...it's oh, so still...
London in August - I just love it. Nobody's here, at least, not in my little patch of it. Being lucky enough to live in ex-pat central all my neighbours in the French mafia have pushed off to visit friends / family / their second homes, some place far warmer and more exotic than here, so we basically have the place to ourselves. With the exception of the odd tourist, obviously. (Which wouldn't be at all bad if they didn't just stop dead every few steps to consult a map / take a sip of their bucket-sized Starbucks / peer into a shop window and gasp in horror at the prices).
The quiet is compounded for me just now as this morning I dropped both Boys down to my parents for a few days of fresh bracing country air - without me. Hurrah! But before you think I'm going to be taking advantadge of this opportunity for late nights and lie-ins, I would like to assure you that my beloved Husband has laid on a fun-filled schedule of carpet installations, boiler services, house-hold chores and car services. Just in case I get bored, you understand. Darn it.
Taking advantage of a moment of calm, however, I was looking through the potty diaries and believe that I may have found a gap in the market for Mr Tiffany of New York. Jewellery - aaaah.... Am not so shallow as to covet this sort of thing myself, you understand, but think I might contact them to suggest a new charm bracelet – for mothers, of course, and encrusted with diamonds, obviously – that you can add items to signifying rites of passage in your childs’ life as follows;
Birth: a miniature silver hypodermic (for the elective caesarean or at the very least, the epidural – god bless the person who invented that, by the way, god bless them…)
Breastfeeding: a miniature silver tube of camilosan, (or a savoy cabbage leaf if you are more ‘naturally’ inclined)Teething: miniature silver tube of calgel (or miniature bottle of Rescue Remedy for the mother)
Introduction of Solids: miniature silver clothes peg – like the one you need on your nose when you change baby’s first resulting nappy
Potty training: a miniature silver mop and bucket
And so on…
London in August - I just love it. Nobody's here, at least, not in my little patch of it. Being lucky enough to live in ex-pat central all my neighbours in the French mafia have pushed off to visit friends / family / their second homes, some place far warmer and more exotic than here, so we basically have the place to ourselves. With the exception of the odd tourist, obviously. (Which wouldn't be at all bad if they didn't just stop dead every few steps to consult a map / take a sip of their bucket-sized Starbucks / peer into a shop window and gasp in horror at the prices).
The quiet is compounded for me just now as this morning I dropped both Boys down to my parents for a few days of fresh bracing country air - without me. Hurrah! But before you think I'm going to be taking advantadge of this opportunity for late nights and lie-ins, I would like to assure you that my beloved Husband has laid on a fun-filled schedule of carpet installations, boiler services, house-hold chores and car services. Just in case I get bored, you understand. Darn it.
Taking advantage of a moment of calm, however, I was looking through the potty diaries and believe that I may have found a gap in the market for Mr Tiffany of New York. Jewellery - aaaah.... Am not so shallow as to covet this sort of thing myself, you understand, but think I might contact them to suggest a new charm bracelet – for mothers, of course, and encrusted with diamonds, obviously – that you can add items to signifying rites of passage in your childs’ life as follows;
Birth: a miniature silver hypodermic (for the elective caesarean or at the very least, the epidural – god bless the person who invented that, by the way, god bless them…)
Breastfeeding: a miniature silver tube of camilosan, (or a savoy cabbage leaf if you are more ‘naturally’ inclined)Teething: miniature silver tube of calgel (or miniature bottle of Rescue Remedy for the mother)
Introduction of Solids: miniature silver clothes peg – like the one you need on your nose when you change baby’s first resulting nappy
Potty training: a miniature silver mop and bucket
And so on…
Dear Potty Mummy,
ReplyDeleteWithout question the diamonds as baby milestones is the perfect solution to baby blues. I will be printing off your post and sticking to the bath room mirror, inside the fridge, on the kettle, and inside my husbands' tractor on the radio.
Dear Frog,
ReplyDeletethanks so much for your comment; you're the first person to do so, and if I had that Tiffany charm bracelet you would recieve it, diamonds and all! BTW - I also waved the concept under my husband's nose. Needless to say, am still waiting for those sparklers...
I hinted for many years about how wonderful diamionds would be in my ears, to match my nice diamond ring (that was a very, very weak moment that I got that, I'm sure!).
ReplyDeleteThen this year on my birthday he bought me a birthday card from my two pet pigs with diamond earrings inside, (I was totally gobsmacked) so sometimes they listen! I just need a diamond neckalace now...