House Rules

The management reserves the right to close her ears to repeated requests for biscuits only 20 minutes before dinner.

The management reserves the right to leave coffee cups and empty drinks cans and cartons where they have been discarded.

The management would like to point out that on the counter top does not equal in the dishwasher. Neither does in the kitchen sink.

The management kindly requests that voices be kept low in the morning as Air Traffic Control at Heathrow have been complaining they cannot hear the incoming flights.

The management would like to remind residents that whilst laundry is part of the service, folding, pairing socks and putting clothes away is not.

The management is not a servant.

The management kindly requests grandparents not to call between the hours of 5.00pm and 7.30pm because that is the witching hour and if you do pick up the phone to her then you will get a short answer.

The management wishes she could leave the phone to ring at that time but is unable to do so as she is invariably overcome by panic that if someone does call her then, that it must be important; i.e. hospitalisation at the least. Having a chat does not count as important - it can wait until 8.00pm.

The management reserves the right to surreptitiously bin crxp plastic toys from the front of comics when no one is looking.

The management reserves the right to deny all knowledge of their whereabouts when questioned.

The management would, just for once, like the oppportunity to finish what she starts in the smallest room without interruption.

The management reserves the right to shout if she is not granted this opportunity...