Statement of intent...

I can't ignore it any more. It's been eating away at me for months now, if not years. I've tried to push it to one side. Don't be stupid, I've told myself. You don't have the time for this. You don't have the headspace for this. You've got too much going on. When on earth would you find the opportunity?

And - if I'm honest - there's also a small voice that asks dismissively; what makes you think you could?

But always, always, it's there at the back of my mind, like the elephant in the corner of the room, like a great unsolved puzzle, like - well, like nothing so much as an unacknowledged pregnancy, actually.

Despite the thousands of words that I write here and elsewhere every week, I feel pregnant with creativity that I haven't allowed myself to express. I know; that's a big statement. It's so self-important, too. Oooh, get me with the creativity. Get me with the big plan. Christ knows, I don't have the first idea where or how to start. But I need to stop messing about and just get on with it.

It's time to put my money where my mouth is and see if I can actually put more than 500 words down on paper in one go, and crucially have them make some kind of sense. Don't get me wrong, blogging has been (and will continue to be, I'm not giving it up) fantastic; it's helped me find my 'voice', gain confidence in so many ways, and build up a network that I value and treasure, but amazingly, I think - I think - that it might no longer be enough.

Somehow, I have to give writing - I can hardly bring myself to announce my intentions in public for fear of god-knows-what - a 'proper' book a try.

I have no idea what form it will eventually take; I have a couple of ideas and plan to work them through properly, but I suspect that what will kick-start the creative process, for me, is simply to sit down and just get on with it.

And then, I'll know. Have I got what it takes? Watch this space...