Wanted:
1. New child's plastic bathroom step. (Note to self: plastic bathroom steps to do not take to well to being kicked out of the way by frustrated mothers thwarted in their 10th attempt of the day to go to the loo with the door shut. If you get my drift)
2. White waitress apron (to service mini-Pashas ensconced on the sofa watching c-Beebies and demanding drinks and snacks throughout the day)
3. Nurses uniform (unsexy as possible please). Husband + damaged toe arrives this evening. Am expecting the worst.
4. Replacement sense of humour (due to existing one being worn out)
5. Training course in how to use an ear thermometer on a 2 year old without getting a set of 5 wildly fluctuating readings within the space of 2 minutes. (Poor Boy #2 is now so used to having his temperature taken that he assumes the position - presenting an ear with head pressed against my chest / stomach - the moment he sees the aural thermometer come out of it's case).
6. Anger management course in how to deal with difficult doctor's receptionists refusing to put me through to a nurse or a doctor when I know they close in 5 minutes and Boy #2 has come up with the same temperature 4 out of the 5 times in the last 2 minutes. The problem being, that the temperature was 39.5 deg C. (Actually, scratch that request. The anger worked. They put me through.)
7. A sense of calm resignation which is what I am expecting will be required when Boy #2 does not improve in time for Husband and I to leave tomorrow on our weekend away skiing together.
8. A sense of calm resignation if we do get to leave but Husband is unable to ski due to grievous injury inflicted on big toe, resulting in a petulant beloved sulking at the bottom of the slopes whilst I escape up the lifts to vin chaud and freedom...
9. Hangover cure. For dealing with the results of No. 8.
And of course...
10. Industrial quantities of Chocolate. Which goes without saying, really.
At least you still have the ability to make others laugh.. well sort of. It's one of those sympathetic laughs where you recognise a situation, but acknowledge that the author has managed to top it well and truly.
ReplyDeleteI love the kicked plastic step. Love it.
I hope you manage to pull off the skiing weekend.
I have EXACTLY the same problem with doctor's receptionists. Why on earth do they make it so difficult to get access to a doctor?? Let me know if you find that anger management course. For now I have Cadburys Cream Eggs but may struggle after Easter!
ReplyDeleteHi Tracey, glad I struck a chord. (I was wondering whether that point might be misinterpreted and I would wake up in the morning to find social services on the doorstep. Terrible how paranoid the 21st century makes us, isn't it?)
ReplyDeleteRosie, Cadbury Mini Eggs, surely? I mean, you can only eat one or two cream eggs, whilst it's possible to demolish a bag of mini eggs in one sitting. Well, it is for me, anyway...
Go skiing on your own?
ReplyDeletearrgghh! you know (rationalising hat on) 39.5 isn't ACTUALLY that bad, not yet classed as a fever...i reckon you could get away with the skiing!
ReplyDeletePigx
ps: good luck
Iota, it's a strong possibility. And it wouldn't be the first time... (Though in my defence, I did once spend a very boring 5 days in Austria looking up at the mountain when pregnant with Boy #1 whilst Husband went and skied his boots off. Sauce for the goose, and all that...)
ReplyDeletePig, I've obviously got a scaredy cat doctor and have been looking at the wrong websites. I thought anything over 38.5 was a fever. But then of course, Les Francais are much more practical about such things than we wimpy Anglais...
Well Darlin - I really hope you had an alternate date picked if this weekend got ruined by anything at all...
ReplyDeleteLooks like you might be spending it blogging...sorry...
I think I can help you with the sense of calm resignation.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I have reached middle age with this talent firmly developed to an art form.
It comes after many inflictions of disappointments in life as it happens to you while you wait for something really exciting to happen and you eat chocolate instead.
You learn to be resigned, but take it to a level of awareness of self and harmony with the universe as if you are a well practiced Buddhist monk.
I really hope the vacation works out for you. Sounds like you could use a break.
ReplyDeleteDo Centre Parcs have ski slopes?
ReplyDeleteMya x
If I were a doctor I would prescribe chocolate to be administered every hour for you. As regards the actual doctor, my suggestion would be to lie through your teeth. It's the only way to see an actual qualified person. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThe boys will be fine - you can go skiing. Husband's toe will miraculously recover in time to put his ski boots on. And I'm sooo glad you didn't injure your toe when you kicked that step.
ReplyDeleteAnd what's this with wanting to go to the loo on your own? It was years before I achieved that. One day, all of a sudden, you'll realise that, from the boys' point of view, the absolutely worst thing they can possibly imagine is their mother's bodily functions. Not only will you get to go to the loo on your own, you won't be allowed into the bathroom while they're in the shower.
Aims, things are looking up: no temperatures this morning, anti-biotics going down well, so am hopeful we will make our plane after all...
ReplyDeleteIrene, I will start practicing my humming.
SB - ah, the power of understatement!
Hi Kelly, thanks for the visit and lying works for me!
GPM, I know. And I also know that when I am banished, it will make me just a little bit sad. But in the meantime a bit of privacy would be a wonderful thing!
Looks like you're sorted for the next bout though!
ReplyDeleteSeeing your last comment I feel relieved that you're probably going now! Hope it works out - have a lovely time - and don't worry, sick boy will probably get lots of TLC.
ReplyDeleteDid you stay or did you go?
ReplyDeletebest of luck. I am thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteDear PM, why we open a joint medical sanctuary?
ReplyDeleteWe could have them with our own secret bathrooms, just think, being able to pee in private....
I did that once you know.
I really get fed up at lying in a hot bath with a book, trying to relax after a long day, and my three girls taking it in turns to come in and see Mummy, and wee to keep me company....STOP IT!! I WANT MY OWN BATHROOMMM!!!!
I fully empathuse with the bathroom thing... I don't remember thelast time I had a bit of priviacy!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you got to go skiing!
Hi Mya, sorry didn't mean to miss you out and not sure about the centre parcs with ski slopes... Maybe the ones in the Yorkshire Moors..?
ReplyDeleteHi EPM, all recovered (well, mostly), and on our way home now from the weekend off. Can't wait to see the little darlings...
Hi GBS, when Husband called his mother this morning the boys were bouncing on her bed. So not only is Boy #2 fine, but he is being spoilt rotten with loads of stuff he isn't allowed to do at home. Isn't that what grandparents are for?
Iota, oh we went. And you can expect to hear all about it, along with hotel recommendation and everything. Just not now...
OM, thankyou.
Frog, I know. When will it end?
MdP, thanks. And I keep telling myself that privacy is over-rated. It doesn't help (as it's not true), but I live in hope.
Well thank heavens for that!!! I had to resort to eating a whole packet of G&B cooking choc with all the worry that you weren't going to get away! (Well that's the excuse I gave Dear Charlie when he found the wrapper in the bin - I could hardly say it was his family that drove me to it not politic esp when I want him relinquish his ban on me keeping one of the whippet's puppies later this year.....)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a fab time!
Thanks Tattie - and feel free to use me as an excuse for excessive chocolate consumption whenever you like!
ReplyDelete