Things I never imagined I would say as regularly as I do (but which I suspect other mothers of boys might find somewhat familiar):
And of course, that all time classic:
- Why - exactly - do you need to be naked to listen to Debussy's 'Clair de Lune' / Uptown Funk / The Black-Eyed Peas?
- Because I don't really want you to sit on the sofa cushions with your bare bottom
- Well, would YOU like to sit somewhere that someone else's bare bottom had been?
- It's state of cleanliness is not the point. Well, OK, it is. But you still have to put your clothes back on.
- Hurry up and put your taekwondo kit on, and leave your pants ON this time, please..
- I know papa does it - but that doesn't mean you have to.
- I know it's -10deg C outside, but can someone open the window please?
- Who-ever is responsible for what's on the loo seat, can they clean it up NOW, please?
- The idea of a family signature dance is lovely, darling. But we're not doing that one.
- Well yes, I did hear Grandad tell that joke. But it's still not appropriate for school.
And of course, that all time classic:
- No-one needs to see that first thing in the morning.
