British Mummy Blogger of the Week

So we're moving from last week's newest member of BMB to one of the more long-standing ones...

Do you ever get depressed? Not 'God, I'm so fed-up with my life, I want change, I used to be young and pert and look at me now, and there has to be more to existing than this constant round of laundry, washing up, school runs and clocking in and out of the office, and isn't it wine-o'clock yet?'

No, we've all been there. What I'm talking about is real depression. Depression with a capital 'D'. You can't think straight, you can't move forward, you are mired in guilt, panic and white noise. Stasis is the name of your game. Putting on the wash is an achievement, paying the bills and making plans is inconceivable.

All your energies are taken up by simply just getting from one day to the next. You can't focus on anything other than how terrible you feel, you know you're worrying your nearest and dearest but you can't just 'snap out of it' (no matter how many times well-meaning people tell you to), and all that your awareness of their worry achieves is to make you feel even more powerless and to retreat further into your misery.

I've been part of the way there. My overriding impulse, a few years back, was to go into the cupboard off our kitchen, turn off the light, and sit there in darkness, all the better to block out the static and confusion. Thankfully, with understanding support and an excellent counsellor I was able to work my through it, but there are many for whom it's not that simple.

This week's British Mummy of the Week, Reluctant Memsahib, has a mother who is metaphorically trapped in her kitchen cupboard right now. RM writes of herself:

'That I am a third generation Celt in Africa, means I am a Memsahib, like it or not. I’d rather be mama or dada (sister) or – especially – simply addressed by name. None would bear bloody colonial connotation. But no, third generation and white, African logic (or quiet humour) dictates I am memsahib.'

She lives in Tanzania in a far-flung spot she calls The Outpost, and writes of her life balancing between that world, with her husband, and the one that most of us inhabit, which is where her children and family can be found. And she also writes beautifully, openly and movingly of dealing with Depression as an unwanted guest at her family's table.

For the British Mummy Bloggers Ning, click here. (Note: It's called 'Mummy', but Dads can be members too).