Boobs? Boobs? Where has he heard that word?
Me: "Um, well, because I'm a woman. And women have breasts."
Please don't push me on what we need them for - memories of walking into the bathroom last year to find you trying to use your brother's nipples for what they will never achieve are still too fresh...
Boy #2 (very seriously and matter of factly): "In England, you know, we call them boobs."
He puts his hands firmly on my chest to indicate exactly what he's talking about.
Me (where did he hear this?): "Yes, but we also call them 'breasts'."
Boy #1 (mischievously smiling): "Breadsticks? Do we call them 'breadsticks'?"
Me (give me strength): "No, Boy #1, I said 'Breasts'. BREAASTSS."
Boy #2: "So. In England, some people call them breads. BREADS. But my Auntie K has bigger ones than you and she calls them Boobs. So that is what I will call them. Boobs."
Boy #2 then jumps around the bedroom, clasping his chest and shouting: "Boob-di-boob, do-di-boob. Boob-boo-di-boob..."
Repeat to fade.
Just wait 'till I get hold of my sister...
