Monday, 30 April 2012

The secret life of your Fat

It's Monday.  The perfect day to reflect on the rubbish you ate over the weekend, and resolve to do better for at least the next few days.

Like practically every woman I know, I have a complicated relationship with food.  I know what I should eat; fruit, wholegrains, vegetables, healthy but limited carbs, fish, lean meat & poultry etc, and mostly I stick to that but every now and again - as in, every now and again every day - I cave.  I try to keep a sense of perspective about that, telling myself that as long as I follow the 80:20 rule (80% good stuff, 20% indulgence) I'm not doing too badly, and yet, in the last few months a little bit of extra padding has appeared.  Not a lot, admittedly, but it's 2 or 3 kilos that weren't there at the end of last year and which I really don't want to become my new 'normal'. I can hear you scoff from here; "2 or 3 kilos? That's nothing to worry about!" and of course you're right, except...  Well, what happens when I gain the next 2 or 3 kilos?  And the next 2 or 3 after that?  Before you know it an extra stone and a half will have crept on whilst I'm busy trying to reassure myself that as long as I follow the 80:20 rule I don't really have anything to worry about.

So I've been thinking that it's a good time to try and shift back to my preferred 'normal' before the current one settles in for the long haul and starts to invite it's mates, (kilos 4, 5, and 6) over for a visit and before they hold a party to which kilos 7, 8 and 9 turn up and decide to stay as well.

But even losing just 2 or 3 kilos can be a bit of a battle at times.

I was wondering why that might be, and then had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine who is a nutritionist for the World Bank (because that's an obvious career path, right?) and she told me about some fascinating studies that have been done on Fat recently.  Note the capital letter - you'll understand why I use it in a moment.

We all know that one of the reasons human beings can struggle with their weight is because our lifestyles have evolved more quickly than our bodies.  In fact Slummy Single Mummy just wrote about it today (click here to see her very interesting piece).  To put it simply, our bodies seek to store fat at any opportunity because historically humans did not know where the next meal was coming from.  If there was an opportunity to calorie-load, we were programmed to take it.  There was no question of Neanderthal or early Homo Sapiens Woman looking at bush full of berries and saying "You know, they look great, but I'm still full from yesterday's roasted possum, and I've been feeling a little bloated recently, so I'll pass, thanks all the same..."  No, they would have eaten as much as they could and then taken what they could carry with them. And that was fine, because they probably would have run it off escaping from marauding dinosaurs or boars or sabre toothed tigers or whatever.

Luckily for us, however, marauding boars are thin on the ground these days, and our fridges are stuffed full of berries and roasted possums (well, you get the point), so not only do we not need to do a great deal of escaping, but we know exactly where our next meal is coming from; that big white box humming gently in the corner of the kitchen.  At least - mentally, we do.

Our bodies, though?  Not so much.  We are still programmed to stuff as much as we can into our mouths at the first opportunity, even though we don't actually need to anymore. So we do that, and put on Fat.  And here is where the capital 'F' comes in.  My nutritionist friend told me that when you gain Fat, your body rejoices (again, we all know that), and tries to maintain it.  And it does that because - here's the scary bit, which I didn't know -  Fat can develop a life of it's own.  Your Fat, essentially, is an organ*.  Like your heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, skin etc.  And also like those, it gives out hormones.  Hormones that encourage you to eat at any opportunity, not only because subconsciously your body doesn't know where the next meal is coming from, but because Fat - the sneaky little beggar - wants to ensure it's continued existence.

Your body plays along with this because of it's innate survival instinct and even misses Fat when it's gone.  Once you've had excess Fat, even if you've lost it, your body will seek to regain the status quo it previously enjoyed and felt safe with.  Which is a bit of a kicker when you've worked hard to lose a significant amount of weight and succeeded, but unfortunately is how life is as an un-properly evolved Homo Sapiens in the modern world.

And which may also explain why, having read Slummy Single Mummy's piece, the next post that I read - as it was at the top of my Blog Roll - was all about chocolate, and also why I then googled the name of the store it referred to and added it to my mental 'must do' list for the next time I'm back in London.

Fat, eh? Who knew that it's such an evil mastermind..?


* Fat as an organ is not in itself a bad thing, by the way - click here to see the good stuff it delivers too.


Friday, 27 April 2012

Lazy Bloggers unite...

I know, I know.  It's lazy blogging.  But I just saw this and couldn't resist.  So, for those of you who liked Cat Vs Printer, here is....

Sorry, can you pipe down at the back, please?  I know it's Friday and everything but please, pay attention.

Now, here it is...

Cat vs - Oh, for Pete's sake.  Stop rustling the hobnobs packet and slurping your tea.  I can't hear myself think over here.  Are we all settled now?  Are we?  That includes you - yes, you.  Yes, I can see you scribbling down your to-do list on the back of an envelope.

Right.  Here we are:

Cat vs cat vs printer.  If you can be bothered to tear yourself away from your packet of Walkers crisps, that is...


Thursday, 26 April 2012

Moscow Spring - blink and you'll miss it

So, following our Easter break in the UK, we've been back in Moscow for 10 days now.  In that period of time Spring has sprung and more or less morphed straight into summer, as evidenced by the following:


  • The temperature has gone from +2degC on our arrival to +21degC yesterday, and is predicted to be +25degC today
  • The snow, which was still lying 10cm thick on the ground when we got back, has entirely disappeared.  This is good, although the accumulated layer of crap* (literally) that is left behind is less so.
  • The grass has gone from 'Oh, I'm so tired, I really can't be bothered, what do you mean it's time to wake up?' to 'Ta Dah! Look at me!  I'm so perky and green!'
  • The birds have started to arrive and are getting busy with it all over the place (makes for some interesting conversations with my youngest about piggy backs)
  • The local version of ladybird are doing much the same thing and are showing scant regard for privacy or safety, choosing mostly to misbehave in the middle of the road which we use to walk to school.  More conversations about piggy-backs ensue, as well as some careful stepping around those who have gone to meet their maker in their pursuit of ecstasy (well, it's one way to go, I suppose).
  • Moscow's restaurants and cafe's are taking over the pavements, albeit with the smarter ones equipping tables with rugs for patrons to wrap around themselves when it gets a little chilly in the evening.
  • Acceptable attire for a walk through the forest has gone from being warm jeans and boots to miniscule shorts and sky-high spiked heels.  Not for me, obviously; I find 6 inch platforms are much more practical when I go out running in the woods on muddy paths**...


* Moscow has a population of 30,000 - 35,000 wild dogs who for some reason refuse to clean up after themselves...
** Ha. Hahahahahaha. Ha. 

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

We've all been there. Though maybe not as a cat...


Cannot... resist... Must... embed... clip... on blog...

Via @CaitlinMoran on Twitter this evening

(note; contains swear words.  But they ARE in context.  Honest...)

Monday, 23 April 2012

I am grateful for...

This post is the result of a BritMums blogging prompt, in which they suggested we write what we're grateful for.

So here we go: I am grateful for...

My boys, Husband and family
My friends
yadda yadda yadda... the normal stuff we are supposed to be grateful for and of course I am, but but let's cut to the chase...

In no particular order, then:


  • Chocolate. The good stuff, that is.
  • Diet coke
  • Cool white wine on warm summer evenings
  • Cool white wine
  • Butter, sugar, flour, eggs, and whichever genius it was who originally thought; 'Hey! Why not mix them together and turn them into something called - oh, I don't know - cake..?'
  • Cake, generally.  But not Russian cake - sorry.
  • Free range meat & organic vegetables (they really do taste better - and no, we can't generally get them here)
  • Silver sneakers
  • Blister plasters
  • Bling and the self-control not to wear too much of it.  Because of the blisters, obvs.
  • Garlic
  • Toothbrushes & toothpaste
  • Marilyn Moore on the Kings Road in Chelsea
  • Dry cleaners
  • John Lewis (insert heavenly 'LAAA' here)
  • Kindle
  • The fact that my Kindle purchases come out of MY rather than my husband's account
  • A crisply ironed shirt when I haven't had to be the one who ironed it
  • Fresh fish
  • The fact my sons also love fresh fish and will happily sit for a good ten minutes planning our fresh-fish safaris with me as we get excited about forthcoming trips back to the UK
  • The sound of the snow under my cross country skis
  • The fact that the sound of snow under my cross country skis is now a thing of the past until about next January
  • Camomile tea
  • Vodka and champagne.  But not together.  That part of my life is over.
  • South Kensington, generally
  • The expat bubble and the opportunity to step outside it in Russia


And finally;

People who read my wittering blog posts through to the end...