A conversation with my sons about childbirth...

>> Saturday, 8 October 2011

The question came out of nowhere as I was driving - late - to Boy #1's football fixture this morning.

"Mum, how do babies get out?"

We didn't actually have a car crash as I wondered how to answer my older son's query, but that was mainly because it was early and most Russians are far too sensible to be on the road before 10 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

I decided to bite the bullet. "Well, ladies have a special hole between their legs, and the baby comes out through there. Mostly."

Silence whilst this was digested. Then, in a very sceptical tone of voice; "Reeeeeaaaaallly?"

"Yes, really."

"How big is the hole?"

"Well, normally it's very small. It has to stretch - a lot - for the baby to get out."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "That must hurt very much."

I laughed ruefully, wondering if I might actually be managing to educate a male in how amazing women are, that they can bear the pain of childbirth. "It most certainly does."

Then; "Wow. Those poor babies."

"Yeah" piped up Boy #2. "Those poor babies..."

Dear Lord. Give me strength.


Expat mum 8 October 2011 at 15:37  

Ha ha. I remember years ago, explaining the same thing to the Queenager on a car ride. It all went very quiet in the back seat while she pondered the enormity of it all. Then she piped up, "But mommy, they'll be all covered in wee!"

Anonymous,  8 October 2011 at 20:40  

Brilliant! I had a similar conversation with my daughter last year. Your son's reaction was far more entertaining!

planb 8 October 2011 at 20:45  

Golly! You did well to get to Boy 1's age without that conversation! I had exactly the same one with L when she was 3 1/2 about a friend of mine who was expecting her 2nd. I simply said "there's a 'special hole'" and left it at that... about three weeks later, also in the car (what is it about the car?) she asked where it was. When I said "between your legs" she refused to believe me.

I'm not sure I'll ever forget arguing with a three year old about the female anatomy...

Fortunately she hasn't made the connection with how her baby brother appeared yet.

ps you know it's only a matter of time before he asks how the baby got in there in the first place...

nappy valley girl 9 October 2011 at 00:26  

Tee hee.

I've had that conversation several times with the boys. Since they were both c-sections I just tell them they got cut out of my tummy, and that normally quietens them down for a bit....

MsCaroline 9 October 2011 at 00:53  

Well, it must hurt, right? The poor babies do come out crying....

Nora 9 October 2011 at 02:12  

I wonder if boys, even when they turn into men, ever wonder how much it really hurts?

Muddling Along 10 October 2011 at 15:08  

Think you handled it brilliantly

Typical male approach - Mr still goes on about his terribly hangover he had when Bigger was born, nothing to me having to give birth without pain relief!

Nicola 11 October 2011 at 10:27  

Ok - that is classic. Although I have to say, being a woman, that it is one side of the equation I haven't properly given much thought to...

Nan Sheppard 12 October 2011 at 12:21  

BWAHAHAHA! Oh, my goodness.

Iota 14 October 2011 at 13:20  

I have had to share this story with a couple of people over the past few days, and we have all laughed. A lot.

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