Thursday, 22 October 2009

Middle-aged angst

I seem to bemoan the passing of time on here quite often, mainly because it's a bit of a shock every time I look in the mirror. What happened to that fresh-faced 20-something who frequently got asked for id in pubs and bars, I wonder? When was it that the creases in my face started to last after my morning shower, to jump out and assault me when I put my contact lenses in? When did I become that woman who no longer bothers to look in the mirror between applying mascara first thing and taking it off at the end of the day?

I don't feel middle-aged, I tell myself, but if I live until 84 years old then this, right here right now, is definitely my middle age. Of course, if I beat the odds and am still fighting fit at 95 like my grandmother, then I don't hit it until another 5 years have passed - which actually doesn't seem very long, now I come to think about it.

Mostly I just ignore it in the hope that the whole age issue will go away, but every now and again something happens that makes me realise my priorities have changed and are no longer in line with that of a young whippersnapper. Like, when I don't have the last glass of wine. Or I put the beautiful shoes back on the shelf in the shop and decide that whilst they're gorgeous, I just don't have anything to wear them to. Or, when I make a purchase that even 5 years would have seemed incomprehensible - like the 'coat with a hood' that I've written about in Powder Room Graffiti this week...

(Apologies, but yes, it's a link post...)


  1. I'll go over and take a look. I don't like the aging process, I doubt anyone does. It seems to me that just as I start to feel more comfortable in my own skin, that skin starts to sag. Sob.

  2. I try to remind myself that I have control over a lot of things in my life, but not the day I was born. Sometimes it even works.

  3. I don't look in the mirror often as, now that I have given up colouring my hair, a version of my Mother seems to be living there and she's 82!

    Other than that I find not wearing my specs helps - also good for not seeing the finer details of the housework deficiencies!

  4. oh gawd. how i sympathize. i have noticed, to my horror, that i have got the beginnings of a sort of turkey wobble under my chin. not so much excess fat as face collapsing under the effects of gravity wrought of age. I thought my bags and wrinkles were enough.

    like sharon I don't bother with my specs when i apply makeup. it's why i look like mad old french tart most of the time. x

  5. yes being short sighted certainly has its uses at crisis moments like this! It's that weird feeling of knowing who you are & part of that is a mental image of how you look/come across. Those 2 images used to marry up, now there's a certain dissonance about who I 'know' to be me & then this 'other' person in the mirror. It's only a slight jar at the moment but I can imagine it gets more and more acute!

  6. honestly dear, no need to apologise for a 'link post', aren't you preparing for a monumental move within the next few weeks? Perhaps just photos of the chaos that I assume is reigning in your house would be enough?

    честно милый, не надо извиняться за ссылку "POST", вы не готовились к монументальным двигаться в течение ближайших нескольких недель? Может быть, только фотографии с хаосом, который я полагаю, это царящая в вашем доме будет достаточно?

    And that was just to get you in the mood.

  7. I'm just going blonde to hide all the grey in my hair. It makes me feel like I'm getting younger!

  8. RS, that's so true - and so perfectly put!

    EPM, worth writing in the front of my diary - and on a post-it on the mirror, I think...

    Sharon, yes, pre-contact lens insertion in the morning is pretty much the only time I properly look at myself. Sad, huh?

    RM, I doubt that - (the French tart, that is - although of course if she were high rent...?) Anyway, maybe we should all invest in one of those books about how to combat the signs of ageing and sit stroking our chins all day (I seem to remember that's supposed to help).

    Pig, I see you have access to google translate too. Fabulous, isn't it? (And no, you don't get to see the photos - I do have SOME pride).

    LH, just what my mum did and she managed to carry it off for quite a while. She's growing it all out now though - by Christmas she'll be properly grey and it will be interesting to see how I'm going to look in a few years time!

  9. Link posts are good one...I'll run over and check it out.

    Aging sucks. I know....I know...I'm not yet "middle aged" as you call it, but I am not far off.

  10. но меня насторожило это....страшно ехать в незнаомый город, да еще и зависить от богатого дяди.



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