Hitting The Wall

>> Tuesday, 2 March 2010

I wrote this post yesterday and considered not using it today as things now seem much brighter. However, I decided to as; a) waste not want not, and b) I want this blog to record the low points of our time in Russia as well as the skating and the snow scenes...


So all the books and websites on becoming an expat tell me that I will probably hit 'the wall' around 3 months in to our relocation to Moscow. 'The Wall' that is, as in wondering what the hell I'm doing here, despairing at the fact that I am, and desperately wanting to go home.

Well, I do hate to be late for things. And since we have now been here for just under 9 weeks (I know, because I just counted back in my diary), I thought I might as well get the whole 'wall' thing over and done with at around 2pm this afternoon.

Today was never going to be a good day.

It's our first day back in Russia after a week spent at home catching up with friends and family in temperatures of over -15degC, and our next scheduled trip to do so isn't before July. (JULY!) Add to that the fact that the Potski family was tired after a 12 hour journey yesterday combined with 3 hour time difference (it doesn't seem much, but you try telling that to two small boys who's body clocks are telling them when you wake them in the dark for school that it's only 4am), that the Monday morning traffic was particularly bad today after a short week last week for the Muscovites, that the car was running out of petrol (again), and the cow on the sat nav was sulking and had stopped talking to me.

Then there was an accident I couldn't navigate around (because there is literally no other road out of little haven in Moscow) that put me an hour behind schedule on my run to pick-up Boy #2 from nursery, and the minor issue that my mobile was running out of juice (one place you really don't want to be is on the road in Moscow without access to a phone in the case of a delay, incident with the traffic police or the possibility of speaking to your son's nursery to inform that you're going to be seriously late). Toss in a little detour through Moscow's hellish one-way systems as a result of trying to be clever and then taking the wrong turn, adding yet more time onto your journey, and what do you get?

Me, whimpering on the side of the road, and unsure if I was ever going to be able to get my car out of the snow-drift I was forced to park in. (Because even Moscow's admirably efficient street-cleaning team haven't been able to completely remove the evidence of the 60cm of snow that fell in one day whilst we were away last week). I couldn't even call anyone with the last sparks of power in my mobile (other than poor Husband who had already had born the brunt of it) because I was scared that if I opened my mouth to speak all that would come out would be a long wail along the lines 'I want to go hoooommmmeeeee!'

But.

Tomorrow is another day.

All together now, repeat after me; This is An Adventure!

23 comments:

muummmmeeeeee...... 2 March 2010 11:05  

It is an adventure, it is an adventure, it is an adventure...God who am I kidding...it sounds like hell!

Mwa 2 March 2010 11:57  

You will think back fondly on that in years to come? No - clutching at straws.

Just breathe...

Mud in the City 2 March 2010 12:09  

I still think you are utterly amazing embarking on such an adventure. Hope today features a fair bit of Green & Blacks.
x

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy 2 March 2010 12:44  

It's all about the adventure. Think of the stories. All part of the Brit family motto. Doesn't make it any easier at the time though.

It's always much harder after a trip home, when everything is fun and lovely and there is no day to day life to contend with.

Big hugs. I feel your frustration. July will come around sooner than you think. xxx

vegemitevix 2 March 2010 13:36  

I so understand. I really do. Not sure what else to say. I hope you find some friends there very soon. http://www.vegemitevix.com/home

has some encouragement for us expats!

London City Mum 2 March 2010 13:55  

PM - know the feeling well. Keep smiling (which you do) and remember the glass is always half FULL.

Failing that there is Skype. You know the real name if you are up for a chat!

Hugs and positive thoughts
LCM x

Heather 2 March 2010 14:52  

oh boy, I know this feeling so well. Glad to hear the next day you feel so much better.

nappy valley girl 2 March 2010 15:55  

Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....

A traffic jam on the Kings Road will seem like a picnic after this!

Frog in the Field 2 March 2010 17:01  

Oh Potty, I've had one of those days too, it's not where you are lovely, it's just one of those days.
I've screamed at the cat, threatened the dog with death, glared at Darling Husband and it will all be rotten until tomorrow I suspect.
At least you're incivilisation..I'm in Wales for goodness sakes!
xx
ps. Just writing a meme for you, will be finished in a short while, have a look later please.

Guineapigmum 2 March 2010 17:20  

t remember - when you stop having epics, you know you're getting old. You're clearly still very young. Take lots of pictures of those good bits to look at on the bad days!

Iota 2 March 2010 18:07  

Did writing help? I hope so.

I know what you mean, about the time lag effect. Bloggers' licence. I remember once posting a really miserable post, about a week after I'd written it. Then I had to persuade my mum, who instantly phoned, that I was ok, and happy, and not about to spend the day lying in a darkened room on my own.

How about arranging some more of those lovely playdates? It always helps to have a bit of company, and something in the diary to look forward to. You never know. You might find someone who becomes a real friend. In my early days here, I used to cut off my nose to spite my face, by deliberately not "getting out there" and trying to see people, on the basis that it would prove how lonely and miserable I really was. So I proved that to myself, and then thought "that was a bit stupid". I'm all for a little bit of solitude, but not too much.

If all else fails, you can do maths. You're planning to be there for 2 years, am I right? OK. So 9 weeks is about 9%. You've already done 9% of your time. Does that help?

Potty Mummy 2 March 2010 18:20  

Mummeee, it was, but that's done with. Now I just have to look forward to the next nursery pick-up day!

MWA, who knows? I might - look back fondly, that is.

Mud, thanks, and funnily enough G&B DID feature in my day yesterday!

Thanks Brit - and you must be nearly there yourself?

Vix, thanks, I will check it out!

LCM, thanks so much. Much better today - I knew it would be - it's just pants when you're in the thick of it.

Heather, yes, I'm a novice compared to you, I know! (Loving the reindeer's backside, by the way - don't change it)

NVG - and coffee in Starbucks on the corner of Flood Street will seem like paradise!

Frog - it could be worse. You could be in North Wales... (to anyone from NW reading, that was just a joke, obviously...)

GPM, great advice, will take care to follow it!

Iota, it does help, funnily enough - although mainly because it makes me realise that if I spend too long moping I'm going to blink and miss it!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy 2 March 2010 19:06  

Right now, I'm counting the days. The final battle with the bureaucracy has officially tipped me over the edge. I'll see you back in civilisation in July with not an ex-communist or snow flake in sight. :-))

Pig in the Kitchen 2 March 2010 19:46  

ouf! A pretty terrible catalogue of events. All made worse by the fact that you've just got back from the UK. I remember bursting into tears once as our plane touched back down in China after a perfect holiday in Thailand. Sometimes it's easier to stay in the shit than to leave and come back...
Good luck PottyM, things will perk up and then sink again and then perk up again until it just becomes normal life.

And I'm thinking you need a phone charger for the car and a system for putting petrol in the car...
Pigx

lastofthemojitos 2 March 2010 20:48  

Awwww, big hugs. Isn't that what blogging is for - to talk about your highs and lows! Hope tomorrow is better for you and I'm still in shock that 60cm can fall in one day!

Paradise Lost In Translation 2 March 2010 21:14  

I do feel for you. I've done this whole moving abroad thing twice now as a family, & tho I KNOW what to expect it doesnt actually make it any easier living thru it. All the books also tell you that these "I wnt to go home days" will lessen but that you will always have them. Much as I hate to say my husband was right, it IS an adventure & I guarantee u will look back on yr time fondly, it will make u stronger, more resilient & u can't beat the wealth of experience, not to say stories it gives you! I have to say that, tho Sri LAnka did get easier, it took MOST of the 2 yrs we were there & that I enjoyed it much more in hindsight than in actuality!

Paradise Lost In Translation 2 March 2010 21:14  

I do feel for you. I've done this whole moving abroad thing twice now as a family, & tho I KNOW what to expect it doesnt actually make it any easier living thru it. All the books also tell you that these "I wnt to go home days" will lessen but that you will always have them. Much as I hate to say my husband was right, it IS an adventure & I guarantee u will look back on yr time fondly, it will make u stronger, more resilient & u can't beat the wealth of experience, not to say stories it gives you! I have to say that, tho Sri LAnka did get easier, it took MOST of the 2 yrs we were there & that I enjoyed it much more in hindsight than in actuality!

Expat mum 2 March 2010 22:35  

FOllowing on from Paradise's comment - just think of the dinner party stories you'll have when you get back!! You could write a book!

geekymummy 2 March 2010 22:57  

I woman I knew called days/experiences "FLE's" (F**king learning exerpiences).

Hang in, and thanks for sharing, life can be hard enough without muscovian traffic and snowdrifts! Hope not to many more FLE's this week.

sharon 3 March 2010 03:18  

Chin up, stiff upper lip and all that Potty Mumski! You can do this, and I'm sure there's a book in the experience too, once you are safely back in good old London permanently. In the meantime there is cake, chocolate and vodka ;-)

Have been away looking after friends' kids, pets, house etc for the past couple of weeks, hence the long silence.

Home Office Mum 3 March 2010 10:43  

It's definitely all about the adventure. Let me leave you with these two quotes from my book Be:

Be Daring - If you're looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem. - H Jackson Brown

Be amazed - As I started looking, I found more and more - Valerie Steele

Susie 7 March 2010 20:52  

I can so empathize!

I moved to Israel almost 20 years ago at age 21 with hubby and 1 1/2 kids. It took me almost a year to stop being miserable a good part of the time. And I knew I wanted to live there, and I had hubby's family here as well as my grandparents and some cousins and yet...homesick.

I hope it doesn't make things worse, but it takes a year or so to settle in.

Modern Dilemma 7 March 2010 21:35  

Trips home always make you feel bad when you return. I struggled too after a good visit from family or friends (though the bad visits made you feel quite happy for the distance, see my post today).

I know it feels really crappy but even the bad bits are part of the adventure. Need the lows to appreciate the highs etc etc.

Chin up lovely.

MD xx

Post a Comment

Go on - you know you want to...

  © Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Customised by Grayson Technology

Back to TOP