Appropriate compliments from your children

>> Friday, 6 April 2012

Yesterday morning, after some proper venting of the lungs from yours truly, I had the following conversation with my sons.

"I can't believe I have to lose it with you two before you take any notice of me. And when I'm so perfect as well."

Boy #2's head came up from where he was paying close attention to some lego contraption. "What?"

"Don't say 'what', say 'I beg your pardon.' And I said, I wish I didn't have to shout for you two to pay any attention to what I'm asking you to do. Especially when I'm the world's best mother."

"Yeees." Boy #2 nodded his head.

On a roll, I thought I would push it a bit further. "And when I'm so wonderful, and beautiful, and generally gorgeous, as well..."

"Yes" he agreed, straight-faced. "You are."

Boy #1 poked his head around the edge of the door. "And don't you think that she's really hot too, Boy #2?"

Hmm. Being called 'hot' by my son? Not OK. But how to explain what is - and what isn't - an appropriate compliment for a son to give his mother when he's 8 years old, wants to make her feel good, and is not yet (thank god) tuned in to the double meaning of words? 'Beautiful' - fine. 'Pretty' - also fine. 'Hot'? Is not.

I got around it by suggesting that 'hot' is the sort of thing you might say about a girl you wanted to marry and have a family with (not that the two have to go hand in hand of course, but it is the model they know), but that it wasn't the sort of thing to say to your mum. Unless, of course, you are talking about her looking a little flustered...

But how would you have dealt with it?


Anonymous,  6 April 2012 at 10:38  

My 10 year says I'm 'hot' sometimes and my 12 year old tells him it's so wrong! He'll grow out of it, just enjoy it for now!

When they were younger (3/4) instead of saying 'can I have...' I taught them to say 'please lovely mummy may I have....'

BavarianSojourn 6 April 2012 at 10:47  

Bless, that made me laugh! They do come out with some corkers don't they at that age? :)

Mummyattheschoolgate 6 April 2012 at 10:56  

Hahaha...they do say funny things! In a few short years they'll be horrified by their comments!

Hearth-mother 6 April 2012 at 13:42  

I wouldn't know; I seem to get only insults (often inadvertently) from mine!

Alison Duveen 6 April 2012 at 14:44  

This post makes me want to have a boy!!! Sounds like fun ;) I'm sure he will grow out of it and then 'hot' will turn to 'mommy, you look beautiful'. Ax

MsCaroline 6 April 2012 at 16:01  

HA!I probably would have said something along the same lines. Enjoy it while you can!

Irene 6 April 2012 at 21:45  

I wouldn't worry about it too much. He'll figure it out on his own and be hottified. Just don't react to it at all.

About Last Weekend 7 April 2012 at 00:02  

Not one I've never ever received. Mum your neck is getting so scary is one I got recently...

Iota 7 April 2012 at 13:34  

About Last Weekend's comment made me laugh!

It's odd, isn't it, that both 'hot' and 'cool' are compliments.

I think you handled it well.

Expat mum 7 April 2012 at 15:51  

Ha ha ha. He'll definitely grow out of it and be mortified that he ever said it. My 8 year old is now at the stage where he's trying to practice his "movie kissing" on my cheek - you know, the moving the head from side to side thing? Argh! At least it's on my cheek but i still tell him that's not the way you kiss your mother. Then he goes and practices on the dog!

Anonymous,  8 April 2012 at 02:22  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jobo 10 April 2012 at 01:28  

Hee hee, it's a funny one but I think you handled it fine.

Miss M (just 7) has taken to attempting movie star type kisses on my cheek, and uttering the words "Ewwww they're being romantic, it's so embarrassing", when ever she sees anyone kissing or hugging (even if it's a peck on the cheek between friends/family).

I have explained that romance is between people who love each other in a girlfriend/boyfriend way, and that snogging my cheek is yuck. I'm not sure she gets it yet but we'll get there.

And you are hot. But yes, I can see how that would feel weird coming from your 8 year old son. xx

Whitestep 16 April 2012 at 16:34  

Haha! My teenager will sometimes refer to me as hot, but only in a creepy way to freak me out because she knows it's weird! I would just take it as a compliment for now if I were you...

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