Stand clear - Rant in progress

>> Monday, 5 March 2012

I wouldn't say that our family routine on a school day is boring, exactly, but...

Oh, alright. If you look at it as a straightforward series of events, without the light relief of personal interaction with other members of the family, it is. It is boring.

Mainly through necessity, but it is boring. Every day we get up, get the kids out of bed, chivvy them into their clothes, breakfast them, cajole them into their snow pants (at this time of year, anyway), take them to school, and - breathe... Then, the whole process is repeated in reverse at the end of the school day with the spicy additions of unpacking uneaten sandwiches from lunchboxes, wrestling with homework, tidying up toys (excuse me whilst I glance around the room, realise that yet again the only person interested in said tidying up is sitting at this computer, heave a deep sigh and decide once more to ignore the mess), and a bath. Sometimes, if I really want to go wild, I manage to read them another few pages of Harry Potter before it's lights out for the boys at 7.50pm. (What? OK. It's a fair cop - 8.00pm. Ish...).

That's it. Day in, day out, very little changes. Look away now thrill-seekers, because there are no surprises here...

So please, tell me;

Why is it, every day, just as one or other of the Boys is about climb in the bath and I'm waiting for them with hands dripping with antibacterial lotion ready to oil them up before they get into the water* they suddenly realise they absolutely must, this instant, this very moment, go to the loo for something that more often than not will take longer than just a moment, and which invariably results in my telling them that on no account are they to do it in the bathroom where I'm undressing /supervising the undressing of their brother, and to get themselves to the downstairs toilet facility pdq.

I mean, it's not as if this is a new and exciting development in our day, this 'taking a bath before bedtime'. For the majority of their lives, they have finished their days clean for reasons that involve a tub, warm water, and plenty of splashing about. Neither are Nature's processes and the management of those news to them; this blog may be called 'The Potty Diaries', but that's for mainly sentimental reasons rather than because I still involve myself with that side of their hygiene, thankyou very much...

So why is it that they can't go to the loo when I tell them I'm going to run the bath, in the 5 - 10 minute window before I ask them to come and get into it, rather than waiting until just about the time I have cream all over my hands and no place to put it if not on them*? Why? Dear god, WHY???

* Don't ask about the cream, it's an eczema thing**
** Actually you can ask if you're struggling with the condition in your children and want to, just drop me a note. Always happy to help...


nappy valley girl 5 March 2012 at 17:42  

Your morning, after school and evening routine sounds uncannily familiar. We don't have the loo before bath problem but for some reason they always get up to go to the loo after they are supposed to be in bed - despite having denied hotly that they need to go before I tuck them up. LB2 also refuses every single morning to get dressed for school, despite the fact that it is something that happens every day without fail at the same time. I am with you on the ranting...

Knackered Mother 5 March 2012 at 18:55  

Like Groundhog Day, only with waaaaay more loo stops.

Bush Mummy 5 March 2012 at 19:58  

I have the loo thing during supper, normally when I've put a plate of hot delicious home cooked food in front of them. Miraculously they suddenly need to 'go'. Drives me insane.

On the bath front, my nearly eight year old now does the whole bath thing by herself. You know, I just got so BORED of doing it.. and they are quite capable when left to their own devices.. It was time to 'shake things up a bit'.. one down two to go..

BM xx

PS just potty trained number 3 - thought of you.

xxx Hannah xxx 5 March 2012 at 20:21  

Both my two also, WITHOUT FAIL, every night, need the loo AT THE SAME TIME just before having a bath / shower. EVERY evening. Two people both fighting over 1 loo. Make that 2 TIRED people fighting over 1 loo. It's ugly... x

planb 5 March 2012 at 20:35  

And why is it that mine, like NVG's, bathed, pyjama-ed, storied, tucked in (yes, those are all officially verbs, in this house, anyway), then ALWAYS but ALWAYS "NEED A POO!!!!" twenty minutes later (or, as this evening, twenty minutes (S), thirty minutes (A) and an hour (L) later) when I'm downstairs, feet up, enjoying the glass of wine I've jolly well deserved...? (for which read scurrying around trying to concoct supper for two adults out of half an onion, some pasta and a tin of beans, while simultaneously shoving more clothes into the washing machine than it was designed to hold).

MsCaroline 6 March 2012 at 03:22  

I can only say - speaking from experience - that this arrangement sounds like a huge improvement over doing one's business while actually *in* the tub, which Son#2 used to do (with just enough unpredictability that I was usually off my guard and not watching for warning signs.) Of course, that was before he was potty trained, but we were all traumatized by the experience and it lingered for years.
I'm sure that you already ask him/them about the loo before you put the cream on your hands, but if they're anything like my sons, they would assure you they don't need to go anyway, and then change their minds as soon as you get the stuff on your hands. Sometimes it's best just to roll over and accept defeat.

Potty Mummy 6 March 2012 at 08:58  

NVG, I HATE it when the post-bedtime loo fairy comes calling...

KM *nods sagely. Reaches for glass.*

BM, great idea except Boy #2 wants to bath with his brother and all hell breaks loose if not. Dammit.

Hannah, the day we moved to house with 2 loos was one for much celebration in our home, I can tell you!

PlanB, I don't know why it is. But you can bet there was a man involved in there somewhere...

MsC, we had that, too (happily, now in the past). Luckily I was never actually IN the tub with them when that happened - but I can't say the same for my husband...

Expat mum 6 March 2012 at 18:46  

Think of them like little Pavlov puppies. Mine seems to suddenly realise he needs a poop half way through dinner, every night. I can sort of understand the regularity; it's the surprise element that baffles me.

Potty Mummy 7 March 2012 at 09:00  

EPM - Maybe - just maybe, Boys are like goldfish? (Have we made some major discovery here?)

Kristopher Reeder Private Tutor 12 March 2012 at 11:15  
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