tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post4917748007941219184..comments2023-11-03T07:29:16.334+00:00Comments on The Potty Diaries: A Thorny Issue?Potty Mummyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04751869800592294891noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-40559530731725798292010-02-26T04:08:33.000+00:002010-02-26T04:08:33.000+00:00I think the realization you came to is something t...I think the realization you came to is something that you come to after a bit on your own -as long as your MIL is not an evil person. <br /><br />Mine has always helped out and alwyas been supportive. Sure we don't see eye to eye on everything but I don't know a single person I see eye to eye with at all.<br /><br />Good post.Susiehttp://newdaynewlesson.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-79828078280288246722010-02-25T14:32:51.350+00:002010-02-25T14:32:51.350+00:00I'm short on time (and battery) so can't r...I'm short on time (and battery) so can't reply to everyone individually right now but I just wanted to say that it's interesting the most comments I've had in ages have been on the subject of mother-in-laws... There's clearly a LOT of material out there! Thanks everyone for taking the time to comment, and I will reply eventually, I promise.Potty Mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04751869800592294891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-26416378878452072832010-02-25T13:59:17.048+00:002010-02-25T13:59:17.048+00:00MIL's. Tricky one. Mine is a nightmare. I&#...MIL's. Tricky one. Mine is a nightmare. I've tried so hard for so long and am struggling at the moment. <br /><br />The miles between us make it easier but I am worried this may be the year I politely challenge her rude and disturbing behaviour when she is left alone with me. The whole thing bores me tears and I envy anyone who can manage a good relationship with their MIL. What is it with some women and their sons? <br /><br />All my friends know they have permission to batter me in later years if I ever behave like this to my own son's wife/girlfriend. <br /><br />MDMrsVikkitoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14907024797797093935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-50122910875822163952010-02-25T09:28:50.732+00:002010-02-25T09:28:50.732+00:00i recognise this, but not with the mil, who i sort...i recognise this, but not with the mil, who i sort of got on with, despite that she was gracious and upper, and i am gutter. <br /><br />but dig told me i had the same scary impact on some folks which came as a bit of a surprise to me. he thought this was normal wisdom, like butter goes on toast.<br /><br />(and last night i dreamed of you, pm, thanks to all my anxiety about moving kids across borders. but why were you distracted and carrying that frying pan?)Grithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14022216340604423686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-72714205047168165872010-02-25T08:49:07.041+00:002010-02-25T08:49:07.041+00:00Generally, my husband does a good job of keeping h...Generally, my husband does a good job of keeping his parents under control. I do a less good job with mine. But, my m-i-l and her sister once gave me 4 month old firstborn wine and I have never forgiven them.Dorset Dispatcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10457466586411004146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-38146874080092167782010-02-24T21:23:01.835+00:002010-02-24T21:23:01.835+00:00God, I wish my MIL was scared of me.God, I wish my MIL was scared of me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-76584394920112318502010-02-24T20:24:34.794+00:002010-02-24T20:24:34.794+00:00My MIL only has eyes for her 3 sons and of course ...My MIL only has eyes for her 3 sons and of course their children. Myself and my 2 sister-in-laws might as well not exist, which was something I only realised at my boyfriend's brother's wedding where she only took photos of 'her boys' with their children. How insulting must that have been for the bride?<br /><br />Mind you, my FIL is worse. We had both sets of parents down for a weekend and he said across the table to me, "I don't think you should bother having another child: you haven't coped very well with the first one". I was about 5 months pregnant at the time and we didn't talk to them for months afterwards. All I can say is, I won't be moving them into my house to care for them in their dotage!<br /><br />Loved your post btw!fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284847952437148628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-36157108862400456292010-02-24T18:09:26.362+00:002010-02-24T18:09:26.362+00:00My MIL sadly died before we had children; I miss h...My MIL sadly died before we had children; I miss her almost as much as I miss my own mother and would have loved to have had her help with the boys. We always got on very well when she was alive, having spent many holidays together since I first met my husband as a student, although I know the dynamics can change once you have your own family. <br /><br />My FIL on the other hand is a difficult character and probably does find me a little scary - seeing as we have had some humdingers of rows in our time....but this has grown into a kind of mutual respect, I think. It sounds as if your MIL respects you too - and she can see that you have sound judgement when it comes to the boys.nappy valley girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10788949037047084412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-78562943333738477912010-02-24T12:46:53.790+00:002010-02-24T12:46:53.790+00:00My mother in law is a softie and doesn't reall...My mother in law is a softie and doesn't really get involved unless we ask her to. She babysits but has never done any of the day to day stuff. I don't know whether that's my fault. <br /><br />I lost my mum when I was little so just got on with it when my babies were born and the husband and I managed fine between us.<br /><br />I do often wish she'd just bob round for a cup of tea and chat without it feeling like an appointment has to be made.Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy?https://www.blogger.com/profile/02827420866489863620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-63471076041720990202010-02-24T12:43:40.801+00:002010-02-24T12:43:40.801+00:00I try not to deal with my MIL and the feeling is m...I try not to deal with my MIL and the feeling is mutual. One thing I have learned though is that I don't EVER want to be like her - I will bend over backwards, if I am lucky enough to become a MIL myself, and I hope that like my adored Gran both my Dils will be fighting over who should look after me in my old age....:)<br />As for scary no of course not, no really you're not...honest!Tattieweaslehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10723634612274763884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-23293051931334230212010-02-24T12:17:02.213+00:002010-02-24T12:17:02.213+00:00I used to be a bit scared of my first m-i-l. I di...I used to be a bit scared of my first m-i-l. I didn't know my second as she died before the Farmer and I got together. But I do know that my mum is a bit "wary" of my sister in law. She's a police woman (the sil) and although is really kind and loving, she is also a bit intimidating. <br /><br />CJ xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-11730317053164843402010-02-24T11:14:41.823+00:002010-02-24T11:14:41.823+00:00Well at least your not scared of her! My MIL is sa...Well at least your not scared of her! My MIL is sadly no longer with us but I wish we did get along better and find some common ground when she was alive.Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02055675561988538475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-60897681708859630722010-02-24T10:59:05.837+00:002010-02-24T10:59:05.837+00:00I am blessed with a MIL who is a sweet non-interfe...I am blessed with a MIL who is a sweet non-interfering undemanding mother-of-5 who dotes on her grandchildren but does not smother them. I love her to bits, have never had a disagreement with her and she is by far the easiest guest ever when she comes to stay. Very lucky.<br /><br />I am only scary (apparently) to former colleagues who branded me as such behind my back. <br /><br />They seem to confuse being scary with being efficient. No wonder I am no longer there.<br /><br />Great post.<br /><br />LCM xLondon City Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00459815415379403354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-6105503372533683542010-02-24T08:16:03.526+00:002010-02-24T08:16:03.526+00:00You sound like you have a mutually respectful rela...You sound like you have a mutually respectful relationship with your MIL and it sounds like you deserve it because you've both worked hard at it. My relationship with mine is totally dysfunctional. I don't think people would believe it. It upsets me no end. This for starters - she refuses to call my son by his name (it's Sonny). She says it's not a 'real' name. I spend a lot of visits trying to get her to say it accidentally. It passes the time even if that's a bit juvenile!Deer Babyhttp://deerbaby.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-87557839308469250832010-02-24T08:03:52.871+00:002010-02-24T08:03:52.871+00:00My MIL is all right, she had my husband very late ...My MIL is all right, she had my husband very late so she seems very old to me in comparison to my mother.<br /><br />She very wisely sussed out early on that as her son isn't that fussed about when he sees his parents, I am the conduit to her grandchildren.<br /><br />My friend has an MIL from hell, who attempted to plan a 45th birthday celebration for her son (friend's husband) that involved my friend looking after all her grandchildren while MIL, her two sons and other DIL went out for the day. Oh, and my friend was also meant to have dinner ready for them when they came back. And she was to keep this secret from her husband as it was a big surprise. Yeah, that didn't happen.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13739729422526468003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-81588057879742429162010-02-24T07:24:37.208+00:002010-02-24T07:24:37.208+00:00I'm sure my MIL is scared of me.
What I find ...I'm sure my MIL is scared of me.<br /><br />What I find interesting is that now I have children I can see how some mil's can be annoying -- their little baby boy has left and grown up to live with someone else. That must be hard.A Modern Motherhttp://www.amodernmother.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-33521824925079462382010-02-24T06:33:52.357+00:002010-02-24T06:33:52.357+00:00Can't comment on the M-i-L side of things. But...Can't comment on the M-i-L side of things. But also get described as 'scary'. I was rather shocked the first time this happened, and it does seem to be increasing. One friend (having been prodded heavily in the ribs by his girlfriend) diluted that to 'forthright' which I can live with, but 'scary'?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-5186856197418044622010-02-24T06:02:30.051+00:002010-02-24T06:02:30.051+00:00My MIL is no longer living so I don't actually...My MIL is no longer living so I don't actually have to worry about getting along with her but while she was alive we both did our best to maintain a good relationship despite the fact that we couldn't be more different people and had a major language barrier. Oh, and my FIL is one of the ghastliest men I've ever met and did his level best to make everyone around him miserable, particularly his poor, downtrodden wife. I used to send her pictures of the kids and letters and although she did not always respond I think they improved her (very impoverished) quality of life. I feel very sorry for Husband, though because HIS MIL is, shall we say, a test of loyalty. Fortunately she lives on the other side of the planet from us and he is a true diplomat.mothershiphttp://motherhoodthefinalfrontier.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-52400068542978404062010-02-24T05:56:25.921+00:002010-02-24T05:56:25.921+00:00Umm, a bit of an odd thing to say - I doubt she...Umm, a bit of an odd thing to say - I doubt she's actually frightened of you, probably more just respectful of you and knows you aren't a push over. Whether she thinks that's a good thing or not...well...Not From Laplandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17165208811776097332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-13822915592886850212010-02-24T04:42:46.256+00:002010-02-24T04:42:46.256+00:00Loved Plan B's comment about moving half way r...Loved Plan B's comment about moving half way round the world into a large freezer.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-86246935287123110312010-02-24T04:41:49.465+00:002010-02-24T04:41:49.465+00:00This has left me wanting to retitle my blog "...This has left me wanting to retitle my blog "Not sinister, just private". Sorry, not poking fun at your family. Just loved that phrase.<br /><br />I loved this post, because you have chosen your words so carefully. I bet you pored over it for ages (or did it just flow?)<br /><br />Sounds to me like you do a good job of getting on with your m-i-l. I read a lot of mutual respect in the post. I think I'm a bit more scary with my in-laws than with other people. Perhaps it's to do with drawing boundaries. It's like saying "This is MY home, and this is what we do here", but without actually saying it. You don't really have to say that to other people, because it's obvious, but you're staking out your territory when family is involved.<br /><br />You're sure "scary" isn't Dutch for something else quite different. Like "chocolate-addicted" or something?Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-48444412763825612162010-02-24T00:39:28.218+00:002010-02-24T00:39:28.218+00:00I don't talk to my MIL. She started treating m...I don't talk to my MIL. She started treating my nieces horrible, was snotty to my son, only talks about and cares about herself and Hubby told her she could never come to our house after a traumatic incident at her home involving our nieces. So...for now, I don't deal with her at all.Lisa @ Boondock Ramblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11430994283914399581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-73748211543970222842010-02-23T23:36:43.538+00:002010-02-23T23:36:43.538+00:00Having met you I can't imagine you being scary...Having met you I can't imagine you being scary or prickly! Intelligent. Outspoken. Forthright...yes. I think my MIL has been intimidated by me - and she certainly respects my (and my ex's) views on how we want to raise the boys, although it is different to her experience. And as she is only 13 years older than me we have far more in common than I ever expected outside of the parenting realm. So now it appears more like respect than intimidation. And even though I think I am relatively strict with the boys, my own father and his wife think I am a lightweight and are far more strict. There would be no offerings of a 3rd or 4th biscuits in their house for sure! That's an army upbringing for you I guess. xxNicolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07017352687163694581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-56246202090914793312010-02-23T23:05:35.599+00:002010-02-23T23:05:35.599+00:00Minefield! Mine's good, though - but because s...Minefield! Mine's good, though - but because she lives so far away, we could have been more comfortable with each other by now if we'd seen each other more often.<br /><br />(I can be prickly, too. I think it's the curse of the young mother.)Mwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954216492730746581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-18641387775946098342010-02-23T23:03:19.555+00:002010-02-23T23:03:19.555+00:00"scary"'s a funny word isn't it?..."scary"'s a funny word isn't it? Doesn't it just mean "respects your opinion"? But somehow it sounds so derogatory. I'm sure she thinks you're amazing though. How many women would move half way round the world into a large freezer for her adored son?<br /><br />Anyway, my mother-in-law? I think she's amazing. I'm not quite so sure what she thinks about me. At their 40th anniversary party last summer she gushed about C (B's sil no 1) and K (sil no 2), and then she said "and Plan B. Well, what can I say? Every family needs a Plan B".<br /><br />What does that mean????? Am assured it's a good thing. But I wonder...Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11975259590293860488noreply@blogger.com