In the presence of greatness...

>> Wednesday, 4 June 2014

My sister (the former blogger known as Footballer's Knees who now confines her brilliance to outpourings on fb) is - undoubtedly, indisputably and without question - a genius.  Don't believe me?  Read this...

I’m having a bad day.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Your Facebook updates and posts now postpone,
Bring out the tweezers and the bleach with care,
For on my chin I found an enormous white hair.
Let the bikini orders and spray tans be cancelled,
The foot spa and pedicure kit dismantled,
Book that long appointment with the beauty specialist,
And the extra time with the behavioural therapist
For my bikini line is bound North, my youth gone West,
My cleavage moved South with my sagging breast,
My skin, my hair have had their final swan song,
I thought that youth would last forever: I was wrong.
The efforts are not needed now: give up on each one;
Pack up the diet books and unlock Big Al’s gun,
Pour away the miso soup and bring out the gin,
For nothing now can bring back my smooth and hairless chin.

P.S. I may have borrowed a little from WH Auden.

Note:  those unfamiliar with WH Auden but who have seen 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' may know the poem from that movie.  And whilst I've included a link to the right scene, I don't recommend you click on it unless you fancy inducing a maudlin mood...)

3 comments:

Nappyvalleygirl,  5 June 2014 09:10  

Brilliant. As for white hairs, I can sympathise..just one on the head, but have found them in other disturbing spots...,,

MsCaroline,  9 June 2014 08:52  

Oh, yes. So true. I do love your sister's sense of humo(u)r. As far as decrepitude goes, nothing makes you feel ancient faster than working with young people. Allow me to share a line from a creative writing essay turned in by one of my Grade 9 English students last week: "Someone greeted him. It was an old man, probably about 40."

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