...the following:
1. Not to keep my hairspray and toner in similar bottles side by side in the bathroom cabinet. No, I didn't make the obvious mistake and spray my face with hairspray, although that has been known to happen before. You'ld think I would learn, right? Apparantly not, as this morning I liberally spritzed my new, low maintenance hairstyle with toner rather than hairspray just as I was about to head out the door. For your information, low maintenance hairstyles do not like toner. I look like a drowned rat.
2. That breast enlargements do actually leave scars. Which is obvious if you think about it, I just never had. I was at the gym and a rather perky lady leaned over to pick something up as she was getting dressed and I just happened to get an eyeful, having dropped my ipod (if you're reading this, Husband, it was only a very gentle drop) by her trainers. Anyway, I don't have to justify myself, suffice it to say that I saw. And let me tell you, whilst the scars weren't hideous, they were visible, which was interesting as I had never really considered that side-effect of such an operation before. And no, am not considering it for myself. There's a great deal of work to do on the rest of myself before I turn my attention to that area...
3. That apparantly I put on 'training breasts' to go the gym. According to Boy #1, anyway. Perhaps I should wear a sports bra more often?
4. That sitting under a plane tree in June has much the same result as supervising Boy #2 during one of his haircuts; uncomfortable itchiness around the neck-line in a place where it's not acceptable to remove your t-shirt to brush away the irritating fibres. (He gets a cape to stop that. I - don't.) In any case, I will not be doing that again. (The plane tree experiment, not the haircuts. Sadly I still have some time to serve on that particular form of maternal fun).
5. That delicious as it may be at the time, having a second helping of Singapore Roasted Chicken at Hakkasan on your wedding anniversary will play havoc with your digestion the next day.
6. That we need more air freshener.
And on that charming note, I will close...
Almost as bad as me with my Avon lavender toner which is in a similar bottle to the Avon lavender room freshener spray.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, the room is lovely and toned and I smell as fresh as a lavender bush.
You've just reminded me, we need air freshener too. Little boys and toilets - a match made in stinky heaven, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteAnd scars? Really? Was her frontal lobotomy scar showing too?
Mya x
N-H Mum, if you were Mya I could make a rude comment about a lavender bush - but you're not, so I won't.
ReplyDeleteMya, no, it was hidden underneath her mass of long blonde hair. And that is not a joke. Don't you just hate it when people conform to stereotypes?
Blonde - big boobs...and at the gym. Great. Makes me want to join right up!
ReplyDeletePerhaps she had never heard of Vitamin E or Bio Oil. But scars indeed. How do you think the guys feel when they get to the scars? Like ick?
Now masectomy scars - they make you just want to hug the person as opposed to booting the blonde.
A plane tree? Let me guess - with wings?
I had a wiggly boy too who wouldn't sit still for his haircuts. I think he had a phobia for them. He did outgrow them eventually. He had all sorts of odd quirks like that. It must have been his Dutchness.
ReplyDeleteWhat in the world is a plane tree?
ReplyDeleteAnd itchy haircuts, I give them and get coated in hair. At least they get less squirmy with age.
Hi Aims, Wikipedia informs me that plane trees are known as sycamores in your part of the world. Though we have sycamores too, and they are quite different to plane trees. Oh well - I've quoted it before, will do so again (and apologies for lumping Canada in with the US here but it doesn't make sense otherwise): 'two nations separated by a common language...'
ReplyDeleteOho Nora - so I can blame Dutch Husband for the Boy's bad performance at the barbers then? I'll remember that...
Ped, I live in hope. (And see my note to Aims above on what a plane tree is...)
THANK-YOU for giving that tree a name. It made me and my daughter sneeze last weekend. Ha, something else to add to my 'things i detest list'.
ReplyDeleteouch, ouch and ouch. scars and boobs, it's not right.
am i weird but i hate air freshener. the smell of crap mixed with high notes of cedar seems to make it all so much worse.
Incense. that's the way forward, and you'll feel a bit young as well.
the last part is a lie, you won't feel at all young becoz you'll still have grey hairs at your temples and stretch marks. not you, you fool, me.
time for bed i think.
Pigx
Too, too much information Potty!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Pig, air freshener is yuck, though I'll leave the delicate descriptions of why, to her, she's so eloquent!
I would have thought toner wold be good for your hair. Although the one I used (properly) this morning nearly stripped the top layer of my skin off. Straight in the bin, or perhaps to be used as paint stripper.
ReplyDeleteHi Pig, I hate those trees too. This morning our car, parked under one last night, looked like it needed a shave, it had so much pollen on it. (Still, they eat the pollution, apparantly, so what can you do?)
ReplyDeleteFrog, I know, I'm sorry. Note to self; remember not to share EVERYTHING.
Hi EPM, toner probably is good FOR hair. It just doesn't look good ON hair... well, not mine, anyway!