Husband: "Ummm. No?"
Me: "I'm sitting outside the house, and - where is my door key? Is it still in your pocket?"
Husband: "No! Absolutely not!"
Me: "Well, I don't have it. Can you just check?"
Husband: "I gave it back to you."
Me: "When?"
Husband: "Before we left. You asked me for it, I went upstairs and called down that I found it."
Me: "I know. And then I called up that when you came out you should lock the door with it, and that I was going to put the boys in the car, start it and wait for you."
Husband: "No, that's not what happened. I gave you the key and then you said I should lock the door and I had to go upstairs and look for mine because I had given you yours and... I definitely gave it to you."
Me: "I don't remember that. Did that happen? Are you sure?"
Husband: "Yes, it happened!"
Me: "Well, I don't have my key, so can you just look in your coat pocket. Please?"
Silence for around 30 seconds. Then...
Husband: "I have your key."
Me (unable to keep this frankly unhelpful comment to myself): "You do know that the second part of that conversation took place entirely in your head, don't you?"
Note: I, of course, am a saint in human form and this conversation never takes place in reverse. Never, I tell you...
Oh the joys of husbands, although I have to admit I am the one with the brain the size of a pea in our relationship
ReplyDeleteHappens in our house all the time. Why he has the need to use my keys when he has a perfectly good set himself is beyond me. Obviously I too am a saint and it never happens in reverse...
ReplyDeleteHope you didn't have to wait too long to get into the house.
This made me smile:-)
ReplyDeleteIn our version, I lose my keys, everyone spends ten minutes looking for them, I accuse my toddler of having taken them and hidden them in the toy-box, and then I find them in the pocket of my handbag where they usually live.
I am the husband :D
ReplyDeleteI'm ALWAYS doing things like this drives my husband mad!
Oh dear! Amazing what goes on in their heads isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI recall having to jump on my bike many years ago and cycle some 5km to our (then) cleaner's house - which I only vaguely knew where it was - to get her key so we could let ourselves back in to the house.
ReplyDeleteWhy? I was the only one wearing shoes of some nature when the door slammed on us and we were locked out. On a Sunday. And not a mobile phone in sight.
Our neighbours now have keys, as does the cleaner (not the same one), friends in the village, my parents (not helpful as in another country), my brother (ditto)...
LCM x
That't why we have a door that needs to be locked from the outside before you can go anyway.
ReplyDeleteI love that last sentence tho'....will have to use it myself on someone.
You know what the solution is don't you? Don't let him have a key. Then you can open up the door to him as your Russian teacher advised!
ReplyDeleteOne time I went to work, my husband called when it was time for him to leave for work and asked where the car keys were. They were in my purse. I had to drive home and give him the keys so he could go to work. Luckily I was three minutes from home.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad its not just my husband who seems to have a whole parallel life in which other things happen
ReplyDeleteohmygod. so like mine. sooooooooooo like mine. who rants and raves and swears he put it there, RIGHT THERE. except that he didn't of course. There is little i get smug about. Husband finding what he swore he did not have is one of my personal smugself prompters though x
ReplyDeletePM - just seen the news about the Moscow bombings and thought about you. Hope you are all safe and well. Thinking of you all.
ReplyDeletex
of course you weren't in the moscow metro this morning because you were at the petrol station filling up your 4x4 (or quite possibly stranded by the roadside becoz you forgot to fill up your 4x4), but i'm hearing with alarm about moscow bombings and feeling a little concerned for you and your key-stealing other half.
ReplyDeletereassurance please!!!
Pigx
yes, ditto mudnpig. and with your views and opinions. x
ReplyDeleteHave come along to make sure you're all OK too. Hope everyone safe and well.
ReplyDeleteSo afte rthe initial annoyance, did you enjoy the little smug moment? I always think they're worth it;o)
ReplyDeleteMe too. Hope you are all safe.
ReplyDeleteI also came back to check after hearing about the bombings. Hope you and yours are ok.
ReplyDeleteROFL! Been there, bloody men!
ReplyDelete