Rinse and repeat. And repeat. And repeat...

Things I never imagined I would say as regularly as I do (but which I suspect other mothers of boys might find somewhat familiar):

• Why - exactly - do you need to be naked to listen to Debussy's 'Clair de Lune' / Uptown Funk / The Black-Eyed Peas?
• Because I don't really want you to sit on the sofa cushions with your bare bottom
• Well, would YOU like to sit somewhere that someone else's bare bottom had been?
• It's state of cleanliness is not the point.  Well, OK, it is.  But you still have to put your clothes back on.
• Hurry up and put your taekwondo kit on, and leave your pants ON this time, please..
• I know papa does it - but that doesn't mean you have to.
• I know it's -10deg C outside, but can someone open the window please?
• Who-ever is responsible for what's on the loo seat, can they clean it up NOW, please?
• The idea of a family signature dance is lovely, darling.  But we're not doing that one.
• Well yes, I did hear Grandad tell that joke.  But it's still not appropriate for school.

And of course, that all time classic:

• No-one needs to see that first thing in the morning.