Jingle bells, jingle bells...

>> Wednesday, 13 August 2008

It's Christmas here at the Potty household.

Well, it's not, obviously. But it felt a bit like it was, this evening.

Not because Boy #2 has done an abrupt u-turn and suddenly decided to use the potty. Oh no. No sign of that happening for a good couple of months, I'm afraid. Just over a year ago, when I started this blog, I wrote this in my retrospective account of potty training Boy #1.

'After ten minutes of watching him sit down, stand up, settle himself again, then re-check that it’s all tucked in (there are some times it’s better to be a girl, I knew there had to be), then standing up to flush the loo again, I was so desperate for the loo myself that I ended up sitting next to him trying to encourage him to by example.

At one point I got excited that the grunts beside me might result in some action, until I realised that the little gasps of effort were related to his shredding of the loo paper, which in the time I’d taken my eyes off him had gravitated from the cardboard roll to a heap of tissue on the floor.

And as I sat there surrounded by drifts of toilet paper and looking at the thread veins on my legs which mysteriously appeared along with Boy#2 (pregnancy is the end, really – even six months after it’s over you keep finding new and exciting calling cards it’s left on your body), I thought back to my pre-child days with some degree of nostalgia.

Self pity is hard to maintain though when your son suddenly makes a ‘shhhhhhhh’ sound to imitate the sound of a non-existent wee (thought he was going to follow up with ‘schweppes please’ at one point), and then announces he’s finished.

Needless to say, the potty was empty.'

Well, this evening I had the oddest sense of deja vu... Boy #2 announced that he wanted to sit on the potty just before his bath. Nothing new there - he does that all the time. But usually, he's fully clothed. This evening, ready to climb into the bath, he was not. As he sat down on the throne, I permitted myself a - foolish - moment of hope. What followed was a visible and audible effort to perform, followed by a delighted giggle. Surely not, I thought? It can't be this easy?

Of course it can't. The giggle was prompted by tickling sensation from the piece of loo paper he had used to line the potty. Which was - of course - empty.

He's soooo not ready.

So no, Christmas is not here as a result of the potty training fairy wafting her magic wand over our household.

Instead, Christmas made a brief visit to us this evening via 'The Polar Express'. (If you've not seen it, I recommend that you go online right now and order it. This really is a wonderful film, suitable for children of all ages, even 41 year-olds like myself).

Both my Boys sat transfixed. It wasn't the first time they've seen this film. It wasn't even the 3rd or 4th time they've seen it. But Boy #2 - who is, I must admit, something of a petrol-head given his fascination with anything on wheels - won the toss when they were given the chance to watch a DVD , and it was his choice. His older brother complained of course, but I got the feeling that was more out of a sense of duty than because he didn't want to see it.

So the three of us curled up on the sofa together and were transported to a land of wonder, magic, snow and ice. They were both so in awe, in fact, that I was able to cut both sets of finger and toe-nails without a murmer of distress. Now that's what I call a result. And by the time it finished, and we had danced out the credits - with the three of us twirling around the living room, me with one son in my arms and the other spinning like a top at the end of my free hand - I fully expected to glance out of the window behind us and see CGI picture-perfect snowflakes falling prettily over a winter landscape.

It was raining, of course. This is London in August, after all.

And now the Boys are in bed - and I have to go and clean the nail clippings off the sofa. Rock and roll, baby. Rock and roll...


Kitschen Pink 13 August 2008 at 23:03  

Can you watch Christmas DVD's in August? Ours ar packed away with the tree decorations on Twelfth Night! I thought the Christmas Elves got cross if you watched their films in the wrong month? Did someone tell me a lie when I was little? Have I perpetuated that deceit with my beautiful boy? Good grief! t.x

Sam I am 14 August 2008 at 01:12  

potty training tip - try turning on the tap when they are sat on the potty....makes me need a wee and it sometimes gets you unexpected results!

Sam I am 14 August 2008 at 01:13  

ps... having just potty trained number 3 - if they are not ready it aint going to happen.

Potty Mummy 14 August 2008 at 13:13  

KP, of course your way is much more sensible and organised - maybe I'll try and do that after next Christmas. But not yet. Boy #2 would have my guts for garters if I tried to remove Po'wah 'Spress from his sticky little grasp...

Hi Sam, you know I have tried that - to no avail - so I think you're right and I will just forget the whole thing for a couple of months. As you say, if they're not ready, they're not ready...

Working mum 14 August 2008 at 14:15  

Aww. Sounds lovely.

We're watching too many DVDs here as well because of the rain. It's worse because we're members of lovefilm.com so they just keep arriving in the post!

Iota 14 August 2008 at 14:34  

I think the first bit of Polar Express (ghostly ticket collector, train swooshing along in the dark) is a bit scary - but my kids' scare threshold is very low. Wussy, you might even say.

I am the world's worst potty trainer. Took months not weeks, tried and failed to stay relaxed, none of the standard things worked, boys couldn't be bothered at all unless a huge bribe was involved and then they reverted once the bribe had been achieved. The girl was easier (as they tell you), but then we moved continents which made her revert (which I was anticipating, but pretty annoying nonetheless). When I am on my death bed, they will hear me muttering "potty training, potty training" under my breath, and when I get to heaven, I will demand to know of St Peter whether there is such a thing as a potty or a sticker chart in the blessed place before I can be persuaded through those pearly gates. And when I do get in, you'll find me dancing round the pyre of copies of "Potty Training in One Week" along with all those other liberated mothers. For the moment, you have my sympathies, but I'm sure you're very competent.

Jonny's Mommy 14 August 2008 at 14:54  

I have yet to start potty training in earnest and am actually unsure of when I should start. Jonathan is not yet 2.

But when I do start I will be referring to some of you past reflections, because they are funny and will remind me I am not alone in my journey!

Very funny stuff and the stuff about the Polar Express was so sweet! We'll have to look for it.

Expatmum 14 August 2008 at 17:15  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Expatmum 14 August 2008 at 17:17  

Try again. I was saying that while I love little finger and toe nails, my enormous 13 year old son is a different kettle of fish. Yesterday he came back into the kitchen with nail clippers.
"Where are the clippings?" I asked, horrified.
"Dunno. They went pinging off all over the place," he replied.
Oo er. Gross.

Bush Mummy 14 August 2008 at 17:38  

Oh we LOVE that film.. it is one of the Bush Babies favourites - they call it the 'little boy and the train' film..

Somehow it works in the middle of summer too.

BM x

aims 14 August 2008 at 18:56  

I've not seen that film yet....but I will look it up PM!

You have a wonderful life you know. Always full of the unexpected and given memories that will last you forever.

Irene 14 August 2008 at 19:03  

Just think, though. You made it through another August day unscathed, all in one piece with your senses intact. I congratulate you on that, because you must get a little lonely on your own sometimes.

Kitschen Pink 14 August 2008 at 21:01  

You didn't answer my question about the elves! Is this a conspiracy? I might risk it and keep The Snowman out all year in 2009 and check the impact on my stocking! t.x

Potty Mummy 14 August 2008 at 21:23  

Hi WM - I salute you. Blogging AND subscribing to Love Film? I couldn't do it...

Hi Iota; competent? Me? At POTTY TRAINING? Cue hollow laugh... I am, however, more than competent at laundry. Might come in handy when we finally get round to going cold turkey with the nappies... But as I said in the post, that's unlikely to be anytime soon.

J's Mommy, I think you will probably just know when to start. Before High School is always a good plan, though...

EPM, yeuch! Boys are gross, aren't they? I can top that story though... Husband's older brother used to keep his nail clippings. In a match box. 'Nuff said? (I should say this was when he was a teenager - not now)

Hi BM, so good to know we're not alone in our Polar Express devotion. Boy #1 is sick of it though - he firmly told Boy #2 this evening we are now leaving it 'till Christmas before we watch it again. Poor Boy #2. He sat there clutching the dvd case looking very forlorn. I shall have to hide it and hope that out of sight is out of mind...

Aims, thankyou - and I know, I do have a wonderful life. Despite the frequent moans and groans, I do know.

Hi Irene, other - intelligent - mums. It's the only way to get through the day.

KP, it IS a conspiracy. The only reason the elves don't want you to watch the movies is in case you spot some of them off duty on their summer hols in Menorca. They rely on your having forgotten what they look like before they venture out for a bit of sunshine and drunking binging in the Balearics, which is why poor souls like us are encouraged not to watch the christmas dvd's out of season.

Kitschen Pink 14 August 2008 at 23:28  

As my illusions crumble I am planning my next rainy day - The Snowman and a tin of Quality Street (I'm guessing that the adult who told me that they were only allowed in December was lying too!). Thank-you PM, I'm walking on the air.........

Bush Mummy 16 August 2008 at 18:51  

Potty, Boy 2 very welcome to hang out with Senior Bush Baby to watch Polar Express any time.

BM x

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