum, I'll end by saying that finally, I've learned that my sons - well, probably children in general - have quite incredible abilities to adapt. And that my own abilities leave something to be desired.

On tact and diplomacy, and the learning of...

We all tell them, don't we? Those little white lies. 'Gosh, what a beautiful baby!' 'Wow, those shoes are amazing!' 'Oh, I love it! I always wanted a commemorative mug with the latest Royal couple on it!

But at what point does it kick in, that little white lie filter? I mean, I know that for some people (myself included on occasion, I'm ashamed to say) it fails from time to time. (Although I'm not so sure if my personal filter fails or if I just get pissed off with talking the party line - but that's another story). I'm asking because I had concrete proof this weekend that my older son's white lie filter is not yet in operation.

It was Boy #2's birthday, and some friends came over to help celebrate it. I had only issued a last minute invitation due to the fact that we and they just got back from holiday, so I was very impressed when they turned up with a present for the Birthday Boy.

Boy #1, however, was less impressed when the wrapping paper had been torn off by his excited younger brother. He looked at the box of Junior Scrabble (a great present, in my humble opinion), and said "Oh, we've got that already. And we don't play it, anyway..."

Tactless and an admission that we don't play cerebral, improving games. Perfect.

Beam me up, Scotty...

Ice-cold in Moscow

Take a look at this...

Purty, ain't it?

Note how the delicate branches seem to be encased in glass; it's the only remaining evidence of the freezing rain that engulfed Moscow a couple of weeks back, paralysing the city and shutting airports. Well, the only remaining evidence apart from the mirror-like surface of our front steps, the countless number of silver birch trees bent sideways at crazy angles (their fragile branches seem the most affected by the ice) and - most annoyingly -our car.

We missed the worst of the ice, thank heavens, being on holiday in the UK at the time, but I should have known that we wouldn't escape it's consequences entirely...

We arrived home late last night and at around 1.00pm today, I announced my intention to go to the supermarket, marching out into the snowy day (a balmy -6C) with high hopes of being back in 45 minutes.

And at around 1.40pm today after an epic confrontation with nature and an almost complete change of soaking wet clothes, I actually left home.

Because what looked from the house like an innocuous blanket of snow over the car was actually an innocuous blanket of snow... over a 3cm thick coat of ice. Over the locks, the lights, and crucially sealing the boot - where all our ice-clearing equipment is kept - fast shut. (Note to self: maybe not such a good idea to have only the one ice-scraper, kept in the car...) On the bright side however, once I managed to jimmy open the doors (great exercise for your upper arms, don't you know) and turn on the engine it wasn't that bad, since as the car warmed up a little I was able to simply lift great sheets of the stuff off it and toss them away.

Which was fun, in an Incredible Hulk, sort of way (once you got past the freezing and soaking wet gloves and ice crystals down the back of your neck, anyway).

And of course it does give me more ammunition to bring out in conversations with people back home when they complain about the dreadful weather they've been having. I plan on waiting until some hapless soul bleats about the terrible winter the UK has had (true, I know), and how it's been so cold, and then after listening to their tale of woe, bringing this experience and others like it out to trump them. I am put in mind here of that scene in Crocodile Dundee where he's confronted by a mugger brandishing a switchblade and says something along the lines of: 'Call that a knife? This is a knife...'

And because I'm nice like that, I have actually found a lego rework of that scene just in case you have no idea what I'm on about:

So let's get started. Come on, you first. Call that a heavy frost.....?

The elephant in the room today...

...is the packing.

But procrastination is the name of the game for me right now. Upstairs? Fifty thousand children's Christmas presents in various shades of Ben 10 green, Lego red, and bendy bus yellow, all waiting along with the proceeds of 3 weeks UK-based shopping to be packed into 4 too-small bags that will probably be over the weight limit for our flight back to Moscow tomorrow.

Downstairs; two small boys overdosing on their last opportunity to watch CBeebies for a few months, 2 grandparents wondering how long we are going to leave the excess baggage (that won't fit into the too-small bags) with them this time, and me, checking e-mails, watching tweetdeck, trying to work out exactly which flight we're on tomorrow, and - of course - blogging.

Oh well.

Better get on with that packing, I suppose.

Though I think I might just check some of my favourite blogs first...

Tell them where to go...

My New Year's resolution this year is not to make any New Year's resolutions, but I would quite like to become a bit less of a technophobe. I'm not quite ready to jump into vlogging just yet (and probably want to take some voice-training lessons before I do so to sound a little less like the queen), but having thought about the post below a little more (tips for visitors to London) it occurred to me that other bloggers might also be flailing around looking for blog topics in the wasteland before school starts again (what? Might as well call a spade a spade...).

In light of my efforts to jump on board a train that left 18 months ago and also as a helping hand for those struggling with blog-inspiration, I've dropped a McLinky list in below for you to add your own post of helpful hints for any visitors to your home town, if you're so inclined...

London with the kids - go on, you know you want to...

Being a Brit abroad, and a long term London resident to-boot, I often get asked for my tips on London by people making short trips there. (I think this probably happens to most people who live or have lived in hot destinations for short city breaks). Over the last couple of years, to save typing - and, I have to admit, thinking - time, I've pulled together a stock e-mail that I send out in answer to such requests, and seeing a new London resident on the BMB site asking today for these sort of hints it struck me that it might not be a bad idea to share that e-mail on The Potty Diaries.

The suggestions below are my personal picks after living there for 20-odd years, 7 of those with children. Warning; they are highly subjective as a result and won't appeal to everyone...

A lot of these ideas are free, some are most definitely not, and the list is definitely central / West Central London-centric (which in no way belittles the wonderful places you could visit elsewhere), but if you're planning on visiting one of my favourite places on earth with your children, you might find them useful...

Here, then, for your delectation, are hints from The Potty Diaries on how to make the most of London on a short trip...

Let's start with the obvious: Museums and Galleries

Most - but not all - of the state-owned museums and Art Galleries are free to enter, but they also usually have paid for exhibitions running as well. To name a few:

The Natural History Museum: a must-visit for the dinosaur exhibit - get there early in the day to avoid the queues - and the incredible collection of moth-eaten Victorian stuffed animals.

The Science Museum: just around the corner from The Natural History Museum, great for interactive stuff

Victoria and Albert: wonderful if you like design-led exhibits, such as interiors, fashion and jewellery through the ages. Make sure to look up as you go in, there's an amazing blown-glass chandelier... They often have activity packs for kids, check the website to find out about this.

The British Museum ; fantastic for all things Ancient Egypt and I think also the Elgin Marbles - statues originally nicked from the Parthenon in Athens. (Am sure you will you know this but I prefer to go with too much information than too little... You might have noticed that about me by now)

The London Transport Museum; went there with the Boys and it's brilliant, much more so than it sounds. Would quite like to have been there without them and spent more time if I'm honest...

The National Army Museum in Chelsea is supposed be good but have never been round there (apart from children's parties in the Jungle Gym), as is the Imperial War Museum. Also, if you like this sort of thing, The Cabinet War Rooms are also fascinating (Husband loved it).

also,

The National Portrait Gallery, Trafalgar Square. Great location and it does what it says on the tin...

Tate Britain; again, good location (by the Thames overlooking Battersea Power Station, very iconic), and be sure to check out the paintings by Burne Jones (if you like that sort of thing, which I do), and any Turner on view

Tate Modern; probably don't need to explain this one, and again, a great location on the South Bank. Be prepared to encounter lots of kids at this one (and not understand too much of what's on show), but children seem to love it.

Shopping / Taking in the atmosphere

AVOID Oxford Street at all costs - unless you have a specific shop to go to or want to visit Selfridges, which I admit is worth the trip, or St Christopher's Place (near Selfridges) which is quite nice for a pavement cafe experience. Of course, Hamley's on Regent St is popular with the children, try not to go at the weekend though as it gets crazy. Whilst we're at it, in Knightsbridge the locals prefer Harvey Nichols to Harrods, but as they're almost next door to each other you might as well do both at the same time, and Harrods food hall is always worth a look.

Instead, trek down the Kings Road, starting at Sloane Square Tube station, stopping at Duke of York's square for an overpriced coffee and cake in the sunshine at Patisserie Valerie or the Italian deli/restaurant next door. Kings Road does have all the usual chains but also a lot more one-off boutiques so doesn't feel quite as chain-store as a lot of high streets in the UK.

For a high-end shopping experience visit Westbourne Grove in Holland Park; just a small parade of shops but very nice and with a couple of nice cafe's to visit. This can be combined with a trip to Portobello Market (go early), but be sure to leave your wallet at home because the prices are generally outrageous...

Covent Garden; Again, leave the wallet at home (nothing too unusual to buy there and mostly over-priced), but just walk around soaking up the atmosphere of this converted old fruit, veg and flower market; if you're lucky some of the performers from the Royal Opera House will be busking in one of the galleries in their lunch breaks, which is always a treat. This can be combined with a trip to the London Transport Museum, which is in the South East corner of it.

I'm also told Hampstead is nice, but have never spent much time there (North London, darling? Are you sure?).

Open Spaces

Hyde Park - obviously. Take a picnic and walk along the Serpentine (or stop in at The Dell or the Lido Cafe for a not-too expensive lunch in lovely surroundings). The cuisine is not amazing but much better than it used to be and the views make up for it. The Albert Memorial was recently done up and is also quite impressive. If you have young kids be sure to visit the Peter Pan statue and the Princess Diana playground in Kensington Gardens (essentially part of Hyde Park, at the western end), and on a Sunday morning they often have model boats on the Round Pond - also good for kids. The actual memorial fountain to Diana is a bit disappointing, but can be seen from the Lido, and if it's warm enough lots of people paddle in it.

Holland Park - a hidden gem at the far (western) end of Kensington High Street. Visit the Japanese Garden, watch the peacocks, let the kids run off excess energy, and pick up a sticky flapjack from the cafe under the Arches. If you're feeling flush book lunch at The Belvedere restaurant.

Battersea Park - south of the river so a bit more of a trek but still lovely, green and open and has a great - very small-scale & low-key - zoo. You can easily while away a morning here.

St James' Park - if you visit Buckingham Palace then you're practically there. Am coming across as a cafe freak but the restaurant in the middle of it is quite nice; Inn the Park. Very romantic if you're there in the evening, though they are not always open then. Otherwise it's open during the day for sit-down meals or you can sometimes pick up a picnic lunch there.

Walk along South Bank from Westminster Bridge past the London Eye, (worth a visit, pre-book online to avoid some of the queues),the London Aquarium (OK, doesn't compare to what they have in Florida etc, but not bad for a central city one), past the National Film Theater where you will see lots of street artists practising standing dead still, along to Gabriel's Wharf for yet more cafe culture.

Food

Pretty much anything goes, but here are a few ideas on chains:

Carluccio's - good Italian food (the chocolate ice-cream is fantastic), and great with kids as they do a very reasonably priced menu for them and provide crayons etc to keep them happy. There's one opposite South Kensington tube station if you want somewhere to go when you visit the Natural History Museum / Science Museum / V&Albert Museum.

Wagamamma's (a chain you'll find almost everywhere) for decently-priced yummy Japanese Noodles and dumplings (no sushi). Refectory-style bench seating and the kids usually love it.

Pret a Manger for yummy sandwiches and wraps

Gourmet Burger Kitchen; don't know if they compare to the real deal, I doubt it, but they are quite good

Paul's patisserie for delicious French treats (their macarrons are to die for and of course not diet). Try also their hot chocolate which is so thick you can practically stand a spoon up in it.

Strada is pretty good for pizza, as is Pizza Express

And obviously you must have a curry, but these are not usually chains so you'll need to find your own way on that one, and whilst we're talking about One-off Eating Experiences:

Head up to Soho and Bar Italia on Frith Street in the late evening if you want a coffee soaking up the bustle of London out on the town, and if you're feeling adventurous and in need of a bagel at 3am take a cab to Brick Lane and the Beigel Bake where you can get incredible hot salt beef-filled beigels or yummy cakes 24 hours a day and for an amazingly low price.

For more expensive meals try:

The Wolsey on Piccadilly - French bistro style and they always keep a few tables in a section at the front free, and you get to celeb spot too

Hakkasan near Tottenham Court Road - Delicious Chinese food, lots of media wannabe's

The Enterprise (more of a pub / bistro) on Walton Street in South Kensington. Not as expensive as the first two but usually pretty nice food.

Pubs

Not that I get to go too often and these are west London based, but they are a good start and also serve OK food:

The Anglesey Arms, Selwood Terrace in South Kensington

The Grenadier, 18 Wilton Row - hard to find, near Hyde Park Corner, but worth the effort. They serve fantastic bloody Marys on a Sunday morning and if the sun is shining have a couple of nice tables you can sit at outside with the children...

And that, I think, is quite enough for the moment...

Update:

Or it was, until I decided to put a McLinky related to this in the post above... So if you want to share your own ideas on what to do in your home town, please feel free to post and put a link in the list.