tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post3431087039373894398..comments2023-11-03T07:29:16.334+00:00Comments on The Potty Diaries: Stopping the rot before it startsPotty Mummyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04751869800592294891noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-61628905717524140672010-02-20T00:42:37.463+00:002010-02-20T00:42:37.463+00:00And in answer to your final question "what wo...And in answer to your final question "what would I have done?", I would have gone home, had a cup of tea, cried, and felt very homesick.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-17022713207031363892010-02-20T00:40:11.924+00:002010-02-20T00:40:11.924+00:00I am absolutely darn hopeless in these situations....I am absolutely darn hopeless in these situations. I don't know what is acceptable playground behaviour and what isn't. I don't know how to intervene. I don't know what to make a big deal of and what to ignore. I HATED doing playground duty. Instant authority without any knowledge or training.<br /><br />If you felt that what was going on wasn't acceptable, then you were probably right. Trust your instincts and all that. I can't think you made it any worse, and on that basis, intervening was right. Especially if you could see that your son wasn't going to be able to get out of the situation on his own.<br /><br />Oh gosh, I've just read the comments, and I realise I'm a bit out on a limb here. Everyone else seems more outraged. Aaaargh, shall I pres "publish your comment" or not? What to do? <br /><br />Thing is, when I read the post, I envisaged a jolly snowball fight, but perhaps it wasn't that. Was it real proper boy fighting? In which case, yes, I agree with everyone else. You have to sort out injustice on the spot if you can.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-37250015062618167852010-02-19T02:16:50.806+00:002010-02-19T02:16:50.806+00:00I think you did fantastically well in that situati...I think you did fantastically well in that situation. I wouldn't have been half as clever. (Great point about how you bet he didn't even always do what his parents told him, so why do what other kids tell him. I love it - it's a brilliant argument. (The 'jump off a bridge" one loses credibility really quickly with kids, let me tell you!)<br /><br />Mind you, I think that parents have to be careful in school grounds when addressing other kids, because sometimes they can misread a situation from a distance. I had to call another mother once who lectured my daughter in the playground over something she perceived seeing happen - in this case, my daughter plus others running off and leaving her daughter. She barged in and lectured my daughter for being horrible - turned out she'd just been going to put rubbish in the bin, or had invited the child to come with them to wherever they were going, and she'd declined - honestly I can't even remember now! (But even if she had run off, the mother can't know what the lead up to the situation might have been - could have been her daughter had said horrible things!)<br /><br />As a parent I expect my child to be in a 'safe zone' in the school playground. I don't think it's ok for random parents to approach my kid. They should take any grievances to the teacher.<br /><br />That said, an obviously physically threatening situation (as in your experience - your kid, any kid for that matter) does warrant immediate intervention, and like I said, I think you handled it really appropriately. I'd also cover yourself by letting the teacher know what you'd said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-27406175646135703452010-02-18T07:36:16.229+00:002010-02-18T07:36:16.229+00:00I have to physically restrain myself from wading i...I have to physically restrain myself from wading in as I often make it worse. It has happened a lot to my older son and I have found it most helpful to get the support of the school.<br /><br />Speaking to parents doesn't always work, especially if they are ignorant and bullying themselves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-4575219120332165102010-02-17T19:57:28.695+00:002010-02-17T19:57:28.695+00:00You were very grown-up and clever, it sounded like...You were very grown-up and clever, it sounded like a textbook response. <br /><br />In that situation I have a quick look around to check there are no parents within earshot, then lean in very menacingly and talk in a quiet serial killer voice. I don't say anything too awful, you know things like, 'you need to back off now, is that clear?' or, 'unless you want your genitals rammed down your throat, piss off at once'.<br />That last one is a joke.<br />PigxPig in the Kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10631525119816074013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-4308050630003399672010-02-17T19:23:21.520+00:002010-02-17T19:23:21.520+00:00i think you handled it perfectly and certainly a l...i think you handled it perfectly and certainly a lot more calmly that I would have.Home Office Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248456622235889204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-87776897215503378532010-02-17T17:32:06.553+00:002010-02-17T17:32:06.553+00:00Thanks Liz - I did that this morning (before posti...Thanks Liz - I did that this morning (before posting this) and must admit it made me feel better to ensure the school is aware of it. Not sure what they can do, but at least the teacher now also knows to keep an eye open.<br /><br />MH, you may never encounter it - I certainly hope not. And I'm desperately hoping it's all done and dusted, but only time will tell...<br /><br />Thanks Keren - good point. Here's hoping I'm never confronted with the issue when they're teens!<br /><br />Thanks Tattie; nothing to report today, so we'll see what happens. I purposefully haven't discussed it further with him - and since he's not backward in coming forward something tells me I would know if there were anything else!<br /><br />Paradise, I'm so hoping that it won't be a teen issue in the next few years! And thanks for the support.<br /><br />Anonymous, thanks for sharing that, and for the proof that involving the parents CAN work (I needed to hear that just in case anything more happens!)<br /><br />Thanks Mammydiaries, for the support and the award! You may have noticed I'm rubbish at these but I LOVE it when I get them...<br /><br />NVG, thankyou. And you have to hope the other parent would have wanted it; if they didn't, well, it does say something about cause and effect, don't you think?Potty Mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04751869800592294891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-12069440440774034032010-02-17T13:44:13.884+00:002010-02-17T13:44:13.884+00:00I think I would have done the same - it would be h...I think I would have done the same - it would be hard to stand there and just watch your son being beaten up. And it's not as if you tore a strip off the bully either - you just had a conversation, which hopefully he took in (although you never know with children). And I also think that if my child was bullying someone, I'd be very pleased if a parent stepped in as you did.nappy valley girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10788949037047084412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-24827077213057114342010-02-17T13:34:42.352+00:002010-02-17T13:34:42.352+00:00Well done you! What I found most interesting thoug...Well done you! What I found most interesting though, was the whole "doing what you're told" aspect and how we tend to engrain our children with this sort of attitude without necessarily providing them with the tools to reason whether or not the person telling them what to do is right. It's interesting... Also, there's a little something for you over at my blog. Don't feel pushed to "pass it on" or even post about it if you don't want to. I just wanted to recognize what a great blog you've got. Cheers!mammydiarieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906061036457420340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-52936901642584469382010-02-17T11:21:51.828+00:002010-02-17T11:21:51.828+00:00You did good - though next time ask the kid who wa...You did good - though next time ask the kid who was following the leader if they would jump off a cliff if the other kid asked them to...<br /><br />On a side note, I was once the bully. The girls mum came over to our house to have a chat with my mum about what I'd been doing - my mum gave me the biggest b*****king of my life, so much so I've never forgotten it. I was then made to buy the girl a bunch of flowers with my pocket money for the next month and go round there and apologise in person. I think the humilation of my mum finding out ensured I never did it again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-25161720409871297752010-02-17T10:42:58.838+00:002010-02-17T10:42:58.838+00:00Good on you I say! Actually I wd wade straight in ...Good on you I say! Actually I wd wade straight in there. I can't abide bullying of any sort & seeing kids treated unjustly. My kid or someone else's. I'm a teacher & I think it's a bully's secret weapon to make out that it will get worse if you 'tell on them'. That you won't get any support. most schools are quite good at dealing with situs ESPECIALLY if you keep at them & don't let it drop. I can't see how it can be a bad thing to protect the smaller & more vulnerable, or to 'help' children think about what they are doing & why, OR to show at a more basic level that they can't get away with it. <br />I agree it's more complex once a child is a teenager but I still think it's a battle worth fightingParadise Lost In Translationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08507703496080523959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-31320313756574468392010-02-17T10:03:41.170+00:002010-02-17T10:03:41.170+00:00I'd be in like Flynn. I'd also tell the sc...I'd be in like Flynn. I'd also tell the school just so an eye can be kept on him while I am not there. The beatbullying website has some useful tips too. I think trying to play it cool with your boy was a good idea as well - I didn't and think I made it worse in my case. However all seems calm her on this fonrt hope it will be on yours!Tattieweaslehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10723634612274763884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-62066618376736994972010-02-17T09:39:04.945+00:002010-02-17T09:39:04.945+00:00In that situation I always got right in there. Sho...In that situation I always got right in there. Short and snappy. Never caused a problem. <br />Once they're teenagers you might want to step back a bit.Keren Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13121027210783177857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-158489423338225452010-02-17T09:35:13.487+00:002010-02-17T09:35:13.487+00:00I will be watching the comments, as this is someth...I will be watching the comments, as this is something I have yet to encounter, well they are only 3 and 4, so I have no idea, but as Liz has said my hackles would be automatically raisedJen Walshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07374363403295342745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5175562867822111389.post-25543983312302937612010-02-17T09:34:02.157+00:002010-02-17T09:34:02.157+00:00When we had a similar problem we spoke to the scho...When we had a similar problem we spoke to the school and they dealt with it. It's very difficult though to suppress your inner Mummy Bear/Lioness instinct when your young are being attacked, verbally or physically. I must admit I felt like marching into the school and picking up the bully by the scruff of his neck.Liz (LivingwithKids)http://www.kidstart.co.uk/livingwithkidsnoreply@blogger.com