Wednesday, 9 February 2011

The Gallery; 24 Hours in GT's life...

The prompt for Tara's Gallery this week is '24 hours'. Not wanting to bore you with details of snow, snow, and more snow (which is what we've had here in the last 24 hours), I decided instead to show you 24 hours in the life of somebody else.

Apologies in advance for any offence I cause by using Lego stereotypes...

Hi! My name's GT, and I'm a lifeguard in Moss-cow, Russia!

I'm not originally from here, you understand; there isn't much call for red swimsuit-wearing lifeguards in this part of the world. I arrived on a witness protection scheme carrying only my floatation device and wearing my uniform...

.... after tangling with the wrong guy out on Malibu. He kept trying to get me to run off with him and his marraccas and start a family. I mean, I like Latin Amerian music as much as the next girl, don't get me wrong, but the constant shaking? Drove me crazy, so I told him to beat it, at which point he started to threaten me with the castanets and it all began to get a little ugly. That's when Mitch - my boss - decided it might be better for me to lie low for a little while...

Anyhoo, that's how I ended up here, where the powers that be decided I couldn't get into any more trouble. My days here are pretty samey, really. I hang out with the guys *...

and sometimes I meet up with my ski buddy. He's always trying to persuade me to try snowboarding but I have to tell him, in this costume? Think of the snow burn on my butt if I fell over...

I guess I'm a bit of a celebrity round about. It's lucky that the local branch of the witness protection scheme hired Igor, my body guard; he soon sees off any troublesome attention...

What else? Oh yes, sometimes I meet up with my handler. He's a bit of a dish to be honest, or at least I imagine he would be if he ever took his helmet off...

And sometimes I just take time out with a cup of coffee and think about the good times on Malibu beach..

So, that's my day! How about yours?

* Author's note: The use of alien lego figurines to represent 'the guys' in no way reflects the author's opinion of the quality of men in the general locality...


  1. Haha! Excellent :) Love your take on the 24 hours and lego, Lx

  2. Oops, the above comment was from me!

  3. Oh how I larfed. I like the white 'snow' background!

  4. Fantastic! Next you need to stop motion it, so it can be a film :)

  5. ...Lab; It had to be done (well, faced with the alternative material, in any case!)

    PW / HC, thanks for the double comment and the appreciation!

    DG, purely unintentional, I assure you (our window sills just happen to be white)

    ZA - yes, but... that sounds like a bit too much work...

  6. awesome, you never fail to make me laugh.

  7. Dang it, woman, you are FUNNY!

    This is why I blog. All this brilliant and hilarious stuff at my finger-tips.

  8. Re your comment on mine... Your last post taught ME a whole lot more about bringing up girls than you could possibly be learning from my blog. Ooh, ironic!

  9. This is what we do in my writing workshop - take objects at hand (like random lego figurines) and creat a story. In your case a brilliant blog post.

  10. Thankyou Achan! (love the picture on your blog header, btw)

    Iota, thanks, glad it raised a smile - and ironic indeed on the raising girls thing and - just between us - somewhat horrifying, no? (like the 'no?' I'm being all Pig in the Kitchen... x)

    EPM, I love creative writing. Don't get to do enough of it, mind you (though that is more laziness than anything else)

  11. Well, at first I was a little horrified, but then I found myself thinking "well, why not?" I mean, there's no right or wrong on these things really. It's all just cultural, and what you're used to. I don't want to add it to my long list of things I'm luddite about. I'm wondering if I should give it a try, no?

    And it's funny that you think you're turning into Pig, because when I was writing my last post, there were a few moments when I thought I was turning into you. I'll have to step away from the keyboard before it gets any worse.

  12. You have the weirdest Lego men.

  13. Iota, step aWAAAAAY from that keyboard - you don't want to be turning into me (although I imagine the weather in our respective parts of the world is quite similar right now). And yes, maybe 'horrifying' IS too strong a word. I mean, start with armpits and legs and why stop there? It just all seems so time consuming...

    Mwa - maybe it's a Russian thing?

  14. Hi there, nice to meet you. Jody here, living in California. Love your blog and scenario - hilarious use of legos. I'll be back...

  15. I love it. And yes, I think an animation is definitely required. You could be the new Nick Park....

  16. I still can't believe how badly made that Lego figure is. The red back, and the flesh tones front, and no attempt to match them up. She looks like she's in some kind of red surgical back support.

    Now, here's a question (totally unrelated to this post). Does the boys' school in Moscow teach front trotting to the same high standards that their London school did? Otherwise, don't you think it's time you got back to Blighty? You really mustn't let them fall behind in their front trotting skills.

  17. Ha! The post was funny but your commentary with Iota is much more interesting... I must have missed the Front Trotting episode but am agog to search for it now!


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