Thoughts during a haircut...

>> Saturday, 7 August 2010

When I'm in the UK I always try to get my hair cut at the same place. It saves on those agonising conversations that one often seems to have in a new salon when we establish that:

  • yes, I do have very fine hair
  • yes, it is very straight
  • and quite short, yes
  • and no, I don't want it too much shorter as I can't take that nowadays (a cut-glass jaw-line no longer being in my possession, sadly)
  • I am starting to go grey
  • Yes, there does seem to be a lot of that going on around my temples
  • But not quite enough to do anything serious about
  • No, I don't really want to grow it out. Because of the fine straight thing we already talked about. Because that makes it look shit. And doesn't work on my face. And I really can't face the year or so it will take to make it look like a style instead of just looking like I forgot to fit in a hair cut...
  • Can you just get on and give me the same cut I had 2 months ago, please?

So I save myself the pain and go to the same salon that I've been using for 10 years, where I have had my hair cut by the same stylist (a feisty French woman who is searingly chic) for all that time, in the vain hope that some of her chicness will transfer itself to me by osmosis. It hasn't happened yet.

And every time, I have almost the same conversation with myself...

Oh God. Tell me again why I travel to the centre of town to get my hair cut at a salon specialising in cutting Japanese hair, when mine is as European limp and fine as you can get? I mean, look at the other clients. LOOK AT THEM! With their gorgeous black tresses that look like they've stepped straight out of vogue...

Oh, I want her hair. The long hair. The thick long hair that softly waves at the bottom...

No, no, wait, scratch that. I want that hair. THAT hair - the short and sassy blunt bob sitting just above the shoulders.

Or maybe the mid-length shaggy cut... Stop it Potty. Stop it! You know your look. Short, practical, occasionally a bit funky if the length and humidity are kind to you. It's taken you 40 years to find a cut that works, step away from the style magazines...

But whilst we're at it, how come hair stylists always look so skinny and on-trend? Is that something they learn in hairdresser school? You know; how to throw on a t-shirt, a pair of rock-chick skinny jeans and a little belt and make those of us to whom 'little belts' are a but a distant memory get carried with the right-on-ness of the place and spend far too much on product as we leave?

Is there any way that I could ask them for a hair transplant? Maybe I should get a perm. No, wait. I did that already. In the 80's. The poodle hair photos are still too horrible to look at.

So, over to get my hair washed. And no, they still haven't changed the set-up - I still have to climb into the barber's chair whilst some teenager half my size has to try gamely to pump it up to the right height for the sink... Maybe I should offer to climb out so she can do that without giving herself an embolism? No. Better not. That would just draw attention to an already embarrassing situation.

Ho hum.

She's still pumping. Perhaps those extra helpings of bread and cheese and the one or two glasses of rose on holiday weren't such a good idea after all...

Right. Rolled up towel over the eyes. I. Am. Liking that. I can think about lists and worries without having to make conversation... or, I can nod off whilst she shampoos, conditions, rinses, and gives me a lovely head massage and............

God! Is that over already? Did I nod off? Did I dribble? Please god, let me not have dribbled. Oh, thank heavens. No drool-patch on my shoulder. Although the towel seems suspiciously damp around my face. In fact, maybe that's why they use the towel; to save their clients blushes...

Ah. Yes. What would I like? Well can you change the nature and colour of my hair to something like yours (long, black, straight, possessing about 3 times as much body as I get with the most powerful hair dryer known to man), in a limited time-frame and on a limited budget? No?

Same as usual then, please.

And yes. I WILL buy that new product to try at home. Obviously.


Knackered Mother 7 August 2010 at 22:02  

Excellant! Totally assumed you had blogged about hair as you are currently in Barnet...x

Knackered Mother 7 August 2010 at 22:03  

That should excellent. Of course.

Potty Mummy 7 August 2010 at 22:31  

KM, thanks and ho ho, but no. Not in a suitably witty frame of mind to make the Barnet/hair association, sadly...

Mwa 8 August 2010 at 00:41  

No one's ever happy. Mine's too thick, too curly, too dry, too grey.

Nora 8 August 2010 at 01:49  

My hair is straight and very thin. There's not much I can do with it but keep it very short. And I always do go to the same hairdresser also. Under the circumstances, they do a good job and I'm not complaining. I'm still happy for the hair that I do have.

Chris,  8 August 2010 at 11:26  

My hairdresser is just about to go on maternity leave having TWINS I have an appt the day she leaves and have booked one for Dec 1 her first day back. I am already having decision palpatations (a) should I have an unusually short style on the premise it will grow slower(b) leave the highlights to grow out and the grey to grow in (c) buy her really beautiful baby clothes gift and take her up on the offer for a home visit if desperate!! I would rather change my dr than my hairdresser. ps mine is fine too bugger isnt it??

nappy valley girl 8 August 2010 at 23:14  

Love the idea of you sitting there with the Japanese ladies.

I've yet to find a hairdresser I really like over here - somehow they all seem in a such a hurry, and no-one offers you a cup of coffee or magazine in the same way as they do in London. Somehow getting your hair done at home still seems a little like pampering, whereas here it is just very business-like.

Mothership 9 August 2010 at 02:00  

I WISH you would go and see Graham the hair God. He would really help with style & colour advice ( & I have seen your hair IRL, it's not like it's a hopeless case)
I think he might help a bit with the whoop-ass attitude,too, it's very confidence inspiring to get a new look..
You always look gorgeous, anyway, with your enormous eyes. Xo

Potty Mummy 9 August 2010 at 21:03  

Mwa, you're right. I should count my blessings - at least I've reached 43 before having to think about colouring it.

Nora, like I said to Mwa...

Chris, yes, yes, fine hair IS a pain.

NVG - maybe that's the difference; in Britain we still regard a good haircut as luxury, whereas in the US it's just what you do!

Mothership, you're too kind - and I may yet take you up on that offer. (For the time being though I'm trying to spin out the lack of colouring as long as possible as the last thing I want is to have to do that whilst I'm in Russia - assuming I ever get back there, that is!)

Muddling Along Mummy 10 August 2010 at 17:08  

Oh that is so true - I've recently had to change hairdressers after 10 years at one place, its been horrid having to have EXACTLY the same chat at each of the last 3 appointments...

Next time I'm choosing a new hairdresser based on them having a 3G phone signal so I can play on my phone and avoid chatting!

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