I've always been a firm believer in the truism that 'A writer writes'. Except, I've not been doing very much of that recently - either here on the blog or elsewhere - which begs the question; am I still a writer?
I'm not sure.
Life has got in the way recently. It's drained the energy from me; any creative spark I have is easily snuffed out. I get inspiration for a post, or a story, get excited about it, start to plan, maybe even begin to write, and then bam! Out of left-field it comes; another metaphorical body blow knocking me sideways. Just like that the idea - and the impetus to put pen to paper - is gone. A brief flare of the match and then, before the flame has even had the chance to take hold, nothing. I know I had it, I could almost touch it, see the words on the page, feel the satisfaction of having written and created something just for myself but now... it's gone.
I'm not sure if it's the life-stage I'm at (that pesky menopause is knocking on the door at the very time I need all my wits about me), or the external influences surrounding me, but for the last few months I've felt about as creative as a worn-out floor mop.
It occurred to me recently that perhaps I should just let this blog go. I've been writing The Potty Diaries for ten years now, perhaps it's time to move on. Other bloggers I started this activity with have - perhaps I should follow suit.
But then, why should I? It's not that my life has become less eventful or that I have nothing to record. In the last two years I've moved countries, re-assimilated to my home country (or at least, have tried to. If' I'm honest that's still something of a work in progress), moved house - twice - excavated and sifted through 20 years of the detritus and leaf litter that's accumulated as the result of modern living, coped (yet again) as a week-day widow whilst Husband continues his work abroad, and kept the family more or less intact as we deal with the short-term impact and long-term ramifications of understanding newly diagnosed learning difficulties in one of our children. That last one's still a work in progress too, actually.
Frankly, I'm exhausted - never a good state to be in if you want to be creative. But I've been here before, years ago, when I started this blog to - literally - make shit funny, and back then it helped enormously.
Maybe it will again - watch this space.
I'm not sure.
Life has got in the way recently. It's drained the energy from me; any creative spark I have is easily snuffed out. I get inspiration for a post, or a story, get excited about it, start to plan, maybe even begin to write, and then bam! Out of left-field it comes; another metaphorical body blow knocking me sideways. Just like that the idea - and the impetus to put pen to paper - is gone. A brief flare of the match and then, before the flame has even had the chance to take hold, nothing. I know I had it, I could almost touch it, see the words on the page, feel the satisfaction of having written and created something just for myself but now... it's gone.
I'm not sure if it's the life-stage I'm at (that pesky menopause is knocking on the door at the very time I need all my wits about me), or the external influences surrounding me, but for the last few months I've felt about as creative as a worn-out floor mop.
It occurred to me recently that perhaps I should just let this blog go. I've been writing The Potty Diaries for ten years now, perhaps it's time to move on. Other bloggers I started this activity with have - perhaps I should follow suit.
But then, why should I? It's not that my life has become less eventful or that I have nothing to record. In the last two years I've moved countries, re-assimilated to my home country (or at least, have tried to. If' I'm honest that's still something of a work in progress), moved house - twice - excavated and sifted through 20 years of the detritus and leaf litter that's accumulated as the result of modern living, coped (yet again) as a week-day widow whilst Husband continues his work abroad, and kept the family more or less intact as we deal with the short-term impact and long-term ramifications of understanding newly diagnosed learning difficulties in one of our children. That last one's still a work in progress too, actually.
Frankly, I'm exhausted - never a good state to be in if you want to be creative. But I've been here before, years ago, when I started this blog to - literally - make shit funny, and back then it helped enormously.
Maybe it will again - watch this space.
